webdust Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 I had a fall out with my ex in January. Since then I have been listening to what I think is good advice by not contacting my EX. Lately I have been getting a lot of phone calls that just hang up? So last week I made a huge mistake and called my ex leaving a small voicemail. I feel as if i just lost everything I have woked so hard to heal. I would like to hear you advice on what I did.
tizmos Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 Good for you for making it to seven months and honestly, many before you have cracked down sooner. Has your ex called back? It really isn't a big deal at this point because you've had some time to get over the intial pain. Whatever comes after this will be tiny compared to what you've gone through...and no matter who you are, it's impossible to not contact your ex eventually. The no contact rule is best applied for the first month or so. You should be fine. Stay strong...
hurtingandconfused Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 It has been 7 months here also. I feel as if I should give her a call. But pride does it best and disallows me to call her. Don't call her anymore, if she calls back tell her it was a mistake. From the sounds of it you still have feelings for this person.
popvix Posted August 3, 2004 Posted August 3, 2004 ask yourself why you are calling him in the first place... if your only doing it to feel better, then your keeping the relationship alive in your own heart and perpetuating the pain... while your ex has probably moved on with their life. People talk alot about NO CONTACT on here and keep the advice about it very simple, but dont really go at lengths to explain the point of it in the first place. When i first split up with my ex, i came on here and learned the NC rule, but only followed it while still spending all my time fantasising about getting back in contact with my ex girlfriend just so i could be with her, argue with her, anything.... Needless to say i probably spent a fortnight turning myself over and over needlessly till i realised that NO CONTACT is basically the wall that you have to put between you and your ex before you start the proper healing process, which is sorting yourself out mentally and learning how to remove your emotional connection with the person who has broken your heart. As soon as no contact is broken, it essentially halts all your hard work your mind was doing to get over that person, and your back to square one. So, my only advice is to do no contact, and really mean it. Then once you have that first step in place.... work on the most important stage... healing.
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