ginastar Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 is it wrong to want a man that is recently engaged? what do you think?
MissBee Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 is it wrong to want a man that is recently engaged? what do you think? What do you mean if it's wrong? Do you think it's wrong? Technically, you can want whatever you want. The wanting is innocent so long as it's not acted upon IMO. I have met many men I've had an attraction for who were in relationships and I left it at that. I'd think "too bad you're taken", or I'd entertain fantasies in the privacy of my own head, until I eventually got over it. The wanting usually doesn't last forever, and you do move on. So no it's not wrong to want...but I'd be very careful about being focused and determined "to get" this man.
Author ginastar Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 well hes a guy i met a few months ago and he flirted with me. I didnt really respond to it at the time but now i am seeing him again in a few weeks and i was looking forward to it but then i found out he was recently engaged. i would prob respond to the flirting if he happen to do it again. obviously i dont know what he would do if i flirt back.
carhill Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Not wrong to want him. We want what we want. The propriety of acting on those wants is relevant to the person's codes of ethical behavior and those of the society the person resides in. As an example, if it is acceptable in your culture to consider any unmarried man, meaning not legally married, as 'fair game' , then an engaged man would be 'fair game'. If you want an answer, the next time he flirts with you, flirt back and casually mention that you might like to see how deep the rabbit hole goes but, since he's engaged, that's not possible. Then walk away. If you're sufficiently compelling, he'll break his engagement. If not, not. Life goes on. 1
Author ginastar Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 im assuming he settled for this girl bc he flirted with me a few months ago (while he was dating her). So i am thinking he may flirt again or maybe he wont since he is now engaged. idk, do you think he will again?
Author ginastar Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 well i just would like to think a man who is going to get married wouldnt flirt with some chick prior to that
carhill Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Such actions are as variable as the men on the planet. Why did some men have the traditional 'bachelor party'? Why do some married men flirt with other women? Everyone defines boundaries for themselves. Here's something to consider, something I actually learned from married women who flirted and were sexual and emotional with me over the decades.....if the man (in this case) doesn't prioritize the flirting/sex/emotion over his primary relationship (his engagement), then he can feel no impropriety within himself. Such encounters were just moments of fun which had/have no meaning to him regarding his engagement. The feelings are the key. The most common words I've heard are 'It didn't mean anything' and 'you must've misunderstood'. Yep, no doubt about either of those. Accepted. IMO, follow your path and, if his path isn't aligning, then that's a reality to accept. 1
Author ginastar Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 yea i think i still have to go and see what he does in a few weeks. Just wondering how many people think im in the wrong for considering a man that is engaged bc if he does flirt i prob will flirt back.
mammasita Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 If he flirted with you and he is engaged what makes you think he won't flirt with others if you end up being with him.
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Everybody flirts, even people in relationships. It doesn't always mean something deeper. 1
Decorative Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Everybody flirts, even people in relationships. It doesn't always mean something deeper. Not everybody flirts with people when in a relationship. Boundaries are our friends. LOL 1
ThatJustHappened Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Not everybody flirts with people when in a relationship. Boundaries are our friends. LOL I mean no disrespect here, but that's a bit naive. Flirting can be completely harmless and even healthy. As you said, boundaries are our friends. Boundaries need to be slightly flexible, otherwise they'll start to feel like prison walls after a while. If you try to leash and muzzle your significant other, they will rebel. People flirt, sometimes unconsciously..it's perfectly normal and natural. Healthy Dating Relationships -The Art of Flirting
whichwayisup Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 is it wrong to want a man that is recently engaged? what do you think? Yes it is. Surprised you're even asking this question since a few weeks ago you posted that your friends husband hit on you and you felt really disrespected. Do you not feel it's wrong because you don't know the woman this guy intends on marrying? Anyway, back off of him and find a single guy. 1
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