YouUsedtobemelclark Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Okay so basically save a little bit of the details, but the main problem with our relationship 6 months is that for the past 2 months I have been getting mad at her constantly about not communicating with me enough. She is extremely busy with school right now, she is a bio chemistry major who is going to med school and I am in my last semester and looking for a job still. We broke up because I continued to get mad at her for no good reason over communication even though she was doing better at it. I told her last Friday that I wanted to break up and said a lot of things that I truly wish I could take back. I than later as we were still talking told her that I was wrong for saying those things and that I still want to be with her. She told me that I cant just flip flop my mind like that and doesn't think that she is going to be able to give me the time that I deserve in this relationship. The next morning she left but came back over, We spent most of the day together and we acted as if nothing had happened saying I love you and having sex. We both talked for a bit when she was about to leave and she told me that she wasn't sure if we should be together and that she needed some time to go home and think about it for a day or so. We still texted and than as the uncertainity was killing me I called her and we talked. the next day and well she told me that she had talked to her mom and that she wasnt sure anymore if I was someone that she could see herself with down the road. And that me saying all these things and than completly taking them back didnt make sense. We were going to meet up to talk about this as breaking up over the phone would be stupid especially since we both love one another. I was going to meet her but called her before and told her that I think it would be best if we took some time to really think everything over when are emotions werent so fresh and would talk later on about this. I talked with friends and family and realized the problem that happened and that I become so obessed with the relationship because I was uncertain where I was going to end up working and living that I based all my self worth on her. This is why I needed a constant reminder from her of her affection and that when she would go a couple hours without talking to me I would get mad and let it build up because I felt like she didnt really care. This was caused all by the insecurities that I had that I was to scared to share with her and because of this I have lost someone that I love so much. I cant believe I did this to myself and now am wondering if their is anything I can do to take this back. As the communication isn't the problem that we had it was the fact that I was scared and thus for sum reason treated her bad because of it. We are kinda stuck in this state of limbo I feel like where I don't know what to expect. We are still texting the last 2 days like everything is normal and I have no idea what to do because I feel like it is almost like delaying the relationship from ending. I want to save the relationship more than anything in the world and now that I know my mistake I believe that I can truly be the person that she feel in love with. I am really just looking for advice on the best way to get her back? Do I keep up talking to her over text and be nice without acting desperate to talk about things and than talk about things in a week or so? Do I send this letter that I wrote apologizing for everything that I did and than cut off communication with her?
CMH309 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I'm happy to hear you realized you were being needy and that is what caused the problems in the relationship. What should you do next? Anything that you believe doesn't make you seem like you need her to validate your worth. What does that mean? It means no letters, text, calls ect. Have patience. Don't play games and stop returning her calls- answer them- quit being so dramatic (sorry to sound harsh)
Author YouUsedtobemelclark Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Okay so you think I should just stop all contact with her and never really have a conversation about everything for closure either way?
CMH309 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I am not saying cut her off/ ignore her. I am saying chill out, let her come to you and then have a conversation.
mano Posted November 10, 2012 Posted November 10, 2012 yes dude, u gotta keep yourself real busy to prevent yourself from thinking much about her and give her enough time to miss you n talk to you herself. this is the best thing to do. if u keep on texting n calling her it might just push her away. just stay patient. be sweet to her whenever she talks n try showing that you are doing okay n focusing more on yourself too now. let her miss you
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