lydon Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 I have been in an amazing relationship with my girlfriend for about 10 months. Recently we returned from a family vacation (we both have kids, of our own). My girlfriend has been working doubles all week, so she was very tired ever night, understandable. at the end of the week, i went to wake her up, for a little play time. She was not interested, and told me to go to sleep. I on the other hand was yearning for some intimate time, seeing how we had so little time on vacation with the kids. My reaction was probable not the best, I rolled over to the other side of the bed, feeling a little regected. In the morning i couldn't get the rejected feeling out of my mind so i went a slept the rest of the morning on the couch. In the morning she was livid, saying, that I made her feel like a whore, by demanding sex when i wanted, and when i didn't get it, making a drama out of it . I know i overreacted, i just want to know what to say or do to make things better... By the way, we have a excellent sex life, very fullfilling! any advice!
moimeme Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Love is about giving. She, quite rightly, read your action as unloving - you knew she was exhausted, but woke her up anyway. Even though it was because you wanted closeness, you know how awful it is to be really really tired and get woken up in the middle of a sound sleep. Apologize for being selfish and don't do it again when you know she's so tired. Do something real nice for her - clean something up without asking or take her out for lunch.
Author lydon Posted August 3, 2004 Author Posted August 3, 2004 Thanks, i did apologies for being selfish, as i knew it was my problem, not hers. I need to figure out how think, before i react in the future, i do this ocationally. About 5 months ago, i tryed to have discussion with her about some aspects of sex. I work days, and she nights. which means our sex life occurs between 2:00 a.m, and the sun coming up. My problem was i had no energy at 4:00 a.m, seeing how i had to be up by 7:00 a.m. my brain wanted to make love all night, but my body was exausted. I felt it was affecting my level of intesity in the bedroom. Is it unreasonalbe to want to go to sleep earlier, and make love, or go on getting 4 hrs sleep in order to be with her. Am I being selfish in this case, if so, this is the second time this episode has occured. In my first post, i was content to spend the nights of the week cuddling, and we did with no complaints from me. She had had two nights of regular sleep before this happened, and i was just feeling a little neglected. I t had been 6-7 days since we had been intimate, i masterbate regularly, so i don't think it was me trying to get my rocks off. I always do unselfish acts for her, fill her car with gas, drive her daughter to shop, or to friends houses. record her favourite programs when she is at work. Clean the house. I don't want this to end our relationship, this is my soulmate, and want to communicate to her everything, i just sometimes react without thinking! What do yah think?
faux Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 I cannot understand how this was selfish. It is true that he did know that his girlfriend had been working quite hard recently. It is true that he attempted to wake her up for intimacy at the end of the week. I interpret that she said no, and he respected that no. I can understand how he felt a little upset and lonely that evening, and I can understand his actions. I fail to see how he was selfish. He awoke in the middle of the evening, I take it, and checked to see if his girlfriend might be interested. It was quite possible she might have been interested, and he did not say that he had done this every evening. I am not certain I feel it was right for his girlfriend to say he was being so dramatic, and made to feel guilty. From this one instance, I do not understand how he makes his girlfriend feel like a whore, by asking her if she would like to engage in intimate activities when she is tired. He asked, she said no, and he respected that. Sure, he moped, but isn't that understandable? Am I missing something here? Has this happened more than once, and the girlfriend is justified in what she is saying? If this is a one time occurrence I cannot understand why she would say something so harshly. I suppose I am looking at this differently.
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