spaniard Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Soo. I know I can't expect much help here on this kind of problem, but I need to share it with the community because it really drives me crazy. It's about my dreams. I was dumped ~4 months ago, no contact ever since. I don't feel the urge to write her (she deserves nothing from me, not a single kind word), but I used to stalk her FB page a lot, but thank God I could stop that too long ago, and by now I do everything by the book. When I think about her (less and less frequently, though, sometimes I realize I haven't though about her for hours, which is awesome), I immediately try to divert my train of thoughts. So overall I'm doin fine, sometimes I even feel I'm almost over her. Which is good. However lately I started to dream about her A LOT. It's quite annoying as I can't control this. I have no problem falling asleep and, interesting enough, at nights when I go to bed I never think about her. Two days ago I had a dream with her family, now I had a very vivid dream with her kissing me (fun fact: she looked bad and she was very fat :DD). I'm not sad when I wake up but ANGRY at my brain (it sounds a bit crazy ), that it tries to hinder my healing process. So I know there is probably no way to grab my brain and beat the ***** out of it with my bare hands (or with tools, I don't care), but does anyone experience things like mine? Is there anything one can do about it?
xdahliax Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I always got a lot of dreams about people I had strong feelings for. They are never unattractive though, everything is always perfect. I normally wake up sad because I know what life could be if they were with me. There's nothing you can do about those dreams. The key is to stop making a big deal of them. Basically, we have to brush them off and not think them over when we wake up. I'm now at a point where most of the time, it means nothing to me anymore. There's no point in dwelling in the past or in what could be, we have to make our reality the best it can be. I do know that these dreams are less frequent as time passes, so that's comforting.
River Rain Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 You can't control what your brain is processing while you sleep...I'm sure it's aggravating since you're trying so hard not to think about her. I think as well, that time will take care of it and difficult as it might be, you need to do the same thing you do when you have a thought of her, when you wake up, immediately divert your thoughts and don't let anger take over. Why don't you try some meditation before you go to sleep? Calm your mind and clear your thoughts. It's worth a try. I'm plagued with a recurring nightmare I've had for the last 36 years, it's always the same and it varies as to the frequency when I have it. I find that stress release helps a lot for keeping the nightmare away.
Exit Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 I still have dreams of an ex almost a year later. It sucks. Some days it takes me a few hours to shake off the bad mood it puts me in after waking up. I had a good laugh last week though, when I had a dream about a girl from way back in elementary school. I wasn't sure why I would have had a dream about her, as we weren't really close back then and certainly haven't been in touch since then. Then it occurred to me, she has the same first name as my ex. So my brain was trying to torture me with another dream about my ex but dug into the wrong memory bank and I ended up having a dream about the wrong person with the right name lol. Not long before that I had a dream where I was kissing my ex and it was one of those hyper realistic dreams, after I woke up I could remember the texture of her lips and everything. But all that I had next to me when I woke up was a half empty bed. So that one sucked.
Jamesblame Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 Hey There. I understand how frustrating dreams can be, but i find them to be very helpful in moving on with emotions. Usually when I have a very painful, loving dream of an ex (and I did a lot midway through "recovery"), I would wake up really sad. But then...and here's the secret: I sat down and thought through the dream. What made me happy in it? Would that ever happen in real life? Could that happen in real life? And more importantly, following the logic of the dream, what would happen after that moment? What would have happened before that moment? Usually your brain puts in the pieces that tell you that the situation wouldn't have happened with a lot of crap. Or that something wasn't right. Dreams were instrumental in helping me get over my ex.
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