Short term relationship breakups the WORST.

[NGC1300]

The idea that she gave up on me so easily (after 3 weeks) is brutalizing. Especially when we seemed so happy together. As it turned out, it was all fake, because she wasn't capable of expressing her concerns and true feelings.

 

I know it's silly to be so broken up over a mere 3 weeks of dating, but I can't help it.

 

Deceptive or crazy or whatever...I miss her warmth. She's been gone almost a month now and I'm still deep in depression. The nights are cold and lonely, and most of me wishes I never met her. At least then I wouldn't know what I was missing.

 

It just really f*cks with my mind that she abandoned me so easily.

 

When does it get better????

Edited November 6, 2012 by NGC1300

[january2011]

It gets better when you have something/someone else to focus on. Even if that someone else is you.

 

The break-up of short-term relationships can be more devastating because they can be more intense and they don't usually have time to "go wrong" and so you are left reeling. Looking back over a former long-term relationship, there is much more data to support the reasons for the break-up. There's a story arc, if you will. There usually isn't one for a short-term relationship.

[River Rain]

The idea that she gave up on me so easily (after 3 weeks) is brutalizing. Especially when we seemed so happy together. As it turned out, it was all fake, because she wasn't capable of expressing her concerns and true feelings.

 

I know it's silly to be so broken up over a mere 3 weeks of dating, but I can't help it.

 

Deceptive or crazy or whatever...I miss her warmth. She's been gone almost a month now and I'm still deep in depression. The nights are cold and lonely, and most of me wishes I never met her. At least then I wouldn't know what I was missing.

 

It just really f*cks with my mind that she abandoned me so easily.

 

When does it get better????

 

I can definitely relate to you, my last relationship lasted 3 months, then after a month of nc, a week. It was short term but I was/am devastated that it's over, even though my logic knows it is for the best. I also feel completely abandoned and discarded, it's very difficult to deal with. I think that distraction is the only thing that will make it less painful. Meeting new people too. That's how I'm dealing with it. *hugs*

[Simon Phoenix]

Two months here and I feel ya. Was going perfect, I got scared, had a burn and bam, it was over. Just took one misstep on my part to turn her off and not look back and I struggled with it because I got really attached. But I also came to the realization that if she was that willing to dump after something that wasn't that huge of a deal, then it probably would have happened later or something would have come up that would have rendered us incompatible. I apologized, tried to smooth things over, didn't work, oh well. Life moves on.

[olivec]

The idea that she gave up on me so easily (after 3 weeks) is brutalizing. Especially when we seemed so happy together. As it turned out, it was all fake, because she wasn't capable of expressing her concerns and true feelings.

 

I know it's silly to be so broken up over a mere 3 weeks of dating, but I can't help it.

 

Deceptive or crazy or whatever...I miss her warmth. She's been gone almost a month now and I'm still deep in depression. The nights are cold and lonely, and most of me wishes I never met her. At least then I wouldn't know what I was missing.

 

It just really f*cks with my mind that she abandoned me so easily.

 

When does it get better????

 

I know what you mean man. I dated this last girl for a month and she ended it on me as well and yes it ****en sucks ass. Your feeling the same i'm feeling which is dissapointment and probably frustration. i'm in my 30's so it sucks even more for me especially when you have friends and school mates who are already married or getting married. i decided i'm done with it all and focusing on myself.

[todreaminblue]

The idea that she gave up on me so easily (after 3 weeks) is brutalizing. Especially when we seemed so happy together. As it turned out, it was all fake, because she wasn't capable of expressing her concerns and true feelings.

 

I know it's silly to be so broken up over a mere 3 weeks of dating, but I can't help it.

 

Deceptive or crazy or whatever...I miss her warmth. She's been gone almost a month now and I'm still deep in depression. The nights are cold and lonely, and most of me wishes I never met her. At least then I wouldn't know what I was missing.

 

It just really f*cks with my mind that she abandoned me so easily.

 

When does it get better????

 

 

I havent had this situation happen to me but it must have been hard because in that period it is just getting to know the other person....what reason did she call it off for?

[olivec]

Two months here and I feel ya. Was going perfect, I got scared, had a burn and bam, it was over. Just took one misstep on my part to turn her off and not look back and I struggled with it because I got really attached. But I also came to the realization that if she was that willing to dump after something that wasn't that huge of a deal, then it probably would have happened later or something would have come up that would have rendered us incompatible. I apologized, tried to smooth things over, didn't work, oh well. Life moves on.

 

exact thing happend to me. was dumped over something soo stupid. tried to explain and apoligise and didnt work at all. honestly i believe people who dump you that quick A. wanted a fling, b. never cared in the first place. thats the only thing that made it feel better. but like i said to the op its still frustrating and dissappointing especially if you felt that there was a connection. honestly my 30s has been terrible for me when it comes to dating. i'm putting it on the back burner for now because its just too frustrating right now and i need a break from it.

[Simon Phoenix]

exact thing happend to me. was dumped over something soo stupid. tried to explain and apoligise and didnt work at all. honestly i believe people who dump you that quick A. wanted a fling, b. never cared in the first place. thats the only thing that made it feel better. but like i said to the op its still frustrating and dissappointing especially if you felt that there was a connection. honestly my 30s has been terrible for me when it comes to dating. i'm putting it on the back burner for now because its just too frustrating right now and i need a break from it.

 

In my 30s as well and most of my dealings with women are short flings, so this one caught me by surprise. Everything she said and did was geared toward moving the relationship forward to the serious level (planning trips for us, wanting to meet my family, etc.). Of course I started thinking that way, which freaked me out, so I drunkenly pulled the eject lever. I immediately regretted it, apologized but she wasn't having it. And she's the sister-in-law of my best friend, so I can't completely avoid her, or updates of her, as our relationship inevitably became group gossip.

 

But yeah, she knows that I really liked her, knows my number and knows where I live. I will not chase and I have not made any contact with her in six weeks. I'm sure I'll run into her somehow and we'll see how that goes, but what's done is done.

[clemson843]

Same thing just happened to me 2 weeks ago. Still trying to figure it out. No Contact isn't going well for me. She tells me she cares about me and loves me but shes completely gone. Not even the same person. This was one relationship I wanted to do right too. I was content with her being the one, then this happens. It sucks. I try to distract myself but just keep thinking about her.

[NGC1300]

I havent had this situation happen to me but it must have been hard because in that period it is just getting to know the other person....what reason did she call it off for?

 

Lots of excuses as far as I'm concerned.

 

She thought I was "lazy" despite the fact that I work a demanding job while she works a low wage part time job and lives with her parents.

 

I'm not really a "people person", and she is, so that's another reason she gave.

 

She also thought I was "irresponsible" because I forgot to renew the registration on my truck.

 

Another factor, which she never brought up but I think contributed was my planning on using a certain drug. I won't go into details, but let's just say it's NOT a recreational drug and that I'm a safe and healthy person.

 

All I know now is that she never cared, and that all the affection was fake.

[NGC1300]

Not even the same person.

 

This is the most brutalizing part for me.

 

Once it's over, they're cold, and it's like you never even existed to them.

[AlexDP]

The idea that she gave up on me so easily (after 3 weeks) is brutalizing. Especially when we seemed so happy together. As it turned out, it was all fake, because she wasn't capable of expressing her concerns and true feelings.

 

I know it's silly to be so broken up over a mere 3 weeks of dating, but I can't help it.

 

Deceptive or crazy or whatever...I miss her warmth. She's been gone almost a month now and I'm still deep in depression. The nights are cold and lonely, and most of me wishes I never met her. At least then I wouldn't know what I was missing.

 

It just really f*cks with my mind that she abandoned me so easily.

 

When does it get better????

 

 

So she's crazy, deceptive and not capable of expressing her true feelings. You were together for three weeks.

 

I say you did well in getting out.

[NGC1300]

So she's crazy, deceptive and not capable of expressing her true feelings. You were together for three weeks.

 

I say you did well in getting out.

 

I still can't believe how massive her facade was.

 

She meemed like this cute, sweet little girl who loved animals and disney movies.

 

Then I'm dropped like a rock, with her claiming she "needed more sexually".

 

It's downright scary people like this exist.

[NGC1300]

double post

Edited November 6, 2012 by NGC1300

[TopCat22]

People today are much more callous about relationships. Everything has to be perfect and if it isn't then you are jettisoned. No discussions, no effort put in, just on to the next one. It's become all too easy to do.

 

Take heart though. Deep down these people will never find that perfection and they will drive themselves crazy looking for it. You can do far better. Good people still exist out there, it's just a shame you have to wade through all the **** to find them.

[colombiana28]

I still can't believe how massive her facade was.

 

She meemed like this cute, sweet little girl who loved animals and disney movies.

 

Then I'm dropped like a rock, with her claiming she "needed more sexually".

 

It's downright scary people like this exist.

 

sounds like you're pretty damn naive.

[River Rain]

I still can't believe how massive her facade was.

 

She meemed like this cute, sweet little girl who loved animals and disney movies.

 

Then I'm dropped like a rock, with her claiming she "needed more sexually".

 

It's downright scary people like this exist.

 

Lots of men and women misrepresent themselves at the start of a relationship and then their true selves come out later. It's all based on insecurity and it's not always that easy to see through. Been there.

[veggirl]

Lots of men and women misrepresent themselves at the start of a relationship and then their true selves come out later. It's all based on insecurity and it's not always that easy to see through. Been there.

 

Yes and this is why, at the beginning, you keep your feelings in check and you consciously remind yourself that you DON'T KNOW this person yet. You realize that the excitement and butterflies are lust, not love, and that this person is essentially still a stranger.

 

That way, a 3 week relationship doesn't leave you reeling for weeks on end like OP.

 

Sure the newness is awesome and fun and exciting, but we all owe it to ourselves to keep that in check and recognize it for what it is...which is not anything "REAL" yet.

 

Anyone who immediately makes a new relationship their whole life is just asking for trouble!!

[River Rain]

Yes and this is why, at the beginning, you keep your feelings in check and you consciously remind yourself that you DON'T KNOW this person yet. You realize that the excitement and butterflies are lust, not love, and that this person is essentially still a stranger.

 

That way, a 3 week relationship doesn't leave you reeling for weeks on end like OP.

 

Sure the newness is awesome and fun and exciting, but we all owe it to ourselves to keep that in check and recognize it for what it is...which is not anything "REAL" yet.

 

Anyone who immediately makes a new relationship their whole life is just asking for trouble!!

 

In theory that works, but not everyone is wired the same way. The "lust" phase is a very strong phase for emotions, and it's not that easy not to become attached. When rejected in this stage, the emotions and hope are so new and fresh that it hurts just as much if it were to happen down the line. Imo.

[olivec]

People today are much more callous about relationships. Everything has to be perfect and if it isn't then you are jettisoned. No discussions, no effort put in, just on to the next one. It's become all too easy to do.

 

Take heart though. Deep down these people will never find that perfection and they will drive themselves crazy looking for it. You can do far better. Good people still exist out there, it's just a shame you have to wade through all the **** to find them.

 

This last girl i dated made me sit back and look at everything. And i'm come to the conclusion that i'm taking a long break from women i just dont need the drama and the emotional strain that it causes. I'm tired of it all and just dont give a **** anymore.

[suladas]

This is the most brutalizing part for me.

 

Once it's over, they're cold, and it's like you never even existed to them.

 

I know, it's crazy. Mine was only 2 months, somewhat of a friendship for a year prior. It's like night and day difference how they act the second it's over, just seems like a completely different person. I can understand in a few weeks or whatever you don't know them, but in over a year? I don't understand that.

[NGC1300]

sounds like you're pretty damn naive.

 

Inexperienced.

[Push_Through_It]

Agree, short term relationships leave you with so many unanswered questions and wondering which parts were real and which were fake. I'm going through this right now and the difficult part is that I know what MY true feelings are about her but have absolutely no idea what SHE is really thinking.

 

She says things like "I care about you" and "you're such a great person" but that doesnt mean she sees me as a long-term option and if thats the case then better to know now than after investing too much.

 

The problem comes when she tries to keep you around while she's still "figuring things out"....that's what my current ex is doing and its tough to turn a shoulder to somebody that I care so strongly about but that seems like the only way to end things for good.

[NGC1300]

Agree, short term relationships leave you with so many unanswered questions and wondering which parts were real and which were fake. I'm going through this right now and the difficult part is that I know what MY true feelings are about her but have absolutely no idea what SHE is really thinking.

 

She says things like "I care about you" and "you're such a great person" but that doesnt mean she sees me as a long-term option and if thats the case then better to know now than after investing too much.

 

The problem comes when she tries to keep you around while she's still "figuring things out"....that's what my current ex is doing and its tough to turn a shoulder to somebody that I care so strongly about but that seems like the only way to end things for good.

 

This girl was always telling me how much she missed me, and that she "felt safe with me". She said everything short of dropping the "L" word.

 

Then a day later she's cold as ice...see ya later loser.

 

It's just unreal, brutalizing, and makes me believe it was ALL fake.

[Push_Through_It]

..... makes me believe it was ALL fake.

 

 

Maybe like you said I just need to view it as ALL being fake instead of racking my brain trying to figure out which pieces were genuine.