slant Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 So I'm in a LDR with my girlfriend. I would like to initiate talk of a sexual nature with her at times, to have something intimate together when we are away for a month or two at a time. I was able to start something tonight over instant messaging and it was fun for both of us. She followed after I started talking about stuff so that's a step in the right direction. Just looking for advice on what to do. I guess it's my fault I'm a little nervous to say that stuff sometimes and I don't know why. I'd really like to be able to have phone sex with her, but she has three roommates so not sure if that could ever happen.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I think it's fun when things progress like that. With my ex we did the dirty talk over texting, then some fantasies over email too. We did some phone sex and it was very exciting, mind you, we were both very open to it. But if she has roommates, that might not happen, with phone sex, you really need privacy and to feel very comfortable with your partner.
dasein Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Well the trite way is "what are you wearing?" But it does work. "If we were in bed together, what would you want me to do to you?" It's not rocket science, am sure you and she will be fine in getting things warmed up. I find women respond to innuendo on the phone more than graphically sexual talk during the warmup, "I was thinking of you in that little black dress and how crazy it made me on NYE," for example. Let them escalate at their pace as you lead them, they may take a bit more time to get really explicit about what they want, use subtly and innuendo until then. But do mix it up, just like your regular sex habits, just like dancing. Sometimes open the call with "I've been thinking about f-ing your hot wet... all day." Kind of the same as a quickie would be in person. 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I honestly hate doing stuff like that because it takes too much thought. When I do it I would just talk about stuff that I want to do to the other person and what I want them to do to me. It is not super exciting to me.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Well the trite way is "what are you wearing?" But it does work. "If we were in bed together, what would you want me to do to you?" It's not rocket science, am sure you and she will be fine in getting things warmed up. I find women respond to innuendo on the phone more than graphically sexual talk during the warmup, "I was thinking of you in that little black dress and how crazy it made me on NYE," for example. Let them escalate at their pace as you lead them, they may take a bit more time to get really explicit about what they want, use subtly and innuendo until then. But do mix it up, just like your regular sex habits, just like dancing. Sometimes open the call with "I've been thinking about f-ing your hot wet... all day." Kind of the same as a quickie would be in person. Just like in real life...I can only speak for myself, but I think a woman turns on like an oven...slowly as the heat builds up. The fantasy (during phone sex) is like foreplay in real life. 1
dasein Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Couple other things are that the voice is key in getting things going. You want a little playful and flirty in the early going, then after she is making responsive noises, you can switch gears to a more urgent deeper voice. At this point, you can go ahead and make the same kinds of noises you make while having sex to help her along. If she likes it, be aware she may want lots of it, and it can be a big time burner and sleep depriver, just like real sex, so consider budgeting time some, time zones, and that you both need good sleep. Having sexy time til 3AM night after night can burn you out. Good luck.
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