silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Me and my girlfriend have fallen out after an argument. We are now in the "not speaking stage" as i think neither of us want to say sorry. The argument started yesturday i text her mid iafternoon asking if she wanted to come round at 7:30pm. She didnt get back to me untill 6:40 to say ok at which time i wasnt sure if she was going to get back to me so i agreed to go out with my flat mate. I wasnt going to be too long though so i told her i didnt kniw if she was coming and i had gone out but i would be back by 8pm if she wanted to come then. She text me saying "how about we just leave it" i know immediately she isnt happy but i ask and she says shes fine. I told her i could tell she was annoyed but id be back by 8 if she changes her mind otherwise ill see her tomorrow. She said why would i be annoyed (at this point i could feel the argument coming) so i said never mind. She just said "not answering me then, great". And then we had an argument about it over text which i hate doing. In the end i said next time she should get back to me sooner and there was nothing else to say. She text back saying yes there is but i just ignored it and we havnt spoken since. I dont think ive done anything wrong. But im guessing neither does she so what do i do?
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 It looks like you guys were trying to antagonize each other and start a fight. Her: Okay, I'll be there in an hour. You: Sorry, I just stepped out, but I can meet you in an hour and a half. Her: Fine, whatever, never mind. [antagonizing] You: Are you okay? Her: Yes, I'm fine. [evasive] You: I can tell you're annoyed. [antagonizing] Her: Why would I be annoyed? [antagonizing] You: Never mind. [evasive] Her: Not answering me, great. [antagonizing] Argument ensues. ------------ You guys are terrible at communicating. You both need to change how you express yourselves, which requires effort from both of you, or it's not going to work.
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Ok...so what do i do next? How do i solve this? And next time something like this happens what do i do instead?
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Ok...so what do i do next? How do i solve this? Talk to her about it. "I've been thinking about our fight yesterday and I'm concerned because what should have been a minor issue turned into us not speaking to each other. How can we avoid this in the future?" And next time something like this happens what do i do instead? First, just take a break before getting into a stupid argument or saying something you'll regret. If things start to get unreasonably heated, just say, "I'm going to take a few minutes to compose myself. I'll get back to you in a second." Cool off, sort your thoughts, encourage her to do the same, then try to resolve it as amicably as possible. 1
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Ok thanks, i will leave things until tonight when she finishes work and ill talk to her. Ill open with what you quoted above and see how it goes 1
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 I forgot to ask, but what if when i talk to her later she is still argumentative? How do i talk to her then or what do i do?
tangled Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know man... my boyfriends not talking to me after an argument, and I have no idea what to do. He's not responding to any messages and his phone is off, so no calls. I hope everything works out for your man, since I'm posting too late to give you any advice.
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