jimzaki Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 So, i met this girl online, we chated for awhile we went on our first date Friday. now the date went great, at the end i asked if were gonna see each other again? she said yes then she asked twice if i'm gonna text her when i'm free. now in my book that's a damn good sign, so i texted her saturday. here's how it went: me: hey *name*! its *name*! So I'd like to eat-out at a restaurant some time this week or the week-end, If I'm free, and it was really fun talking with you, Friday, so would you like to come with me? I can call you later if you want? her:i'm a little busy for the next little while, but i can let you know as soon as i have some free time? me: ok i'm pretty flexible is there like a day in particular? her: not right now :\ are you okay with a couple of weeks? me:sure but by a couple of weeks you mean? her: i don't have free time for a few weeks so i can't anything right now. so obviously i'm interested in her and i want his to work out and my brain is basically flipping the **** out. i don't know how take it, is she telling the truth, is she playing hard to get, is she telling me to **** off, or should i persist in text or call her?
MrCastle Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 How it was said: me: hey *name*! its *name*! So I'd like to eat-out at a restaurant some time this week or the week-end, If I'm free, and it was really fun talking with you, Friday, so would you like to come with me? I can call you later if you want? her:i'm a little busy for the next little while, but i can let you know as soon as i have some free time? me: ok i'm pretty flexible is there like a day in particular? her: not right now :\ are you okay with a couple of weeks? me:sure but by a couple of weeks you mean? her: i don't have free time for a few weeks so i can't anything right now How it sounded: you: hey do you want to hang out this week? huh? do ya, do ya, do ya?? I can call you! her: eh, I'm busy you: ok that's cool so when do you want to hang out huh? huh? huh? her: not sure, i'm busy you: um, ok...can you please give me a specific date and time?? like right now??? her: leave me alone[/Quote] How it should have went down: you: hey do you want to hang out sometime this week? her: i'm busy you: (no response) OR you: oh ok no problem[/Quote] What you have to realize is that women are quick to pull out the insecurity/needy card on a guy. As soon as you started going deeper into your "when am I gonna see you again" shtick, the more turned off she got. I know you were just honestly trying to find out when you would get a chance to see her again but you have to recognize when a girl isn't interested or just isn't in the mood at that time. She may very well have been busy (doubtful but you can't rule it out) but once she gave you that answer, that should have been the end of it. If a woman says she's busy and doesn't give you a time frame as to when she'll be free, it usually means she's not into you. A girl who is interested would have said something like "ahh I'm busy doing (insert legit reason here) but I'll be free (insert free time here)". Don't contact her anymore. If and when she stops being "busy" she knows how to reach you. 2
CC12 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 my brain is basically flipping the **** out. Stop it. You've been on one date. Relax. i don't know how take it, is she telling the truth, is she playing hard to get, is she telling me to **** off, She was probably telling the truth in the beginning of that exchange, but by the end she pretty much had to tell you to **** off because you wouldn't stop pressing for an explicit answer. That doesn't necessarily mean **** off forever. Learn how to gracefully accept whatever answer you're given in these situations. or should i persist in text or call her? Until you ask her out again, only text her very occasionally and only when you have something funny or interesting to say. Wait a couple/few weeks, then ask her if she's free to go out on X day and time. If she says she can't, tell her to let you know if she ever wants to hang out, then forget about her because she's not very interested in you. 2
justhello Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 i not the best at this dating thing, but you shouldn't have gave her an option to go back out with you. you should have just told her hey lets go get some dinner at.... it shows confidence. but i can always be wrong
Author jimzaki Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Thanks you guys! :] so from what i understand i sound way to clingy and i need to cool my jets. as for persisting its a basically proceed with caution, text her like once or twice a week and after maybe 2/3 weeks re-try and if it doesn't happen, i'm wasting my time?
yongyong Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 you sounded Creepy as F-ck (no better word to describe it) 'i don't have free time for a few weeks so i can't anything right now' She literally said 'F-ck off' to your face. You sure you want to contact That again?
todreaminblue Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Thanks you guys! :] so from what i understand i sound way to clingy and i need to cool my jets. as for persisting its a basically proceed with caution, text her like once or twice a week and after maybe 2/3 weeks re-try and if it doesn't happen, i'm wasting my time? this is what i have figured out....i am going to text when i feel like texting he hasnt answered my texts ok he answered one text i sent.......ummm last week..... i have sent one more i think or it could be two more.....this is what i do know i have never been a clingy person sending a text message doesn't make me clingy or needy.........i want to text him i don't need to text him....i wont die if he doesn't reply this is proven already....i know this guy isnt a rude person he is kind and compassionate........there has to be a reason why he hasn't replied.......if he gets sick of reading my texts he can tell me to rack off....i have never been told to rack off by a guy before.....but i have had worse said and i survived....i would most likely avoid all contact with him for a little while, because honestly it would hurt but that is the worse he can say to me ....rack off deb you are bugging me...in fact i think ill write that.....because i would` rather be told to rack off than have an eye roll at another text from me.......then i will apply a band aid and put my headphones on go for a walk and recoup for two years....kidding...maybe not......but i will continue to do the things i do and take it in my stride like i do any other disappointment i face........an emotional stride but still a stride...deb
Author jimzaki Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 yong's right but i'm tempted to at least try and initiate a simple conversation over text just to see how that goes. maybe i should just wait if she's gonna do it herself. i dunno i ****ed up that's all i know i wanna see if the damage i did can be fixed
justhello Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 yeah i would wait a while. and when you do text her back try to make it about something she might like and avoid asking her just tell her. Hey lets go to this comedy show tomorrow i got two free tickets. and at worse she says no and you know your done.
SJC2008 Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 #1) You asked her if you were going to see her again. Don't ever ask a woman that in that way, it comes accross as seeking her approval, don't ask for a second date on the first for that matter. #2) You didn't call her you texted her. #3) When you did text her you didn't even make small talk you DOVE right in ans asked for another date. #4) You pressed her for times when asking for the date. #5) Step into my office...Cus you're fuggin fired! You came on way too strong, it's over so don't bother. Don't take these posts as a bashing session, just constructive criticism.
dasein Posted November 7, 2012 Posted November 7, 2012 You didn't make any great big error IMO. Sorry to say she just doesn't seem interested. People make time for new people they want to date. Everything other than them accepting dates and accepting your respectful physical advances is just noise in the beginning. Navigate on those two things to keep yourself sane. Please, please do consider not asking women out via text going forward though, call them. Calling them has the fringe benefit of allowing you to gauge their receptiveness or lack of it by their answering the call, tone of voice, etc. before sticking your neck out. Good luck.
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