theLWord Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I broke up and was no contact with my ex for 2 weeks today. (She was a compulsive liar, I was the dumper but it doesn't feel as such.) I have a few things of her stuff I need to give back still, also some books I borrowed from her mom. She lives 3.5 hours away, her mom lives about 30 mins away. Anyway, I started looking around all the stuff that I had of hers and I gathered it up and put it in a box along with her mom's books. I e-mailed the ex to tell her and asked her to tell her mom since her mom would be at work at the time I would be in that area, I would have to put it in the backyard. I KNOW I shouldn't have contacted my ex and should've just contacted her mom.. But I felt weird involving her mom in the situation. Then I thought about the fact that it was 10 already and what if my ex didn't get the email until a few days later. (I don't know how frequently she checks it.) So I unblocked her number and sent her a text, "I sent you an e-mail telling you this, but wanted to make sure your mom knows that I will be leaving yours and her stuff in the backyard tomorrow." As I expected, she didn't reply, so I almost went into freak out mode, even thought about calling her, but I didn't Thank God. I re-blocked her number. However, now all I can think about is, she must not have answered because she's with someone else. I had suspected she was a couple weeks before I ended it because she frequently wouldn't respond to texts or answer my calls. I left her number unblocked for about an hour hoping she would respond. I guess I expected her to say, "I finally realized I'm a compulsive liar who treated you like sh*t and took you for granted. I'm in intense therapy now and I still love you." I know that's completely insane but I think I wanted to hear that. I know I never will and even IF she did, I could never trust her again. I think I just want to be missed by her because I do miss her. Also, she broke NC about a week into it, by calling me. I ignored it but that's when I blocked her number. I'm assuming (and by past behavior) that she was missing me and wanted to reach out to see if she could reel me back in. But if it was important, she would've e-mailed or left a voicemail, right? Anyway, any advice for picking myself up after this? I hope I will feel better knowing that this is the last reason we would have to be in contact after I drop her stuff off tomorrow. Right now I just feel like crying though. Maybe it's also the fact that I have to accept that this is the end for sure and we aren't getting back together this time.
LostOne1 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I know how you feel. I dropped off my ex's stuff too, but her parents opened it all and I guess flipped out. So it made her hate me even more. It's tough because you know no matter what you do.. chances are it will never be fixed now. That the only option left now is to move on completely. And I know it's a tough feeling. Because now you just can't look back and if you do nothing will happen at all. In some ways I didn't want to give my ex's stuff back, but in some ways I did... It's a tough decision and tough time for us, but there isn't much we can do when we don't have control over how some things goes.
Author theLWord Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 (edited) I know how you feel. I dropped off my ex's stuff too, but her parents opened it all and I guess flipped out. So it made her hate me even more. It's tough because you know no matter what you do.. chances are it will never be fixed now. That the only option left now is to move on completely. And I know it's a tough feeling. Because now you just can't look back and if you do nothing will happen at all. In some ways I didn't want to give my ex's stuff back, but in some ways I did... It's a tough decision and tough time for us, but there isn't much we can do when we don't have control over how some things goes. It does feel like that. I know I shouldn't look back but sometimes my feelings get in the way of my reasoning.. I know it wasn't the same for her or she couldn't have treated me how she did. I hope after I drop the stuff off I will feel some closure because just gathering it, and thinking about the trip makes my stomach hurt. I can't wait for this to be over. Edited November 5, 2012 by theLWord
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