TempSain Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Originally posted by dudesomewhere the comments laid before you. Sure they may be the majority but I will not live my life by such basic of things. I am not a caveman afterall. I will allow such views from my forefathers clad in loin clothes but I will not give such leniency to any human in this day and age. It is time to evolve. And if you do not wish to, so be your path but do not claim it of others. There may be an exception here and there but only because they really don't know the truth either out of denial or ignorance. I am only telling you what you will realize someday on your own. You seem idealistic at the moment. I understand, I was once idealistic too. But as you experience things for yourself, you will realize that there are no perfect women in this world. There are no perfect relationship either and women for the most part use men to get what they want while using sex as a method of control. I am not jaded or angry by any means, just realistic after years of experience. Trust me, you will find out someday.
dudesomewhere Posted August 5, 2004 Posted August 5, 2004 I also am 31. I have already realized what many do. But the difference is people gave up on what those dreams and ideas were. Many people had them and they let those things die in the face of reality. But the problem is also that reality is just that so many gave up. I haven't given up. I refuse to give up. That is why I live as I do...that is why my ideas are as they are. Some women have commented how some of my remarks are childlike and I don't mind it...in fact I love it. Certain things should never change from when you were young...when your world was full of innocence. I came from a war torn country. I lived in a ghetto. The ghetto I grew up in was not a ghetto because the kids could not afford $100+ pair of sneakers. No, we worked hard and still sometimes starved. I worked in orange groves when I was 5 and haven't stopped since. Although the jobs have changed . You see the smile emoticon with which I use? It is because I don't give up hope. It is maybe knowing that the best things in life you work hard for because they can be difficult to obtain but knowing that you don't have to sacrifice yourself to obtain them. Some of us may never obtain that one true heart or the true heartS we seek but that does not mean we have to delve back into the shadows of our humanity. I used to ask myself why I was so idealistic...I couldn't answer. Than I asked myself was it pointless to be so idealistic...that I could answer. And it is not pointless to be idealistic. It is what you make of it...and if you make nothing of it...so too shall you have nothing in the end. It is knowing the realities of life but not giving up hope. If I may be metaphorical for a moment. Imagine a love one lost in the void and to guide them back home you are given naught but a candle. The void is dark and there is a constant wind. You light this candle and it struggles to hold its flame but you relight it again and again. You do what you will to guide that loved one back home...regardless of the effort involved. It is the effort that gives things meaning to those things that matter the most...it makes them all the more special. Yes I am idealistic, but I am so in the face of an unidealistic reality. It does not sway me that my views may be called impractical...to me they are beautiful views that I will always cherish. So...even if you were angry...where was that anger directed? If not yourself then why ever give up that which you cherished...whatever those things may be? I have experienced anger but I will always keep my flame lit...even when all is dark around me.
Author seahorse Posted August 5, 2004 Author Posted August 5, 2004 There are no perfect relationship either and women for the most part use men to get what they want while using sex as a method of control. I am not jaded or angry by any means, just realistic after years of experience. That is such a cynical comment, I can hardly believe it. I have never in my life used a man to get what I want. I have never used sex as a method of control...what an awful generalisation of the female sex. You obviously have been very unlucky in your choice of women. Most women just want to be loved and appreciated, the same with men I should think, from what others have posted here. Dudesomewhere, you stick to your guns, there's someone out there who'll appreciate you. In fact, If I wasn't already fixed up, I'd volunteer. seahorse
TempSain Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 Chill out people. Dudes: You can do as you please. I just hope that your dreams do come true and you prove me wrong. I don't want you to think that I am attacking you in anyway. I just think that realistically, what your looking for will not be found. You may find something that feels like it at the begining but as you get into a relationship, most women will change. And as they do, your dreams of the ultimate woman will shatter. By the time you realize what your searching for is not reality, you will be disgusted with relationships in general or maybe you will like the sorrow that you get from being lonely. To each his own. Seahorse: Maybe YOU haven't used sex as a method of control... (not yet), but there are plenty of women that do. And if you think that is a lie, just ask all the married men out there. I'm not here to win a nice guy contest. Just speaking from my experiences. And don't think that all of my experiences were bad or that I just had bad luck with women. I have had plenty of good ones.
Moose Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 For me, I wanted the family. Most of you know what kind of childhood I had, ( Not very Brady Bunch like ). Yeah, I want sex too, but to have the security of a faithfull, trustworthy, we ain't goin' nowhere family has always been what I wanted out of life. And I got it!!! That's why I always brag about being the, "Richest", man on earth.
Curt Posted August 7, 2004 Moderators Posted August 7, 2004 As I sit here in the pale light, at the end of a long day, we have just welcomed our younger brother home from another province. He is about to be married home here, on the 21st of the month. I had a look at his bride's wedding dress, that she had placed to keep tidy and "safe" in my closet. Lemme tell all of ya, as I looked at it, I thought of how his life was changing, and I truly realized how much I also want to see that change in my life too. I am nowhere close to it, but I know how important family is, even more today than ever. I had not been the best brother in the world (especially in our younger years together) but I know I love him, and want him to be happy. Perhaps I'll never have that very special woman in my life, the daughter whose eyes I so want to have the oppportunity to gaze in, the loving home built together, or the family reunions where we would get to share our happiness together. I definitely know how important all of them are to me though. Curt
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