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It seems like everyone on this forum has dating issues..?

ImperfectionisBeauty

By ImperfectionisBeauty
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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I might be overgeneralizing but it honestly seems like everyone on this site has relationship issues, people who want relationships and can't find them, people in crappy relationships, people who have never had a relationship etc... Is this the world now? It's so many people having a hard time dating, I don't want to be like this! Does this website really represent the population? I have seen so many post about people online dating and failing at that and its so sad. I'm kind of youngish I guess but a lot of older people are having these issues. I just don't want real life to be like this I guess I am not in real life yet where I work or anything I just do school and study and party every now and then, I am counting on meeting the love of my life when I get a real job but it seems that didn't work for a lot of people here, I just makes me feel hopeless because I don't want to be all oldish and single. Three weeks of not talking to anyone is like the death of me.

Eternal Sunshine Established Member

Eternal Sunshine

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We are just all very f-ed up. Me in particular :bunny:

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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We are just all very f-ed up. Me in particular :bunny:

 

Join the club

CarrieT Established Member

CarrieT

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I might be overgeneralizing but it honestly seems like everyone on this site has relationship issues

Many of us came here with relationship issues but are now in positive and healthy relationships. Some of us have stuck around to help those who are going through the same thing we did and to help those from making the same mistakes we have.

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mammasita Established Member

mammasita

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I doubt it. I found this site when I went searching for answers to my relationship "issues" and Im sure many if not all of the others here stumbled upon this site in the same way.

 

People who are in happy, healthy relationships dont generally do searches for "how to get over cheating" or "Im in an abusive relationship" or "my husband left me".

 

Don't lose hope, because Im an old(er) lol woman and I haven't lost hope....yet ;)

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amaysngrace Established Member

amaysngrace

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I don't think LS represents real life at all.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Many of us came here with relationship issues but are now in positive and healthy relationships. Some of us have stuck around to help those who are going through the same thing we did and to help those from making the same mistakes we have.

 

No I can totally understand and appreciate that but I need to know there is hope out there because it looks a little bleakish.. No one on here is married with kids and not like over 35. Or in legit long term relationships at 25 it makes me feel like I have no life hope.

Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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People who are in happy, healthy relationships dont generally do searches for "how to get over cheating" or "Im in an abusive relationship" or "my husband left me".

 

Exactly. Someone said it elsewhere on here, but happy couples aren't going to search online for a message board to go on and tell everyone that they are happy.

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Pyro Established Member

Pyro

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No I can totally understand and appreciate that but I need to know there is hope out there because it looks a little bleakish.. No one on here is married with kids and not like over 35. Or in legit long term relationships at 25 it makes me feel like I have no life hope.

 

No one here?:confused:

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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No one here?:confused:

 

Ok I haven't raked to every single person here but I haven't seen a lot of people my age with kids and husbands or even 25-28 with husbands and kids... I need tips on how to get there so I have to meet those people

EasyHeart Established Member

EasyHeart

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well, this is a forum for people with dating problems, so it would be kind of odd if people who posted here didn't have dating issues.

 

Do you think it would be odd to visit a forum about football and find that all of the posters are football fans?

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sweetkiwi Established Member

sweetkiwi

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life is strange and there are no set ways to find the love of your life. Just don't give up and don't get jaded.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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I'm kind of youngish I guess but a lot of older people are having these issues.

 

I'm 24. I feel much older, but I'm only 24. It isn't just "old" people who have issues.

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Mrlonelyone Established Member

Mrlonelyone

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I'll tell you how ****ed up I am. I think I come here to express through giving advice to others a side of myself which is hard to express in real life.

 

If you could see the horrified and self hating reactions I get when people realize the might actually like me. At least I am not on this list this year (Memorializing – 2012 | Transgender Day of Remembrance)

carhill Established Member

carhill

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Even a happy dating/relationship/married life has 'issues' occasionally. LoveShack provides a venue to share and discuss them, along with the happiness about such dynamics, in general and specifically. IMO, we're all selective about what they read. We choose. I chose to read this thread and offer an opinion.

 

No dating issues here. Happily divorced and alone. I started looking for my retirement mountain cabin yesterday. Life is good. :)

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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I'm 24. I feel much older, but I'm only 24. It isn't just "old" people who have issues.

 

I'm 21, I feel like at 21 I should not be having these issues, dating should be easy for me it shouldn't be this complicated. I should be easily finding guys, I should be easily dating! I don't want to be one of those people who is like 30 on here like "omg I went on a billion and 5 dates from dating websites and still can't find anyone". Honestly I give myself 4 more years of dating and then after 25 it is time to just settle for whatever I get.

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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I'm 21, I feel like at 21 I should not be having these issues, dating should be easy for me it shouldn't be this complicated. I should be easily finding guys, I should be easily dating! I don't want to be one of those people who is like 30 on here like "omg I went on a billion and 5 dates from dating websites and still can't find anyone". Honestly I give myself 4 more years of dating and then after 25 it is time to just settle for whatever I get.

 

If that happened, count yourself as fortunate. I've been doing online dating for almost 3 years. I've been on 2 dates total, both with the same girl (in February 2011) who after agreeing to a third date completely disappeared. I wish it were a matter of going on a bunch of lousy dates.

 

Of course, I also have oneitis for someone thousands of miles away in another country. Who didn't even feel the same about me in the first place, despite leading me on...

Edited by fortyninethousand322
Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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Seriously? You're going to hang it up at 25?? Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Look at beautiful women all around you who are over 30 and not married.

 

Your desperation is likely what is scaring men off. If you can't be happy on your own you certainly won't be able to make anyone else happy.

 

I am 33 and I date lots of handsome, accomplished men. Having the time of my life not strapped at home with screaming kids and a fat, lazy husband who doesn't take me out anymore.

 

I've got about 3 dudes on rotation right now. If you think dating slows down over 30 you're sorely mistaken.

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fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

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Your desperation is likely what is scaring men off. If you can't be happy on your own you certainly won't be able to make anyone else happy.

 

It scares off "high quality" guys. Someone like me wouldn't be turned off by a girl's desperation. Unless I thought it was some kind of come on...

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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If that happened, count yourself as fortunate. I've been doing online dating for almost 3 years. I've been on 2 dates total, both with the same girl (in February 2011) who after agreeing to a third date completely disappeared. I wish it were a matter of going on a bunch of lousy dates.

 

Of course, I also have oneitis for someone thousands of miles away in another country. Who didn't even feel the same about me in the first place, despite leading me on...

 

I did the whole LDR thing for a year and a half, and I thought that I was gonna be with him forever! He was in Louisiana I was here and I was going to move there after graduation and be with him. It didn't work out, we ended it because neither of us was trying hard to close the gap and I just wanted to be with someone I could actually touch and cuddle and be with.

xdahliax Established Member

xdahliax

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I actually seem to use this website more when I'm about to go on a date or when I have prospects. The last thing I want to do is read about the dating lives of others when I have none. So I guess that, for me, being here is a positive thing.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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Seriously? You're going to hang it up at 25?? Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Look at beautiful women all around you who are over 30 and not married.

 

Your desperation is likely what is scaring men off. If you can't be happy on your own you certainly won't be able to make anyone else happy.

 

I am 33 and I date lots of handsome, accomplished men. Having the time of my life not strapped at home with screaming kids and a fat, lazy husband who doesn't take me out anymore.

 

I've got about 3 dudes on rotation right now. If you think dating slows down over 30 you're sorely mistaken.

 

The thing is you seem really career driven and like one of those cool Sex and the City types (I love SATC so please don't be offended), as much as I try to care about having this super awesome career and being a SATC type of woman, I just think "God I need to graduate soon so I can move to some Southern state and meet a cute country boy to marry and have babies with IMMEDIATELY". I care about a career but I care more about my fertility and how it is decreasing everyday as I get older and older. Doesn't it worry you? I mean I don't want to scare you (in case you didn't know), or offend you because 33 isn't old at all, but after 30 your fertility and egg quality REALLY start decreasing. It isn't impossible to get pregnant but it isn't as easy either. I guess having a baby is just super important to me, probably more than getting married (even though I want both and hopefully marriage first). I just feel like once I am 30 I need to be really thinking about what I am going to do as far as a man and baby if I don't have them, am I going to just settle for doing AI and being a single mom? Will I just hold off and pray that it happens for me? Will I even be able to get pregnant? What if I wait until 30 only to find out I have to do all kinds of fertility treatments? Would they do that on a single woman? What if I have to adopt? Single women can't adopt? So I need to be considering all of my options now so I can be prepared, if I have to save up to do fertility treatments? I have to do things now to ensure I stay decently fertile. Maybe I don't need to worry now at 21 but I will be 22 at the end of the year and it is only 8 years away and that is not long at all.

carhill Established Member

carhill

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OP, IMO, 21 is a time for casual relationships, exploring life, solidifying one's career goals and passions and, in general, 'growing up'. Dating can be a part of that process but not a be-all/end-all of it. Do what you do. Life will present you opportunities. How you've prepared for them will determine your success. If having a relationship is a 'success' you wish to achieve in life, then spend this time preparing for being a healthy relationship partner. It doesn't have to come tomorrow. I understand, in this 'instant' world today, it's easy and seems 'normal' to want everything 'now', but life, if you're lucky, is billions of moments, each one a gift. Enjoy them all.

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ImperfectionisBeauty Established Member

ImperfectionisBeauty

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OP, IMO, 21 is a time for casual relationships, exploring life, solidifying one's career goals and passions and, in general, 'growing up'. Dating can be a part of that process but not a be-all/end-all of it. Do what you do. Life will present you opportunities. How you've prepared for them will determine your success. If having a relationship is a 'success' you wish to achieve in life, then spend this time preparing for being a healthy relationship partner. It doesn't have to come tomorrow. I understand, in this 'instant' world today, it's easy and seems 'normal' to want everything 'now', but life, if you're lucky, is billions of moments, each one a gift. Enjoy them all.

 

:) I like that. I feel like I don't remember anything up until now, like I don't remember having any super good times I remember every single bad thing that happened to me but I have no distinct happy memories from college other than a few parties and I remember the fun of them but I also remember how insecure I was at them, how I drank because I wanted guys to want me stuff like that. I am kind of happy that even though it is my senior year and I kind of wasted 3 being sad and miserable etc I have had some really high points like making new friends (and getting close to old ones) and doing stuff I have never done I'm proud of that and I want to continue but I'm still just really afraid about how everything will workout in the future. I worry a lot, everyone tells me that.

Drseussgrrl Established Member

Drseussgrrl

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I'm def not a sex and the city type LOL. Yes I have a career, but it's not what drives me. My life is full of friends, family and activities that keep me busy and fulfilled.

 

I really think you need to stop worrying so much. It is VERY common nowadays for women to have kids over 30.

 

First and foremost I want to be happy and not have a baby just because I think that's what I should be doing. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and well, my dad's a real butthole and if and when I do procreate I want it to be with a man who will be an amazing father. You really should think about that above all else. Bringing kids into a less than ideal sitch really isn't doing THEM any favors, is it? Cultivating yourself into a mature woman with goals outside of simply breeding is what ultimately will make you a wonderful mother who sets a good example for her kids.

 

For the record, I had a baby at 20 and gave him up for adoption. I was broke, in college, and the father had just gone back to his ex girlfriend. I knew he deserved better than that so he's with a family know who provides him everything that I couldn't at the time and I have no regrets.

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