lovebug1234 Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 i went on a few dates with his guy and I really liked him, problem is he's moving really fast. i talked to him about slowing down and we did a bit but he just keeps pushing it. last date, i suggested a place closer to my side of town so i didn't have to drive really far. he ended up taking a taxi there so I ended up driving us around town. this really annoyed me, i took him home and he obviously wanted me to sleep with him. i did want to sleep with him but because he pulled the whole taxi thing where i would end up at this place, i was turned off by him so i just left. anyway, i think we both see long term potential, it's been 3 dates and honestly because of his impatience, i am losing sexual interest in him (I have a high sex drive). I like the guy though, his forwardness just makes me get the ick factor. OR he's just not doing it right. there are guys who can lead and there are guys who fail at it. I feel frustrated because I felt like there was long term potential. one more date or should i just move on?
Author lovebug1234 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 I realize there's physical chemistry, intellectual, emotional chemistry. ideally you get all three, which him, physical and intellectual chemistry is there but the emotional chemistry isn't. I feel like I didn't have time to build anything thus, the physical chemistry is dropping. Another thing that bothers me is he keeps telling me that he needs someone to take care of him (household stuff). i'm naturally really nurturing but i feel like he's looking for a housewife. he keeps talking about children. i'm in the later 20s and he's in his early 30s so it's not unreasonable. I think wanting to be taken care of is fine but it's just too early to be talking about those things.
Author lovebug1234 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Honestly, just a poster, i am starting to feel the same way. i hate to admit it. i work with a lot of successful women and a lot of them are choosing to stay single, they're actually pretty cool girls too and good looking, and they're not man haters. they have their own house, go on dates when they feel like it etc. i would like companionship though, i'm a little torn on this one.
truth_seeker Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Honestly, just a poster, i am starting to feel the same way. i hate to admit it. i work with a lot of successful women and a lot of them are choosing to stay single, they're actually pretty cool girls too and good looking, and they're not man haters. they have their own house, go on dates when they feel like it etc. i would like companionship though, i'm a little torn on this one. I was out last night and met a group of women and one of them was attractive and she said she's single and enjoys going out with her friends. There are many women who are choosing to stay single and only date when they feel like it. The downside for women like this is that, sadly, there is a small window for them. A woman 27-33 has loads of options, if she's pretty and successful. If she chooses to stay single during her prime years, once she gets passed her prime and enters her late 30's, the options disappear rapidly, and she'll have no choice but to remain single unless she settles.
Author lovebug1234 Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 what difference does it make? either i settle now or i settle later, or not settle at all?
CarrieT Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 what difference does it make? either i settle now or i settle later, or not settle at all? With the mindset of "settling," you are doomed to always question your actions, your relationship, and your direction. Pretty sad, I think...
Author lovebug1234 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 what is the alternative carrie?
truth_seeker Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Hey, I'm a guy and I would like a companion but I am not going to force myself to like someone for the sake of having a companion. The best way around this is to keep your mind off of it. More activities, projects, and by doing this, you're not constantly thinking about having a companion. I've learned these things don't happen on your time. They happen when they're suppose to happen.
FitChick Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I feel like I didn't have time to build anything thus, the physical chemistry is dropping. Another thing that bothers me is he keeps telling me that he needs someone to take care of him . I think wanting to be taken care of is fine but it's just too early to be talking about those things. What have you got to lose by coming right out and telling him the above? One reason I prefer online dating is because it gives me the opportunity to build anticipation and excitement, something men don't seem to understand.
truth_seeker Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 One reason I prefer online dating is because it gives me the opportunity to build anticipation and excitement, something men don't seem to understand. build anticipation and excitement? That's great and all but how to tell between that and someone leading you on while they play the field?
mortensorchid Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 SOunds like a loser. Your saying that you have a high drive is really not the real problem. He's more or less demanding for sex and you are being turned off by it. There is such a thing as being too eager for something, and that's what's turning you off. Reminds me of this guy I met online a few years ago. When we met for dinner one night, all he wanted to do was talk about s-e-x. Proclaimed to be a successful broker in the finance department of his company, but I found that hard to believe that he was such a jerk to me that he would be successful at anything. And one day he must have called at least fifteen times when I said I would be home. Really creeped me out.
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