carhill Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I have had some really high points like making new friends (and getting close to old ones) and doing stuff I have never done I'm proud of that and I want to continue but I'm still just really afraid about how everything will workout in the future. I worry a lot, everyone tells me that. When I was your age, it would be another decade before I'd have a 'regular' girlfriend and, even at my relatively advanced age now, I can remember all the great life experiences of youth. Life was such an adventure back then; few responsibilities and a world of potentials to explore. Lots of 'preparation'. College, a burgeoning passion for work, risks of going into business, friends, parties, travel, etc. etc. All along that, I had wanted to be married and have the marriage my parents had but understood that my life wasn't their life. We each have our own path. Were there moments and periods of frustration and sadness? Did I make mistakes? Yep, absolutely. That's all part of the 'preparation' process, learning from one's lacks and failures. Hopefully, what will 'work out' in the future is that you'll enjoy a long and fruitful life and, when you come to the end of it, will look back and smile and reflect that it was one helluva ride. That 'ride' is as unique as each of us. Your vision, purpose and reflection is your life journey. 1
somedude81 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 ImperfectionisBeauty, You are young and hot. The only thing holding you back from having the relationship you want, is you. The first thing you need to do is think about what you actually want.
sweetjasmine Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I might be overgeneralizing but it honestly seems like everyone on this site has relationship issues, people who want relationships and can't find them, people in crappy relationships, people who have never had a relationship etc... Is this the world now? It's so many people having a hard time dating, I don't want to be like this! Does this website really represent the population? Like I've said before on here, this is like going to a hospital and asking why everyone there is sick. People who are in happy relationships don't seek out forums to talk about how awesome everything is. Some people in happy relationships stick around to chat or help others, but those who come here are the ones who are looking for some kind of support or some answers. No one on here is married with kids and not like over 35. Or in legit long term relationships at 25 it makes me feel like I have no life hope. I'm 26 and just got married. There are some of us here who meet those criteria.
january2011 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 LS is a window into people's lives. It's useful for those who don't have much relationship experience to learn from the triumphs and mistakes of others. There are a number of people, who tend to post outside of the Dating forum, who are on LS because they don't have any specific relationship problems per se, but have made friends here and enjoy "hanging out" and chatting about anything and everything. The Dating forum is the most popular section of LS but it is not the whole of LS. If you only read and post in the Dating section, you are missing out, in my opinion. Edit: I'm in my late 30s, in an LTR (long-distance). And at 25, I was in the second year of an LTR that would last for 10+ years.
SmileFace Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Stop watching so much movies. When has dating, love and relationships ever been a walk in the park?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Stop watching so much movies. When has dating, love and relationships ever been a walk in the park? For some it's like a climb up Everest, during a snowstorm, without oxygen, on a broken leg... 3
suladas Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I came here after a break up, was never looking for this site during the relationship, wouldn't make sense. The funny thing is a lot of times I wish I never had the relationship, life was much simpler before it. Sure it was nice to have sex and everything but I was fairly content with my life beforehand working on my way to a good career having my own house etc. sure I wanted a relationship a bit but you don't miss what you don't know. After the relationship ended I've been messed up since and not content going back to how things were. I mean I'm 23 it could of waited a few years and not mattered that much. I mean I want marriage and kids one day but no rush here. Just want a good relationship right now. 1
mysteryscape Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 OP, I've been in this world longer than most posters here, I suspect. And I really do think it's harder now than when I was starting out. Not just for older people who may be getting back into circulation after becoming divorced or widowed, but for the young people too. Older people carry so much baggage, it's like Denver Airport when the baggage system breaks down, as they say. Try to marry well and stay well married when you're young, is my advice. 1
DC4 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I am 33 and I date lots of handsome, accomplished men. Having the time of my life not strapped at home with screaming kids and a fat, lazy husband who doesn't take me out anymore. I've got about 3 dudes on rotation right now. If you think dating slows down over 30 you're sorely mistaken. I'm over 40 but only have two on rotation so maybe it slows a little
mysteryscape Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 So you have 3 dudes on rotation? Do these guys know their status? Are you being rotated too? Personally, I could not take anything seriously if I was on "rotation." But different strokes for different folks, as the old song goes. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I haven't found anyone worth getting serious with so yeah, I date more than one person at a time. That's what dating is. I don't know if I'm on rotation - maybe? Don't really care. Just because I don't want a serious relationship with any of these guys doesn't mean I don't enjoy the company of men and going on dates. Maybe rotation sounds bad. I'm not "exclusive" with anyone.
mysteryscape Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 means completely different things to different people -- some say two people in an intense exclusive relationship are "dating" -- to others it's as you do. Certainly when I was younger "dating" did not necessarily mean "not serious non-exclusive." But there was also "casual dating." The definition of which has changed a lot, from "innocent playing the field" to also include "casual sex with multiple partners." I'm curious -- do you consider these relationships to be "romantic" in any way? Is there every any jealousy on your part or theirs? Are these guys sex partners or just friends or perhaps something in between? Of course, there is always the FWB or FsWB scenario).
suladas Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 So you have 3 dudes on rotation? Do these guys know their status? Are you being rotated too? Personally, I could not take anything seriously if I was on "rotation." But different strokes for different folks, as the old song goes. Me to. I couldn't be with someone who was banging someone else the next night, or even just going on a date and kissing, no way. I don't understand how a lot of people "Date".
mysteryscape Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 You really seem to want a husband and family. Don't listen to all the negativity about "breeding" etc just do what you really want with your life. You don't have to wait until you're 30 or 35 to marry and try to have kids. You are right about declining fertility and egg quality, though it's not quite as fast as you may think -- I wouldn't start to worry until about age 25, 27. In the meantime hope you find someone good. Don't worry about finding an "ideal situation" for having a family, believe me, there's no such thing, every family has lots of problems, however well hidden. Do you have any kind of plan or program for meeting a good guy to marry? I hope so because I know very well that it's tough. Good luck to you!
Drseussgrrl Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Well multi-dating is always a hot-topic here on LS. Basically my sitch boils down to this (with the apology for the thread hijack): There is one guy I hooked up with about a week and a half ago. At first I simply thought it was a casual thing. Met randomly through friends (I have a thread about it actually), got a little tipsy, made out a bit, and we've had sex since then (which was actually pretty amazing). We're going out on a "proper" date that he asked me out on tomorrow night, so I guess there's potential there beyond just a fling. We have a lot of fun together and he's been in constant communication. Another guy I met months ago kind of popped up again randomly and we had a proper date where I didn't feel a whole lot of spark, but I'll probably go out with him again just to make sure. Quite frankly I've been a bit flakey with him since getting physical with dude #1, though. Dude number three I met in NYC a few weeks ago when I was visiting friends. He's super hot, and is down in DC quite a bit since he's from here and still has loads of friends and family in the area. We talk quite a bit and I like him. I am also in New York a lot for work and to play. He'll be here the week of Thanksgiving and I plan to see him again then. So, I have some prospects. I don't sleep with more than one person at a time, however. I'm monogamous in that regard. Basically I'm just waiting to see what, if anything, shakes out, and figuring out if I even want it to. I'm not a jealous person by nature. If any of the guys were to ask if I'm seeing anyone else, I'd be honest. I fully expect that I'm not the only girl they're talking to, either. From there it's up to them how they want to proceed but until/unless a specific conversation is had about being exclusive, it's understood that you're a free agent and are free to do as you like. Basically it's a numbers game. Also - "exclusive" doesn't necessarily mean boyfriend/girlfriend either. That's a whole other convo. LOL
Drseussgrrl Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 For the record I think it's completely ok to want marriage and a family. Where I get concerned with the OP is that it seems to define her every waking moment. In other threads she has said she feels pretty worthless if she doesn't even have a guy texting her for a few weeks. In the pregnancy thread she claims that having a baby will make her feel "complete" and is asking about freezing her eggs. That just isn't the right mindset to have for a 21 year old finishing college.
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