Ydok Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Sorry for the long story. Appreciate it if you read my rant! I'm not sure where to start so I will say a quick few things about me. I'm 20, starting college soon, been holding a great job for quite some time now, physically active on a daily basis and in great shape, very positive outlook on life, making money and no bills to pay, no reason to be depressed, right? So I started working at my new job 6 months ago. My boss hired me on the spot and from the minute I met her, I was attracted to her physically and mentally. She was bubbly, very outgoing and confident like myself. She's in my age bracket. Well, since then, I've grown to really like every thing about this girl. From the start I knew I shouldn't have gotten myself involved or "Dip my ink in the company inkwell" as they say, but I did, and now I'm in far too deep. Her and I are very compatible and get along in so many ways. She fits so many things that I look for in a woman. However, if you haven't guessed by now, there's just one problem, she has a boyfriend. Red flag, right? She complains about her boyfriend mistreating her on a regular basis, and I even hear it myself when she's on the phone with him. Not in an abusive way, but just a disrespectful and inconsiderate way. He takes her for granted. Her and I flirt together like crazy, though. We're very open with each other and flirt sexually on a regular basis, and quite frankly, I love it. I love the way she makes me feel as well. I've never fallen for a woman like this. I was actually single for 2 1/2 years before her, because I was recollecting my thoughts and honestly, lost interest in women period. We joke around about doing things, but we've never physically done anything together because she's respectful to her dick boyfriend. I can tell that she's definitely taken a liking to me. The most we've done is go on lunch together, or when she gives me rides home after work with a few "stops". (I ride a bike to work to save money.) She's favored me at work, and it caused drama amongst the other employees. Well, now, I've started to become mildly depressed and have started to have revisiting symptoms of anxiety. I can't figure out why, though? Is it because I can't have her? I don't understand why I can't just go to work and enjoy the flirtatious relationship that we have and keep it at that? Do I tell her that I have developed real feelings for her and have started to care deeply about her? Or do I just hush and start to cut the flirting and friendship cold turkey? I just don't know what to do, but I'm starting to be affected physically with fatigue and that's not normal for me at all. Thank you if you've read this far.. I appreciate any feedback on my situation.
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