tori0001 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 G and I are boy friend and girl friend. I find myself missing him so much, and becoming too attached. I need to keep my emotions in check to not become needy and clingy. I'm trying to make a point not to contact him first, I feel it helps me keep my emotions under control so I don't appear to be needy. The way I feel makes it so hard. What's the best way to keep yourself in check. I need to keep in control. He's a controlled person, I don't want to appear weak to him. Life is easier when there are no feelings involved. Now it becomes complicated when you really start to care, and maybe feel love.
clia Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 If you keep yourself busy with your friends, job, and other interests you had before you met him, you won't have time to start clinging to him and appearing needy.
Author tori0001 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Now the insecurities start to set in, and I don't want that to happen. I love what we have and don't want to ruin it.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I know how you feel, that longing. I'm a very emotional woman, and when I was in my relationship, I often felt that need to connect with him, but I had to stop myself. I have a tendency for tunnel vision with men because that feeling of euphoria when we're together and connecting is something I really crave. I had to learn to be alone and happy. The only way to do that is to keep busy in your own life, do your own thing. It's okay to look forward to your next encounter, but when you start to let it become overwhelming, it turns into desperation, which isn't good for you or for your relationship.
Author tori0001 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 It makes it tough because we are long distance. We had a talk today, I told him I'm willing to drive and meet you halfway just for lunch or dinner to spend time together, I don't care. Now since he knows, it means we will face more face to face time. He always felt bad about having me drive. We are getting together this Friday, it may be just for dinner, or an over nighter. Not sure yet about that. He's leaving for 3 weeks at the end of the month, so I want to spend as much time with him as I can. We're both committed, so it's a nice feeling.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 It makes it tough because we are long distance. We had a talk today, I told him I'm willing to drive and meet you halfway just for lunch or dinner to spend time together, I don't care. Now since he knows, it means we will face more face to face time. He always felt bad about having me drive. We are getting together this Friday, it may be just for dinner, or an over nighter. Not sure yet about that. He's leaving for 3 weeks at the end of the month, so I want to spend as much time with him as I can. We're both committed, so it's a nice feeling. Definitely the distance is hard, I just ended a LDR because the communication failed. I think it's great that you're going to meet him! And that you're both committed. LDR's play tricks with my emotions, they are certainly more challenging...I hope everything works out for you both.
Author tori0001 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Thank you, I really like him. It's tough, because not only is it long distance, but he also travels for a couple weeks at a time. Yes it's a challenge.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Thank you, I really like him. It's tough, because not only is it long distance, but he also travels for a couple weeks at a time. Yes it's a challenge. Are there plans for living together or nearer in the future?
Author tori0001 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 We haven't discussed that yet. I hope in the future we will. I haven't dated long distance before, boy it's challenge. He wanted to make me his gf, so I guess the distance is no problem for him. Like I told him, I'm willing to drive.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 We haven't discussed that yet. I hope in the future we will. I haven't dated long distance before, boy it's challenge. He wanted to make me his gf, so I guess the distance is no problem for him. Like I told him, I'm willing to drive. It was a first for me too. I don't think I'd do it again to be honest, but I guess I'm just talking with a battered heart at the moment. I think it's a good idea to talk about the future when in an LDR, not like...solid plans or marriage or stuff like that, but just to broach the topic of moving closer at some point. Just to see where each other stands.
Author tori0001 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 I think with the right person willing to work on the relationship, it will work. Just like with anything, if it's one sided, it will never work. Both people have got to want it.
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