dezhou Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 (edited) I've had two great dates with a girl I met on an online dating site. I went out with her on a whim, but I've been very pleasantly surprised at how well the dates went and how much I like her. The great thing is that, up through date two, I've really felt like she's interested, too. She would contact me first, she asked for the second date, she would text me randomly, etc. Anyway, like I mentioned, we had our second date earlier this week and the date went really well. We spent about 3-4 hours together over dinner and drinks, had great conversation, kissed at the end of the night, and she said "absolutely" when I told her I wanted to see her again. Now I'm a bit confused about where things stand and what, if anything, I should do at this point since I haven't heard from her. I texted her about 24 hours after---because she said she had a busy weekend coming--and haven't heard back. That was 48 hours ago. I also called tonight, about 24 hours after my text, and left her a short message. I've been around this block a enough times to know how to be confident, keep things short, and allow her time. I try to avoiding coming off as needy or insecure. Anyway, I'm going to give her a chance to respond but I'm curious what people think about the situation and where you think it's going from here. I keep running into a situation where women say "absolutely" or "totally" or "sure" when I ask to see them again, and then never return my calls when I try to set it up. So it's getting frustrating. Am I sunk? Am I good? Am I overthinking things? Edited November 3, 2012 by dezhou
GreatWall01 Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 If you are looking for a relationship, you have to trust what she says. She said that she has a busy weekend and she's not given you a reason to believe otherwise. I think you've let her know your continued interest with the text and the follow up phone call... the ball is in her court now. If you don't hear back from her on Monday, then I'd write this girl off....
Author dezhou Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 If you are looking for a relationship, you have to trust what she says. She said that she has a busy weekend and she's not given you a reason to believe otherwise. Excellent point. She hasn't given me a reason to believe otherwise. Hopefully my attempts at communication didn't come off as pestering.
xdahliax Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 As GreatWall01 stated, wait until Monday and then write her off. It is a bit peculiar to me that she was unable to respond within 48 hours. If you texted her 48 hours ago, that was before the weekend. Either way, I'm generally very busy but I always have time to return a call. It takes maybe 3 minutes out of my day, so I can do it while waiting for my drink at Starbucks or while I'm walking to work...
Author dezhou Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Yeah, giving her through Sunday is fair.
SJC2008 Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I've had a text then call go unanswered too. Texted her on a friday, no response, called on sun and left a VM. Asked what was up tue by text and she responded and flaked till blew a gasket and said eff it. If someone is interested in a person they don't ignore texts/calls, period. They may be playing hard to get but either way it's not a good scenario. Do NOT contact her again. You already gave ground by texting and calling.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 My opinion is your sunk. Women don't pull away from the right guy, even If they are really busy. Now, she did mention she was busy...that's a credible excuse and personally I wouldn't have contacted her at all if that was the case. But would she have time to shoot you a text if she really wanted to? what is she doing...drilling a coal mine? I don't know, it's up to you man...I think it's fair to give her another shot but I'd definitely question the level of interest she has at this point and would not say that you are good, she probably likes you enough though to keep seeing you, but your gestures showed way too much interest for being a confident...you definitely lost your footing here so you must really like her. You've had a few good dates, maybe even great...you should have just let that simmer over the weekend and peeled off...instead you texted, then called and left a voicemail...that's a bit much for what's actually happening, now if you hit it off ended up back at one another place and banged the hell out of each other and really hit it off then yeah I can see you wanting to keep in touch, otherwise it's two good dates and a kiss at the end of the second date...not the most progressive pace IMO. But look at it this way, If she really does like you then this is going to be water on the bridge soon. Just let her contact you first, set up another date and then go from there...I'm breaking it down because you're kind of looking for it, and explaining what i think if you want to go there in detail, but you could easily just take a breather and see what happens, it is what it is at this point, you have no control over the outcome.
Author dezhou Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Yeah, thanks. I always debate how much, or when, to call or text. I thought about waiting until after the weekend, but after 2 dates I figured it was fine. Perhaps that was incorrect, but you're right about it being what it is at this point. And yeah, I like her, that's why I threw this out there.
SJC2008 Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 otherwise it's two good dates and a kiss at the end of the second date...not the most progressive pace IMO. A little confused by this part Ninja. Is that too slow of a pace in your opinion?
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 A little confused by this part Ninja. Is that too slow of a pace in your opinion? Yes, I think it's a bit slow generally speaking.
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