blue_jay_bird Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Something that has been bugging me is that i was dependent on my ex...needly. One on of the factors in him leaving me. I begin to question, do i just need to find someone that is as needy as me. Or do i have to find this "independence"... Because the more i sit here. The more i think he was right. I'm just too needy, and i need a needy person?
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I think that "needy" is defined by your self-esteem. If you "need" another person to feel happy, then you become overly dependent and it's really a turn off. I don't know that you want to find a "needy" person to fulfill you, I think you need to work on yourself and your self esteem. When a person is confident and able to enjoy life without having to rely on a mate, then that neediness goes away. I'm no expert though, but I've been there before.
Author blue_jay_bird Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 (edited) I think that "needy" is defined by your self-esteem. If you "need" another person to feel happy, then you become overly dependent and it's really a turn off. I don't know that you want to find a "needy" person to fulfill you, I think you need to work on yourself and your self esteem. When a person is confident and able to enjoy life without having to rely on a mate, then that neediness goes away. I'm no expert though, but I've been there before. I hope your right. Cause i'v felt alone and needy most of my life. "Working on myself" is such a vague/ untangle concept. Such as "get a hobby", "focus on school", "love your self". These things just seem not to fill that hole. That I think i'll always feel needy. And everyone see those relationships, where one person overtly needs the other. The other seem fine with it. Edited November 4, 2012 by blue_jay_bird
LostOne1 Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I know how you feel. I wasn't really needy, but I always wanted someone... I think deep down we all want someone. But I was strong enough to do things on my own. My ex left me and I felt the loss. She always had my back when things went downhill. Well maybe not always but pretty much most of the time. And then to lose her and become this emotional wreck and know she's not here to help and she could care less... it hurt a lot. If I was an emotional wreck ever she was there to support me through it. Losing her I had no one.. a few friends helped out and some family... but it wasn't the same and it was tough. It isn't that your needy, you just want someone in your life to love you and have your back if you fall. It isn't a bad thing, but it's a tough thing in life. Because then its harder to get back up yourself. I am feeling those effects of having to get back up and it's tough!
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