beautyxo Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I've been "talking to" this guy for four years. I can't say dating because we kind of aren't. He lives a few hours drive from me and we can only see each other once a month. When we do see each other, I stay over and it is intimate. We do not see other people. He doesn't talk to girls. I don't talk to guys. For sure. He is very loyal to me. But I've been having doubts after a recent discussion regarding our future. We aren't the same religion which isn't a big deal to me. However, due to his religious beliefs he would never be able to marry outside of it. He won't even be able to introduce me to his family and friends. So, that means he would never marry me. I knew this but after talking about it, it made me realize that we have no future. I know that it's premature and I should be enjoying our time together, but how can I? It's not like we see each other regularly and are just enjoying our time. We're committed to each other and trying to make it work out. But for what? What angers me is that he always says things like "I'm not leaving you" "We'll make this work out" "Why do you say this is temporary?" "We'll stop talking when we BOTH decide to". I just don't get it. Why talk to me, be committed to me, not date anyone else, not even be able to see me most of the time, when there is no if ands or buts about it. He told me flat out he will never ever marry me. And when I mention that this isn't serious and we'll have to move on so why are we doing this, he gets super defense and says "we decide that, it doesn't have to be that way". And then other times he'll say "lets worry about it when it comes to it". I just don't get it. Please give me some insight on this.
mammasita Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Some people base who they will spend their lives with on religion. Are you willing to convert to/adopt his religion? Do you want to be with him enough to do that? Do you exchange "I love you"?
Author beautyxo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Some people base who they will spend their lives with on religion. Are you willing to convert to/adopt his religion? Do you want to be with him enough to do that? Do you exchange "I love you"? It doesn't matter if I convert. I can't regardless since I wouldn't be a "true believer". He wouldn't be able to as I was not raised as such.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 If he refuses to marry you, introduce you to his friends and his family...even if you did convert to his religion...then how will you two ever progress to anything more than just a long distance relationship with a meeting once a month? Is that what you want for the rest of your life? <=== slightly dramatic, but you have to think about what will make you happy. If you want marriage, he will never give it to you, so are you willing to settle? He is obviously happy with your arrangement, but you aren't, so you have to do some thinking and make some decisions.
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