keezlo Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I just found out that my boyfriend of 5 years "kissed" another girl. I did not even find out from him. The girl he was talking to for 3 MONTHS texted me and asking if I was his girlfriend again ( we have NEVER broken up in five years let me remind you). Of course me asking who this is numerous times she then goes on to say that he cheated on me with her. He met her at a skate park and they are in "love". They had sex and it was "more than just sex". She sent me texts of what he sent her saying he loved her and missed her. His side of the story? Those texts are edited how could I even love someone that I knew for only a couple of weeks? This is stupid. How could you believe someone rather than me. I only kissed her (no tongue) twice. I only met up with her 3 times: skate park, Walmart, lowes. I never went to her house. I love you. I know I messed up. Blah blah. I'm so confused on what to do. I love him so much, we have been through so much. I want to be with him but I cannot get over this. I want to beleive him but what if she was telling the truth. The worst thing about it is that of course after all of this I'm so obsessed on what he is doing on his phone. One night he fell asleep phone on chest and Yup, I took a little look see. I went to his email and there was a chicks butt in his "sent" folder. I woke him up furious than ever. He said it was hers. She sent them to him and he emailed it to himself. I asked what kind of pics he sent of himself to her. He gets defensive and says "NOTHING HAPPENED. I JUST KISSED HER AND WE HUNG OUT ACOUPLE OF TIMES. I JUST SENT HER PICS OF ME. NOTHING SEXUAL I PROMISE. " I was depressed for a week after finding this out. I find my self thinking about it constantly. Why he would do it after everything. I know it was just a kiss hopefully. But he still felt the need for some reason to cross that boundary line. He has dropped my self esteem so much. Am I not pretty enough for him anymore? Skinny enough? It just sucks because I thought our relationship was perfect. I never suspected a thing for three whole months. When I try to talk to him about it he asks like he does not even want to here what I have to say. He doesn't think it was cheating but to me if you knew you were in the wrong and still did it, its cheating. What do I do? I need advise. ASAP!!
kae Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Ok forget about if you love him! It will make you insecure because he doesn't love you the way you love him so u lose. Ask yourself if he takes care of you enough to play it off. If you want to keep him you have to "believe" him and play stupid and ignore that girl even exist.. Even if he keeps texting her. Sweet talk him, baby him don't over do it and stay calm and quiet. Don't let him guess ur thoughts and feelings.. Poker face time!! This was going to happen sooner or later. Don't fight with him he will run to her
kae Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 This is war between you and HER!! She knew he was ur man and didn't give a f#%*!
kae Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Most men are weakminded and selfish and don't see bitches coming:(
Author keezlo Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 I just found out that my boyfriend of 5 years "kissed" another girl. I did not even find out from him. The girl he was talking to for 3 MONTHS texted me and asking if I was his girlfriend again ( we have NEVER broken up in five years let me remind you). Of course me asking who this is numerous times she then goes on to say that he cheated on me with her. He met her at a skate park and they are in "love". They had sex and it was "more than just sex". She sent me texts of what he sent her saying he loved her and missed her. His side of the story? Those texts are edited how could I even love someone that I knew for only a couple of weeks? This is stupid. How could you believe someone rather than me. I only kissed her (no tongue) twice. I only met up with her 3 times: skate park, Walmart, lowes. I never went to her house. I love you. I know I messed up. Blah blah. I'm so confused on what to do. I love him so much, we have been through so much. I want to be with him but I cannot get over this. I want to beleive him but what if she was telling the truth. The worst thing about it is that of course after all of this I'm so obsessed on what he is doing on his phone. One night he fell asleep phone on chest and Yup, I took a little look see. I went to his email and there was a chicks butt in his "sent" folder. I woke him up furious than ever. He said it was hers. She sent them to him and he emailed it to himself. I asked what kind of pics he sent of himself to her. He gets defensive and says "NOTHING HAPPENED. I JUST KISSED HER AND WE HUNG OUT ACOUPLE OF TIMES. I JUST SENT HER PICS OF ME. NOTHING SEXUAL I PROMISE. " I was depressed for a week after finding this out. I find my self thinking about it constantly. Why he would do it after everything. I know it was just a kiss hopefully. But he still felt the need for some reason to cross that boundary line. He has dropped my self esteem so much. Am I not pretty enough for him anymore? Skinny enough? It just sucks because I thought our relationship was perfect. I never suspected a thing for three whole months. When I try to talk to him about it he asks like he does not even want to here what I have to say. He doesn't think it was cheating but to me if you knew you were in the wrong and still did it, its cheating. What do I do? I need advise. ASAP!! Also he said that the reason why she would lie is because "I ignored her every time she tried calling me and texting me. I didn't want anything to do with her anymore and she is just trying to get back at me. Everything she is saying is a lie."
Ami1uwant Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Has he admitted to you he slept with her? It really isnt hard for someone to cheat on you by having random sex. Just like it wouldnt be hard for you to cheat on someone. It is possible he is telling you that and she is saying she went around the bases with you because she is willing to take him from you. What you need to do is have him ask to open up everything...his cell phone is emails to you for you to see them. When you ask him this must be done then and there otherwise he will just delete all record. Why do people cheat....for some its just about sex and easy sex at that. For most its because there was an issue in the relationship that wasnt addressed or if it was it was an unsettled disagreement.
Author keezlo Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Has he admitted to you he slept with her? It really isnt hard for someone to cheat on you by having random sex. Just like it wouldnt be hard for you to cheat on someone. It is possible he is telling you that and she is saying she went around the bases with you because she is willing to take him from you. What you need to do is have him ask to open up everything...his cell phone is emails to you for you to see them. When you ask him this must be done then and there otherwise he will just delete all record. Why do people cheat....for some its just about sex and easy sex at that. For most its because there was an issue in the relationship that wasnt addressed or if it was it was an unsettled disagreement. He has told me it was nothing sexual just a kiss. There was nothing, I thought anyway, wrong with our relationship. Our friends always got mad at us because they hated seeing that sappy lovey dovey stuff all the time. We talk about everything so that's why I don't understand why he would hide this, or even do this to me knowing how bad it would hurt me.
Ami1uwant Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 He has told me it was nothing sexual just a kiss. There was nothing, I thought anyway, wrong with our relationship. Our friends always got mad at us because they hated seeing that sappy lovey dovey stuff all the time. We talk about everything so that's why I don't understand why he would hide this, or even do this to me knowing how bad it would hurt me. the sappy lovey dovey stuff was unrealistic. It sounds as if he used this with you as a cover that you wouldnt suspect him. Had he changed his personality you would have been alerted as if something was wrong. The question you need to ask him is why did he do this? It takes two people to kiss. I honestly dont believe she was the first one nor was this just a kiss.
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Look keezlo, mark my words, this guy is lying to you without a doubt and you'd be an utter fool to believe anything he says right now. He's in a complete defensive mode...he knows he screwed up, he knows he's guilty, he's been caught and busted. He's likely really angry at the other girl for selling him out and now he's going to push you away to try and make it feel like you did something wrong or to cause this when in all actuality he should take responsibility for his actions. But that's too hard, he's in denial and he's got to keep his story straight so he can lie to you, therefore the more questions you ask the more difficult and upsetting it is because he knows he doesn't have the ability to look at you in the face and lie to you and doesn't have the story together so he'd rather just ignore you. Look at it this way...who's the one that told you about this? him or her? so how in the world can you trust anything that comes out of his mouth when without her you'd be flopping along thinking all was wonderful and bright in your relationship...when clearly this guy doesn't feel the way about this relationship that you thought he did. If you were a rare breed, you'd pretty much walk away from this relationship now. However if you're like most of the other women in the world, you'll stick around, trying to fool yourself into believing his crap story that only you could be accept because you don't want to leave him and you think he loves you and this was just a "mistake" of course he'll do what he can to tell you what you want to hear, you'll be pissy and upset about it then you'll get over and keep fighting because you have "so much invested already ::swoon::" and maybe, things will get back to the way things were right? the little perfect picture you thought this relationship was? errr, sorry, wrong...it'll never be the same, you'll always question and wonder if he's up to anything and who he's talking to because guess what? it's not like he's going to tell you anything...you'll have to depend on the other girl telling you, which many do not because they think that guy is either available or willing to leave his "bad" relationship (in case you don't know men lie about their relationships victimizing themselves to make them look like good guys who are just broken little birdies that can't fly away from the big bad mean gf). If you knew how he acted and what he did with her, you'd be heartbroken in an instant, shattered into a million pieces...kissing with no tongue, ha! you know why he told you that? because he wants it to make it sound really simple and like nothing happened. The only exception I can see to this whole situation is if she had a really really good reason to lie about what they did, and is a vengeful and spiteful person that she just to throw him under the bus. However, that would be a rarity, and personally I have never seen that done myself...women are usually pretty honest and truthful, they don't want or like to keep secrets and if she really wanted to be with him or anything liek that then she'd have kept seeing him behind your back....but she said that she thought he was single and asked you if you were even back together...so that sound legitimate, I don't think she has a reason to lie to you from what you're describing. Bottom line, he's lied to you about everything and will downplay everything he did and said with her because he knows that you'll be broken over it...so if you want to continue then you damn well better believe you won't even know half of the truth, men simply are not that honest if they cheating. If you're strong enough by some miracle, walk away and show him that you took this relationship seriously and what he did really hurt. Or else you accepting him back in your life tells him he can now get away with this, and you can be pretty certain he'll do it again someday. The guy should be honest with himself and break up with you, even though you'd more than likely give chase because "does that it meant nothing!" so you'll have to try and get back on track just so you can believe it wasn't. But if he was really being honest with himself and with you, he'd walk away, apologize and simply tell you how he really feels and that he's not ready for a relationship or just simply wants to see other women. But you're the safety net, so he has that fear of walking away too, he doesn't know if he can do any better on his own. Most of these guys come crawling back to their ex's after they realize they're not as much of a ladies man as they thought they were. 2
phineas Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 If my GF got another guys number & met up with him alone i'd drop her. Regardless of how long we'd been together. Why? Because I wouldn't do that & I expect anyone i'm with to have the same morals. Oh and "just kissed" = way more than kissing. There might be a 1% chance that he only kissed her, but he met with her multiple times! Really? do men meet with women multiple times when their not looking for sex? Think about it. This wasn't some random. This was full on cheating on his part.
maybealone Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 For the sake of argument, let's say that he is telling the truth and only met her three times and only kissed her twice. To me, that would bother me more than random sex. He basically dated her three times, behind your back. Who knows what would have happened if they had gotten along great? He might have broken up with you for her. You two could possibly still be together because he just didn't get along with her as well as he does with you, or because she didn't want a relationship at the time. I think there are a lot of men out there that would rather be in an adequate relationship than be in no relationship at all. As hard as this is to believe, this has nothing to do with you. We can't make someone love us more, it is either there or it isn't. In my opinion, it is probably time to move on because you deserve someone who wants only you.
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