BenH1000 Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi all, I'm in an interesting situation and I really could use some advice. Approximately 2.5 months ago, I joined OKCupid with the intent of playing the field a bit. Little did I know I was going to have 2-3 girls PER DAY sending me messages. I was a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way. I started going out with some of the girls I was talking to just a couple weeks into joining the site. The problem is, I started dating two girls who I really liked, and I'm now going on about 2 months with one and maybe just over a month with the other. Neither of the girls knows about the other. With that said, neither girl has brought up exclusivity nor have they asked me if I'm seeing anyone else. If they asked, I'd tell, but I'm just too nervous to bring it up to them at this point. I feel obligated to end it with one but I am not totally sure how to go about that. One girl and I are essentially "going out" at this point, but I enjoy being with the other one as well. I feel a bit guilty about this and had no intention of hurting anyone, but perhaps I should have been more "up front" from the start about me seeing other people. If anyone has any advice, please let me know.
todreaminblue Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi all, I'm in an interesting situation and I really could use some advice. Approximately 2.5 months ago, I joined OKCupid with the intent of playing the field a bit. Little did I know I was going to have 2-3 girls PER DAY sending me messages. I was a bit overwhelmed, but in a good way. I started going out with some of the girls I was talking to just a couple weeks into joining the site. The problem is, I started dating two girls who I really liked, and I'm now going on about 2 months with one and maybe just over a month with the other. Neither of the girls knows about the other. With that said, neither girl has brought up exclusivity nor have they asked me if I'm seeing anyone else. If they asked, I'd tell, but I'm just too nervous to bring it up to them at this point. I feel obligated to end it with one but I am not totally sure how to go about that. One girl and I are essentially "going out" at this point, but I enjoy being with the other one as well. I feel a bit guilty about this and had no intention of hurting anyone, but perhaps I should have been more "up front" from the start about me seeing other people. If anyone has any advice, please let me know. this is why i think online dating isn't good its a butcher shop where you pick and choose at will slices of meat in reality when you meet someone you like you get to know that one person before you possibly decide that person is or isn't right...when you multiple date you like characteristics of one and then characteristics of another ....and quickly you decide you cant decide so you string them along liking possibly more than two.......eventually you get found out...you end up with no one or you get played yourself....be honest and give the women the rightful choice if they want to be a link in your chain..that's the right thing to do....deb
Author BenH1000 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 this is why i think online dating isn't good its a butcher shop where you pick and choose at will slices of meat in reality when you meet someone you like you get to know that one person before you possibly decide that person is or isn't right...when you multiple date you like characteristics of one and then characteristics of another ....and quickly you decide you cant decide so you string them along liking possibly more than two.......eventually you get found out...you end up with no one or you get played yourself....be honest and give the women the rightful choice if they want to be a link in your chain..that's the right thing to do....deb Hi Deb, Thanks. And no kidding, it's a perfect example of the paradox of choice. When I removed my profile, it was a relief to get away from that site, which really had just proven to be a drug for me. I think I know which girl I want to pursue, but I don't know how to tell the other girl. I feel like I've led her on all this time even though I really do like her. This really sucks.
todreaminblue Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Hi Deb, Thanks. And no kidding, it's a perfect example of the paradox of choice. When I removed my profile, it was a relief to get away from that site, which really had just proven to be a drug for me. I think I know which girl I want to pursue, but I don't know how to tell the other girl. I feel like I've led her on all this time even though I really do like her. This really sucks. If you really like both of them it will be much easier on you to tell them the truth in all reality you may not be the only one they are talking to either.....have they removed their profiles and has one or the other told you that they would like to get to know you.......i have left one profile i have open and i am planning on making it clear i am not up for meetings or dating just messages just on that site no personal email or phone exchange......friendship.....which should make it possible for me to have some real conversations ....i am not free to date ........and i am not going to lead anyone on.. if a guy wants to have a conversation i am up for some smiles and hopefully give some back...i wish you luck with your eventual choice and hope you find happiness.....deb
FitChick Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Tell the girl you like better that you want to be exclusive and see what she says. If she does too, then tell the other one you are getting serious about someone else and want to see where it goes. If neither one of you made any promises, then you shouldn't feel guilty.
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