irc333 Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I was talking to a friend of mine, he's in his late 20's, and he was dating this rather young woman, she was 19...didn't last long, because her mom didn't care for the age difference. Same thing happened with me when I was 27, met this woman online, we dated for 4 months, but same thing happen...momma didn't like her dating men my age...and preferred she just stick to the on-campus dating of men around her age bracket. I think it also had something to do with her wanting to focus on her 4 years of college, too....while I was far done with college, and working. Anyone here have parents (esp. women) that influenced your dating decisions even POST highschool? When does it stop? I think there's this transition from high school age to, let's say early 20's, where parents eventually stop hassling you about your dating life.
GirlontheLam Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Late 20s and 19 year olds are not a good combo. Here is the deal. If you are old enough to go to the bar, why are you dating someone who can't go to the bar. You are not in the same life stage. Typically men over about 25 targeting teenagers have some sort of issue. They want a naive girl they can control more. Or something else. And if you are 19, you need to stick with people under around 22 who are more likely to be in your life stage. Whether you go to college or not. At 19, 10 years is a HUGE age gap. One of you has been solidly settled into adulthood and your career for a while, and the other person is still calling the parents for money to cover a bounced rent check (and taking classes, doing finals, planning out their career and lie plan...) 3
Mrlonelyone Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 That's not always true Girlonthelam. Some people mature faster than others. Some people are 19 going on 29 and others are 19 going on 15. My parents say that a man should look for a woman 6 to 8 years younger than him give or take. There are pluses for the woman. Are age gap relationships better for women? | Mail Online And possibly minuses for the woman. Downside of marriage for women: The greater a wife’s age gap from her husband, the lower her life expectancy Plenty of people have made that kind of age gap work and mind you when one is 40 and the other is 30 people say the same things about life stages etc. Life isn't as linear and programmed as to be broken into neat little stages that everybody marches through at the same pace. As long as the maturity matches this can work. To the OP question: Yes. Parents and friends reactions have quashed possible relationships for me before. If someone knows only about me that I am non-white and transgender all sorts of negative images come to mind. Things like this do happen.
GirlontheLam Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 That's not always true Girlonthelam. Some people mature faster than others. Some people are 19 going on 29 and others are 19 going on 15. My parents say that a man should look for a woman 6 to 8 years younger than him give or take. There are pluses for the woman. Are age gap relationships better for women? | Mail Online And possibly minuses for the woman. Downside of marriage for women: The greater a wife’s age gap from her husband, the lower her life expectancy Plenty of people have made that kind of age gap work and mind you when one is 40 and the other is 30 people say the same things about life stages etc. Life isn't as linear and programmed as to be broken into neat little stages that everybody marches through at the same pace. As long as the maturity matches this can work. It is a very different story when you are 30 and 40, vs 20 and 30. 6-8 or bigger age gaps make sense, once both parties are over 25 or so. Aka fully formed adults. But if you are an adult, you should not date kids. That's the problem. And 90% of 19 are still kids. The closer you are to 30, the farther you need to stay away from teens. After age 30, it doesn't really matter. Or even 27 or so. Feel free to date the 30-somethings, 40-somethings and 50-somethings, etc. But if you are over about 24, dating people under 21 is sketchy 90% of the time.
Mrlonelyone Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 But if you are over about 24, dating people under 21 is sketchy 90% of the time. I actually agree with that 90% or more of people under 21 are too immature to date someone over say 25 ish in any serious way. However should that other 10% be relegated to dating immature people?
GirlontheLam Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I actually agree with that 90% or more of people under 21 are too immature to date someone over say 25 ish in any serious way. However should that other 10% be relegated to dating immature people? It is rare enough that I think it is likely a good bet that this isn't the case here. And it looks like it is a pattern with the 29 year old, to bring home women that are too young.
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