ImYours Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Ok story... DAted for 4 yrs I am 39 him 40. He has one son, I have one dghtr from previous marriage. I was the Very Independent one in the relationship, he was Dependent. He got tired of it and broke up. I never showed how much I wanted him...I did when I felt like it. Should of just been and me stop being so damn independent to a fault. There is more I will provide if needed. My question is tho why does everyone here say NC? I know its bad everyday and stalking isnt good either. But I feel as if I have to reach out one last time. I dont call I dont text I have been NC for 8 days. I will do my one last reach, I dont expect him to take me back, BUT for me this is my healing. I need to tell myself I tried everything and exhausted my options. No regrets no wondering if I just should of called or etc. So I am allowing myself this CONTACT. Then yes it is over, cause I would have laid it all on the line. Ok...thats my vent for now.
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 You'll be forced into no contact like it or not. The theory is to start it early and heal yourself. The normal cycle: Break NC #1- Promising, overall disappointment, HURT Break NC #2- Maybe some promise, not the same person (they don't fill the void), HURT Break NC #3- Maybe they contact, they say they changed but haven't, HURT Break NC #4- Def sick of hearing from them, sick of being hurt, just sick of it, never contact again You can mix and match those anyway you want really, add steps/delete steps. IDK about you but ultimately I have never remained in contact with any of my ex's. For you I say give it one chance, maybe he left due to your coldness (not showing him how much you want him), if you can show him/prove you changed it could be different for you. When the first contact doesn't work, you know where it is heading.
River Rain Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Ok story... DAted for 4 yrs I am 39 him 40. He has one son, I have one dghtr from previous marriage. I was the Very Independent one in the relationship, he was Dependent. He got tired of it and broke up. I never showed how much I wanted him...I did when I felt like it. Should of just been and me stop being so damn independent to a fault. There is more I will provide if needed. My question is tho why does everyone here say NC? I know its bad everyday and stalking isnt good either. But I feel as if I have to reach out one last time. I dont call I dont text I have been NC for 8 days. I will do my one last reach, I dont expect him to take me back, BUT for me this is my healing. I need to tell myself I tried everything and exhausted my options. No regrets no wondering if I just should of called or etc. So I am allowing myself this CONTACT. Then yes it is over, cause I would have laid it all on the line. Ok...thats my vent for now. I don't see how it will be healing for you to reopen that wound, but if you're prepared for it to go sour, then you have to do what you want. What about him, will it be "healing" for him? And ask yourself is it really "one last reach"?
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