Kat Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 ...if you found a diamond ring in your boyfriend wallet? Cause I sure as hell don't know
Kat Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by kayz he mayb askin u to marry him We are actually no where near marriage, so it has me a little confused Originally posted by Sundaymorning i would ask him about it! It is out 3yr anniversary next week, so I don't want to ask him about it in case it ruins something. BUT he has already given me a ring for our anniversary a few years ago and the ring isn't even my size, so of course my mind is racing that it is for someone else *sigh* I am broken badly. Originally posted by Fayebelle Did he ask you to go into his wallet? I was putting a picture in his wallet of us that was taken. It wasn't a 'snoop' it was a 'that's a strange shape, look, *uh oh*'
kirkyswife Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Did he ask you to go into his wallet? LOL Faye you beat me to it. I was wondering the same thing. I was putting a picture in his wallet of us that was taken. It wasn't a 'snoop' it was a 'that's a strange shape, look, *uh oh*' Again - why didn't you give HIM the photo to put in his wallet? Sounds fishy. Sounds to me like maybe you might have been doing a little snoopy snooping. You have two choices - you can either put it in the back of your mind and forget it about it OR you can ask him and possibly ruin a surprise. What are you going to do?
Kat Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by kirkyswife Again - why didn't you give HIM the photo to put in his wallet? Sounds fishy. Sounds to me like maybe you might have been doing a little snoopy snooping. Well we don't hide anything from each other, so while it looks like I was 'snooping' I wasn't and I don't. You have two choices - you can either put it in the back of your mind and forget it about it OR you can ask him and possibly ruin a surprise. What are you going to do? Well I am considering that since me asking him is only taking my concerns into account and only for my benefit that I will wait until after our anniversary and ask him who's it is then. It may look like I am a snooper, emails and now wallet, but I can assure you that both times I wasn't looking for what I found. I only ever post here about us when we are going through a 'bump' so I can see how you only think our relationship is broken, or at least I am a little to which I am...a little
HokeyReligions Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 "The Accidental Snoopist" Pretend you never saw it. Do you have any reason to suspect that he may be cheating on you? Perhaps he is holding the ring for someone else? Does he have a sister or mother or another female in the family to whom the ring might belong? There could be a zillion reasons why he has a ring in his wallet. Was he aware that you were putting a photo in his wallet? If he was then he knew you might see the ring. If the picture was a surprise, well----has he noticed the picture yet? He may ask you what else you were doing in his wallet and then you can ask him about the ring.
CurlyIam Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Me and my bf are very opened about it. As a matter of fact, when we go out, he gives me his wallet and car keys to put in my purse... I am trying to say that I don't think you were snooping. It can happen, it's about how the boundries are set in every relationship. You finding the ring there: I am all for asking. There may be lots of explinations - him keeping the ring for a friend, for someone close, etc... You trust him, if there are no other doubts or signs, why worry? Listen to your instincts, keep your eyes opened and most importantly, be honest to him and to yourself. Good luck, Curly
FolderWife Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 You goof! Why don't you just ask him! It's probably his mom's or something Her fingers might've swollen while she was driving, or something, so she gave it to him, and he put it in his wallet so he wouldn't lose it, and forgot to give it back to her Or maybe it's an ex gf's? Maybe he's going to see if you want it...my hubby offered me his ex-fiance's engagement ring, and I was like, "HECK YEAH!" I'm a diamond lover Who CARES if it belonged to someone before me....as long as I get my own when he asks for my hand
Kat Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Originally posted by HokeyReligions Pretend you never saw it. Do you have any reason to suspect that he may be cheating on you? No, no and no. But that doesn't stop my evil gremlin from whispering in my ear Perhaps he is holding the ring for someone else? Does he have a sister or mother or another female in the family to whom the ring might belong? It is brand new. There could be a zillion reasons why he has a ring in his wallet. Was he aware that you were putting a photo in his wallet? If he was then he knew you might see the ring. If the picture was a surprise, well----has he noticed the picture yet? He may ask you what else you were doing in his wallet and then you can ask him about the ring. The picture didn't fit, so I didn't end up putting it in....now it looks even more suss doesn't it! Originally posted by CurlyIam You finding the ring there: I am all for asking. There may be lots of explinations - him keeping the ring for a friend, for someone close, etc... You trust him, if there are no other doubts or signs, why worry? Listen to your instincts, keep your eyes opened and most importantly, be honest to him and to yourself. Good luck, Curly Thanks curly. Originally posted by Monday You goof! Why don't you just ask him! It's probably his mom's or something Her fingers might've swollen while she was driving, or something, so she gave it to him, and he put it in his wallet so he wouldn't lose it, and forgot to give it back to her I was considering that but it is a brand new shiny ring. Or maybe it's an ex gf's? Maybe he's going to see if you want it...my hubby offered me his ex-fiance's engagement ring, and I was like, "HECK YEAH!" I'm a diamond lover Who CARES if it belonged to someone before me....as long as I get my own when he asks for my hand He never asked his ex to marry him, nor gave her any jewellery. If he had, I think i would have found it by now It is gold, I am a silver person, and it looks tiny, I have big fingers. I want to ask but I feel as if I would crush him if it was actually for me. I seriously pray that he has no plans on asking me to marry him (and deep down I know he doesn't) because neither of us are ready and we have spoken in length about this. All roads lead to 'not for me' so my mind is playing tricks on me and I feel really paranoid.
Anais Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 I wouldn’t worry Kat. It is not logical that the ring is for someone else. There can be hundred explanations. Don’t try to analyze it. I would just ask him. As sooner you ask as easier and better you will feel. Even if it is going to a surprise for you, will need later to pretend not seeing it that can be hard. I would go easy and say Darling I am sorry but I have seen the ring accidentally…Hope he won’t be mad. My husband goes to my purse and I look in his wallet. No problem here. Good luck, I hope it will work out fine for you. P. S. About finding things accidentally: Don’t forget about women intuition. I had never searched any of my partners’ belongings. But there was one day my ex husband, that time boyfriend yet, left his college papers in my room. He always did it, I never opened them. But that day he went out for few minutes. He was the jealous one in our relationship. I had no doubts, nothing. Some nervous feeling moved me to his papers and I open one of his notebooks, just one page! There was a flirt conversation with a girl from his class written in the middle pages of that notebook, among lecture notes during the class. Not to be too long. I had strong reasons to trust him. We were kids, and have been laughing about it lot later. But amazing thing is that I have no idea why I went just that day opened just that notebook out of 5! And opened exactly that page! I searched the rest too later, nothing. It took me one second to get the idea to open one more second to find it!
Samee074 Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Either way it goes the damage is done and your mind is racing... if you ask him he may get upset especially if he is planning on asking you to marry him! Or he will accuse you of snooping! So I say ride it out til your anniversary and see what happens ... if he doesn't ask ya then you might want to ask cuz it will drive ya crazy til you know but remember wait til after the anniversary!! Cuz any man that is gonna surprise his G/F with something like that deserves to do just that cuz not many men are that romantic these days!!! And I know you said you guys are no where close to marriage ... you could always have a long engagement!!!! So keep that in mind! Good Luck and Best Wishes!!
Kat Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by Samee074 Either way it goes the damage is done and your mind is racing... if you ask him he may get upset especially if he is planning on asking you to marry him! We had a conversation not a week ago about how neither of us want to get married. I made it clear that I don't want to get married now, I mean I don't have anyone to be in my bridal party , but I don't want to wait until we have nothing left to do BUT get married. We have also spoken in length about the colour of the ring. White gold or platnium is what the rings will be. This ring is gold. Or he will accuse you of snooping! He won't, he knows I have a good heart if he doesn't ask ya then you might want to ask cuz it will drive ya crazy til you know but remember wait til after the anniversary!! It is over a week away Cuz any man that is gonna surprise his G/F with something like that deserves to do just that cuz not many men are that romantic these days!!! 80% of the time I always end up finding out about the gift before hand, be it other people let it slip, or he gives too many clues, or something else. It has never been from em 'snooping' before. At the end of the day I see it like this. He gave me a ring for an anniversary and it was gold, he knows I am not a gold person and said he tried to look for a silver ring but couldn't with the rocks he wanted. We have dioscussed in length that wedding bands and engagement ring will be white gold or platnium. It is a small ring, I don't have small fingers. It isn't in a box. Therefore it can't possibly be for me but I would feel selfish for asking about it, because if it ends up for me, I may come out sounding like a materalistic bitch.
Anais Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by Kat Therefore it can't possibly be for me but I would feel selfish for asking about it, because if it ends up for me, I may come out sounding like a materalistic bitch. No you won't. It depends how you ask. If you start yelling hey what is going on...then yes! But if you say I am maybe ruining a surprise but I have seen and now want to know...I would do it otherwise I would die from eating myself...[don't know if you say like that in English direct translation] .Maybe you are stronger than me. But I usually feel ease when I ask.
Kat Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 I suppose I just don't want to look like an idiot by making out that i thought it was for me and him go 'Pfft as if it was for you' (which i know he won't but... ) And yes I always feel better when i ask, I just don't want to upset him.
Anais Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by Kat And yes I always feel better when i ask, I just don't want to upset him. I know how you feel. Sorry you are going through it. And it is most likely for nothing. Maybe he found it, LOL, someone else gave it to hold, he got a good deal so bought it, he has mistaken the size, you said you use the same account. Is there some money missing?
Kat Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 We don't have joint accounts. We borrow money off each other because we pretty much have the 'my money is your money' policy, however we still retain our independance. I haven't seen any money dissapear and I am 100% certian it has nothing to do with marriage, I don't know what to think Well we shall see how the universe works this one out
Kat Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Well I ended up asking. It took about 20mins of him going 'Come on, whats going on'. It was rather sad, reminded me of highschool and asking someone out. The ring isn't even from him He was 'hiding it' as a present to me from someone else. It isn't for a special occasion, but it is an engagement ring. For 20mins after I asked him I constantly got 'What's the moral of the story? ASK' over and over again. Isn't it amazing the stories we tell ourselves I was estatic to know that he hasn't even planned anything for our anniversary and he hasn't bought anything. YAY! Isn't that strange
honey2005 Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Lol, I'm glad you found out, I know it must have been hard wondering for so long:p. But now you know and you can finally be at ease .
Anais Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Cool. Asking is helpful sometimes. Originally posted by Kat The ring isn't even from him He was 'hiding it' as a present to me from someone else. It isn't for a special occasion, but it is an engagement ring. I thought it is not your size. Are you going to be engaged with someone else? I cannot understand this sentence.
Kat Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Originally posted by Anais Cool. Asking is helpful sometimes. I thought it is not your size. Are you going to be engaged with someone else? I cannot understand this sentence. It isn't my size. It is a gift from my future step mother. It is her old engagement ring and she is getting the wedding ring reset for me. Apparently she knew I would say no to the gifts so she gave one for my partner to look after until she gives me the other one. She gathers I can't refuse the gift from him, so she will give me one and have him slip me the other. She doesn't want the memories, but she doesn't want to 'profit' from them, so she is giving them to me to 'do what i want with'. So it is an engagement ring, but it is basically a family 'heirloom'. Make sense?
Anais Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Originally posted by Kat It is a gift from my future step mother. It is her old engagement ring and she is getting the wedding So it is an engagement ring, but it is basically a family 'heirloom'. Make sense? Yep, a bit, you said it was like a new one.? Anyway, I am glad it worked out fine. Maybe he will get the idea now to plan something for the anniversary too.
honey2005 Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 Aww, I think it's really sweet of your future step mother to give it to you:)
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