OCCDAVE Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 It's gonna be hard to maintain nc today knowing my wife of 3 years is spending her birthday with another man.what makes it even more sick is shes had a baby ugh I wanna get out this black hole ...
Exit Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Seems that would make it easier to maintain NC, rather than thinking that she is alone and missing you. She's not. She's celebrating with someone else. Don't break NC to wish her anything, that's the weakest possible move to make. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 That's the part that screws me up I know she had a baby,is married and last time we talked back in feb she told me she got preg while we were married.All of a reason to despise her yet I'm sitting here missing her ? Ugh I'm an odd one
PYTpisces Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 no you're not. you're human. you won't regret maintaing nc even though it seems hard right now. this day will be gone before you know it and you will thank yourself in the future for not wishing her a happy birthday. all it could possibly do at this point is set you back from all you've accomplished so far. the urge to contact her is for instant gratification to feed the little devil on your shoulder egging you on. Be strong today you can do it. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 I agree but how can I act human when shes shown not to be.hell I'd like to think shes missing me but I doubt I even cross her mind.plus not only is it her birthday today is the same day she had the talk about starting a family .Well I fell for it but she wasn't lying about starting one just not with me .yet another example of why again am I sad ? smh If nothing else at least I've maintained nc since feb not much rlse to smile over
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I agree but how can I act human when shes shown not to be.hell I'd like to think shes missing me but I doubt I even cross her mind.plus not only is it her birthday today is the same day she had the talk about starting a family .Well I fell for it but she wasn't lying about starting one just not with me .yet another example of why again am I sad ? smh If nothing else at least I've maintained nc since feb not much rlse to smile over All I can say is I agree with the others who said to remain nc. I hope the day passes quickly for you and you can stay distracted. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Tell me about it thank god I work 10 hours today by time I get out I will be to tired lol.like another user said its that little devil just trying to feed its urge .sometimes I wish I could just flip my feelings on and off
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Tell me about it thank god I work 10 hours today by time I get out I will be to tired lol.like another user said its that little devil just trying to feed its urge .sometimes I wish I could just flip my feelings on and off I'd love to have a "reset" button for my feelings, that would be nice. It's way too easy to fall into temptation and put ourselves further into a rut...but it takes courage and stamina to fight it and bring ourselves to a higher level. Once this day is over and a few days pass, you'll be very proud of yourself that you didn't take the easy way out. 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Thanks river and I agree in time hopefully I look back at these post and say omg how wussy I sounded lol.I think the thing ill never understand why when she dropped the bomb did she continue to feed me hope .i still miss her but person ive loved is long dead .im already looking forward to 2013 this year has been crap I doubt it can get worse
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Thanks river and I agree in time hopefully I look back at these post and say omg how wussy I sounded lol.I think the thing ill never understand why when she dropped the bomb did she continue to feed me hope .i still miss her but person ive loved is long dead .im already looking forward to 2013 this year has been crap I doubt it can get worse My ex did the same, continued to feed me little breadcrumbs of false hope...I never understood it either, and yes, that's the hardest part, the reasoning. But at one point, we have to just accept there is no logic to it, hard to do though, I'm still furrowing my brow over things. You're not being a wuss! LOL... 1
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Well I had a minor slip up I called her private but she didn't pick up.I was worried she would call back but thank god she didn't .sigh
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 I think another thing that's gonna be hard to shake off is this baby she had.Since I've known her I always wanted to start a family with her.She told me she couldn't have kids yet I swallowed that and wanted to stay with her cause I loved her sigh
ilou Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 A man that quick? I'm guessing w/ in a few years they're going to have some turbulent times. Maybe, maybe not. But you should focus on yourself. I disconnect emotionally pretty easy so easier said than done. Find something fun to do. 1
River Rain Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I think another thing that's gonna be hard to shake off is this baby she had.Since I've known her I always wanted to start a family with her.She told me she couldn't have kids yet I swallowed that and wanted to stay with her cause I loved her sigh I'm sure that's hard to accept, but I'm also sure you'll find another woman who wants to start a family with you.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 I hope I do tbh I envy my friends cause all of them have kids .I hope one day I'm blessed to have one so I can spoil him/her heh
River Rain Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I hope I do tbh I envy my friends cause all of them have kids .I hope one day I'm blessed to have one so I can spoil him/her heh That's nice actually. So many people have kids accidentally or for the wrong reasons. I don't remember, but are you dating now?
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 Nope at the moment single .with my recent health problems and now I must tend to my mother who's been on edge ever since they said her brother has few months to live.i really havnt had a chance to myself let alone date sigh .I know it's a bump in the road but the holidays are gonna be crap
River Rain Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Sorry...it's a challenging time for sure. I'm not one for holidays at all, but I can see how it would be sad from the memories. Time to make new memories though and focus on what makes you happy - and I mean what makes you happy on your own. I dove into my studies and some new hobbies that are helping me, although some days it's hard to focus, I still try really hard to do things that bring me joy.
PYTpisces Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 Sorry...it's a challenging time for sure. I'm not one for holidays at all, but I can see how it would be sad from the memories. Time to make new memories though and focus on what makes you happy - and I mean what makes you happy on your own. I dove into my studies and some new hobbies that are helping me, although some days it's hard to focus, I still try really hard to do things that bring me joy. I second this. This year to take my mind off the sadness I'm determined to bring out the the childlike joy i used to have for holidays. I'm going to decorate and really get into the spirit even just for myself to bring me back to a time when life was a lot simpler, back when I thought boys were icky! holiday music, scents the whole 9. Immersing all your senses into things that bring joy are super helpful
River Rain Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 I second this. This year to take my mind off the sadness I'm determined to bring out the the childlike joy i used to have for holidays. I'm going to decorate and really get into the spirit even just for myself to bring me back to a time when life was a lot simpler, back when I thought boys were icky! holiday music, scents the whole 9. Immersing all your senses into things that bring joy are super helpful That's a super idea. Bake cookies, leave some milk out for Santa ...go walking in the snow (if you're lucky enough to have snow)...even go to Midnight Mass if that's your thing. Make a snowman, hang a stocking and fill it for yourself then pretend you didn't when you wake up the next day, take pictures and make new memories.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 8, 2012 Author Posted November 8, 2012 A man that quick? I'm guessing w/ in a few years they're going to have some turbulent times. Maybe, maybe not. But you should focus on yourself. I disconnect emotionally pretty easy so easier said than done. Find something fun to do.im trying to focus on myself pretty much just taking it a day at a time.Im sure they will hit a rough patch but i think she will eat whatever crap he throws at her .Im not trying to put her down but she's got nothing going for her at all.This man is loaded with money so she can't even buy the kid diapers .anyway maybe her world will crash on her maybe not
River Rain Posted November 8, 2012 Posted November 8, 2012 im trying to focus on myself pretty much just taking it a day at a time.Im sure they will hit a rough patch but i think she will eat whatever crap he throws at her .Im not trying to put her down but she's got nothing going for her at all.This man is loaded with money so she can't even buy the kid diapers .anyway maybe her world will crash on her maybe not I think that you shouldn't care if she crashes or not, the more you focus on it, the more drawn in you'll always be.
Author OCCDAVE Posted November 9, 2012 Author Posted November 9, 2012 I think that you shouldn't care if she crashes or not, the more you focus on it, the more drawn in you'll always be.true that plus ill never fully heal if I worry how's she doing and stuff.maybe I'm crazy but I thought who knows maybe few years down the road will cross paths hell maybe even try again lol.I wish but she's almost 9 years older then me .Sigh I miss her bad Thanks again for every user on here who has helped and let me vent when I needed 1
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