Facebook is crucial to your healing.

[PennGuy]

These past three weeks have been very hard. I haven't had much contact with my ex aside from finalizing my moving plans and my last ditch effort to reconcile things. I found myself on her profile a lot and scanning the news feed for mutual friend's posts, photos, etc.

 

I found myself going through her pictures and our pictures of the past three years. There's so much there. So many memories. So many places. So much emotion. She was such a beautiful woman. A beautiful woman who no longer loves me. I felt such a profound sense of loss after viewing them and regretted even doing it in the first place.

 

This is by far my most serious relationship and letting go is so hard, even if towards the end I could somewhat tell that she had checked out and we were on a path to nowhere.

 

I logged on this morning to see a picture of her posted by a friend while they were at a Zumba Master Class this morning. I had enough and hid the newsfeeds of all of her friends that post things involving her.

 

I haven't yet unfriended her or blocked her. I know that if I did, I would be sent into a panic and re-add her tomorrow and look like an idiot doing it.

 

Today, I hid many of our mutual friends from our timeline, and so far today I haven't checked her profile or logged into it. (I know, it's childish, but having your live-in girlfriend of three years torn away from you brings an overwhelming sense of being alone with it).

 

I am done with Facebook stalking. I also only have to contact her twice more to let her know what time I am moving and when we are done. After that, I will be in my own place (staying at the 'rents the past three weeks) and have no need to contact her for anything.

 

STAY AWAY FROM YOUR EX's FACEBOOK. DO NOT GO THROUGH YOUR PICTURES.

 

If I would've taken my own advice three weeks ago, I probably would be doing a little better.

[River Rain]

It's hard not to want that connection again. FB is awful, staying away from it is the right thing to do for you. It'll be tough and very tempting as time goes by, but be strong and just get up and do something else.

 

And don't be hard on yourself, it's easy to give advice, but not always easy to take your own.

 

I should have taken my own advice recently, but I didn't and I got burned badly, but I don't want to make myself feel worse. At least now I have definitely learned from it. You've done the same. It makes you stronger and wiser.

 

Hang in there.

[Under The Radar]

Six months after my breakup I chose to stalk my ex's FB page just out of curiosity. I had been healing, but it was the week of her birthday, and I was thinking about all of our past celebrations.

 

Her main profile picture was of her and the new boyfriend. All of my pain immediately came back and I was consumed with grief for months after that.

 

I'll never make that mistake again. Unfortunately, some of us have to learn the hard way.

 

You learned a valuable lesson and can now move on with your life. Best of luck to you.

Edited November 3, 2012 by Training Revelations

[Exit]

Deleted my Facebook about a year ago now. Thought maybe I'd rejoin some day, but I don't miss it. As said above, just a source a drama, and run by a bunch of crooks making money off of selling your information to companies.

[theLWord]

I deleted facebook about a year ago as well. It's pointless and is the complete opposite of living in the moment. It wastes precious hours of your life! No good.

[spaniard]

I couldn't agree more. During the first 3 months after the break up, I used to stalk my ex's FB page almost every day. I knew it was unhealthy but I couldn't resist. It was always painful. It was always worse after. Then I realized that I'm not even in NC. Because stalking your ex is a form of contact. One-sided, yes, but it's still a flow of information.

 

Then three weeks ago I decided that it couldn't go on. Since that moment I haven't felt the urge to visit her page. I removed her from FB just after the break up, and I took out all the mutual friends from the newsfeed, but her privacy settings let unknown people see everything.

 

If you still stalk your ex, then it's not NC and you seriously hinder your healing process.

[PYTpisces]

For me, my job requires that I'm looking at a computer all day long. I'm constantly faced with the urge to check out facebook. Smart phones make access easier. I do find that when the urge comes on, simply standing up and walking away to do something does actually help in the moment. I'm grateful for having overcome the urge every single time. Be strong!!

[spaniard]

For me, my job requires that I'm looking at a computer all day long. I'm constantly faced with the urge to check out facebook. Smart phones make access easier. I do find that when the urge comes on, simply standing up and walking away to do something does actually help in the moment. I'm grateful for having overcome the urge every single time. Be strong!!

 

Yeah I used to consider every day without stalking a little victory

 

Now it has become the "standard". Right now I'm sitting before the computer, logged in on Facebook, and I know if I entered a single "b" character into the search field, my ex gf's name would pop up. But my conscious mind is like "well, how about no". On the other hand, my unconscious mind keeps dreaming about her almost every second night.

 

Okay, it's a bit off-topic, but honestly, it's a real mystery how human brain works!

[mammasita]

Im the opposite. I immediately unfriend him, his friends and family then delete pictures. My coping mechanism has always been completely erasing the existence of that person from my life. I won't deny trying to look at their facebook in the future, because I do LOL, but its best to block the person out.

[PYTpisces]

@ Spaniard,

 

my mind is circulating with thoughts of the ex too! I find it kind of wonderful sometimes that they consist of old thoughts, and that those memories (good and bad) aren't polluted by new thoughts/curiosity/suspision that only stalking would create! every day is a victory, indeed!