budley12 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 So my ex and I were each others firsts. We were together for ~3years and things were great. About a year ago he dumped me and things were very sour and I was a wreck. Now after about 10months I am living in a different country and I got a message from him. We have been chatting almost every other day and things were looking up. He is even planning on visiting me abroad! Things seem great, however I asked him if he wanted to live together when I move back to the states. He first gave me two "maybe" answers but now it is a definite no. I am now wondering maybe he is using me to travel? Should I back out and reject the invitation for him to see me while I am abroad? I would still like to reconnect and try again but I am just afraid of getting hurt again. If he was serious about wanting to try and reconnect and try again wouldn't he have liked to move in with me?
geegirl Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Have you both talked about rekindling or are you perceiving his contact to mean an interest to rekindle on his part? Also, what is the need to rush into a relationship with him again and even contemplate moving in as soon as you get back. It's rather difficult to take a stab at it the second go around if you both are managing it from a distance. Why don't you get back, get settled and ease into the possibility? What has he said about reconnecting and trying again?
veggirl Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) Geez from broken up for a year to "wanna live together when I get back" ??? What? You don't think you missed a few steps in between there...? Are you guys even officially back together? Why did you break up, have you actually resolved that? I can't believe you asked to live w/ him when you return. that is so bizarre... Edited November 5, 2012 by veggirl
Author budley12 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 you are both right. I guess I just had this perfect vision that everything would be "back to normal" and we'd live happily ever after. I guess I am jumping the gun a bit. Thanks for grounding me again and making me realize this. We talked about "us" and he said he just wants to be friends but hopes we will get back together after taking things slow. I guess I just feel that if we both want to try it out why not "go for it".
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