silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Me and my girlfriend have fallen out after an argument. We are now in the "not speaking stage" as i think neither of us want to say sorry. The argument started yesturday i text her mid iafternoon asking if she wanted to come round at 7:30pm. She didnt get back to me untill 6:40 to say ok at which time i wasnt sure if she was going to get back to me so i agreed to go out with my flat mate. I wasnt going to be too long though so i told her i didnt kniw if she was coming and i had gone out but i would be back by 8pm if she wanted to come then. She text me saying "how about we just leave it" i know immediately she isnt happy but i ask and she says shes fine. I told her i could tell she was annoyed but id be back by 8 if she changes her mind otherwise ill see her tomorrow. She said why would i be annoyed (at this point i could feel the argument coming) so i said never mind. She just said "not answering me then, great". And then we had an argument about it over text which i hate doing. In the end i said next time she should get back to me sooner and there was nothing else to say. She text back saying yes there is but i just ignored it and we havnt spoken since. I dont think ive done anything wrong. But im guessing neither does she so what do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 It looks like you guys were trying to antagonize each other and start a fight. Her: Okay, I'll be there in an hour. You: Sorry, I just stepped out, but I can meet you in an hour and a half. Her: Fine, whatever, never mind. [antagonizing] You: Are you okay? Her: Yes, I'm fine. [evasive] You: I can tell you're annoyed. [antagonizing] Her: Why would I be annoyed? [antagonizing] You: Never mind. [evasive] Her: Not answering me, great. [antagonizing] Argument ensues. ------------ You guys are terrible at communicating. You both need to change how you express yourselves, which requires effort from both of you, or it's not going to work. Link to post Share on other sites
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 Ok...so what do i do next? How do i solve this? And next time something like this happens what do i do instead? Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Share Posted November 5, 2012 Ok...so what do i do next? How do i solve this? Talk to her about it. "I've been thinking about our fight yesterday and I'm concerned because what should have been a minor issue turned into us not speaking to each other. How can we avoid this in the future?" And next time something like this happens what do i do instead? First, just take a break before getting into a stupid argument or saying something you'll regret. If things start to get unreasonably heated, just say, "I'm going to take a few minutes to compose myself. I'll get back to you in a second." Cool off, sort your thoughts, encourage her to do the same, then try to resolve it as amicably as possible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 Ok thanks, i will leave things until tonight when she finishes work and ill talk to her. Ill open with what you quoted above and see how it goes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author silicis n volvo Posted November 5, 2012 Author Share Posted November 5, 2012 I forgot to ask, but what if when i talk to her later she is still argumentative? How do i talk to her then or what do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
tangled Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 I don't know man... my boyfriends not talking to me after an argument, and I have no idea what to do. He's not responding to any messages and his phone is off, so no calls. I hope everything works out for your man, since I'm posting too late to give you any advice. Link to post Share on other sites
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