Should I give my ex another chance or take a chance on my new guy?

[julissa]

My boyfriend and I were together almost six years. At almost 30, he still lived in his parents basement, was a professional student, lied often, and disrespected me. I stuck around because despite the bad times, he could be really sweet and thoughtful and we really got each other like no one else. We had amazing chemistry and lots of great memories that are hard to let go of.

 

I eventually got sick of the bad though, and left him. I've since met someone else who is everything I've wanted in a man...stable, loving, responsible, wants to move forward and have a future together. NOW my ex is coming around and telling me that he's seeing a counsellor, moving out of his parents house, doing everything I've wanted him to do for the past six years! I have a son from a previous relationship and he talks about my ex all the time, and my ex says he misses my son and I and wants to be back in our lives.

 

I'm having a hard time because I really like my new guy, but it's hard to let go of an attachment to someone after so long together. I miss a lot of the things we shared and think often about the memories we made together. Do you think my ex can really change for the long term or am I better off with my new guy?

[dreamstate83]

My boyfriend and I were together almost six years. At almost 30, he still lived in his parents basement, was a professional student, lied often, and disrespected me. I stuck around because despite the bad times, he could be really sweet and thoughtful and we really got each other like no one else. We had amazing chemistry and lots of great memories that are hard to let go of.

 

I eventually got sick of the bad though, and left him. I've since met someone else who is everything I've wanted in a man...stable, loving, responsible, wants to move forward and have a future together. NOW my ex is coming around and telling me that he's seeing a counsellor, moving out of his parents house, doing everything I've wanted him to do for the past six years! I have a son from a previous relationship and he talks about my ex all the time, and my ex says he misses my son and I and wants to be back in our lives.

 

I'm having a hard time because I really like my new guy, but it's hard to let go of an attachment to someone after so long together. I miss a lot of the things we shared and think often about the memories we made together. Do you think my ex can really change for the long term or am I better off with my new guy?

 

This is something that you will have to decide for yourself. Remember that it's entirely possible that the ex hasn't changed at all and if he has that he will revert back to his old self.

 

Give yourself some breathing room for awhile while you figure it out.

[KatZee]

I have to say that maybe him finding out you've met someone else has kicked his a.ss into overdrive. It could be genuine, or it could be nothing more than a desperate reach to get you back.

 

You've said it that for 6 years he lied often and disrespected you often. I can't imagine that's changed in any way shape or form and I think if you fall for the sob story he'll revert right back to original behavior.

 

If you've met someone new that ticks all your boxes, I say go with that. Fresh foundation, great guy, no drama, no lies, no BS.

 

There's a great quote I like: Don't waste time giving someone a second chance when there is someone better out there waiting for their first.