ilovedhim Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 "Holding resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die" I was going through my old threads looking for this quote. It took me months but I finally understand it now. My previous relationship was a mess, and so was I. Honestly don't even recognize that person. Looking back, my ex and I were incompatible, our relationship was sick and miserable. And I was just as much to blame as he was.. .I would've never seen this a year ago. I've been NC 10 months now, and he has continued contacting me. Until last week when I finally handed my email to BF and asked him to deal with it. This ex has been married since the spring and has a child on the way. Just think about this.. . I could've ended up with this guy! The type that will leave a pregnant wife at home while he's out cheating. Many of you told me he probably changed or met someone compatible and may become a better person. Others said a leopard never changes his spots. But one piece of advice was always consistant.. .and that is remain NC. No matter what. Closure will come from within you. No answer to a question will suffice.. .there will always be more. ..and what does it matter anyway? Its over. Just forgive, let go, move on. Don't dwell on the past. That is the meaning of this quote. 3
sissy106 Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Closure will come from within you. No answer to a question will suffice.. .there will always be more. ..and what does it matter anyway? Its over. Just forgive, let go, move on. Don't dwell on the past. That is the meaning of this quote. I too was looking for this thing that u posted along with ur caption "Holding things....". Thanks. I share the same feelings.
theLWord Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Thanks for the post, this its really positive. I hope to feel this way one day as well. I'm remaining NC for sure. This will be day nine.
21flames Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Glad you have got to that point, it took you a while from reading you old posts but to be fair you had people telling you what he was up to and he kept contacting you which can't have helped.
River Rain Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 That's my attitude as well. I let myself feel the hurt, anger, resentment and disappointment, but then I let it go. You're right, what does it matter in the end? Why continue to torture myself by holding on? Just broke up with the bf this morning, after trying again, but he pulled the same old behaviour. I could be sitting here beating myself up, frowning and pursing my lips in bitterness...but I cried for hours, got angry, told him how I felt, and now I'm taking care of myself. I'll feel sad, but time will take care of that, but resentful? No, not healthy.
21flames Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 . This ex has been married since the spring and has a child on the way. Just think about this.. . I could've ended up with this guy! The type that will leave a pregnant wife at home while he's out cheating. You most certainly dodged the biggest bullet of your life there!!! I did too, cause she wants children ( Even though she acts like a child herself ) I can be thankful not to have brought new life in to the world with her then having her cheating behind my back while I'm left holding the baby...because she will, a leopard doesn't change it's spots, she has proved that over and over That can be for the new man if he is too blind and stupid to work her out 1
Author ilovedhim Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 You most certainly dodged the biggest bullet of your life there!!! I did too, cause she wants children ( Even though she acts like a child herself ) I can be thankful not to have brought new life in to the world with her then having her cheating behind my back while I'm left holding the baby...because she will, a leopard doesn't change it's spots, she has proved that over and over That can be for the new man if he is too blind and stupid to work her out Many people disagree but I really do believe once a cheater always a cheater. Don't look back
Author ilovedhim Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 That's my attitude as well. I let myself feel the hurt, anger, resentment and disappointment, but then I let it go. You're right, what does it matter in the end? Why continue to torture myself by holding on? Just broke up with the bf this morning, after trying again, but he pulled the same old behaviour. I could be sitting here beating myself up, frowning and pursing my lips in bitterness...but I cried for hours, got angry, told him how I felt, and now I'm taking care of myself. I'll feel sad, but time will take care of that, but resentful? No, not healthy. So sad isn't it... We forgive hoping they'll change but some people never do. Things will get better for you When someone shows you who they are, believe them..maya angelou (or was it oprah? ) 1
River Rain Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 So sad isn't it... We forgive hoping they'll change but some people never do. Things will get better for you When someone shows you who they are, believe them..maya angelou (or was it oprah? ) Yeah, things actually are better. I bounce back pretty quickly these days because my attitude is just that life is too short to waste time pining over things and people...he talked a good talk and I had a rough couple of days, but I will always move forward!
21flames Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 They Don't change because they don't think there is anything wrong with themselves or what they do or how they treat each other. You could be the pregnant one with him now and him texting his ex
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