Misterlovalova Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Im a pretty good lookin 21 year old guy and when me and my ex broke up (about 3 years ago) I went to clubs and bars every friday and saturday night to kinda ease the pain of my broken heart. Every night I kissed with at least 1 girl, got a few numbers and had sex occasionaly. Im not the kinda guy that approaches women or inniates contact, ive never been. Instead, all the women ive hooked up with in the past, approached me first. In the club I usally just made eye contact and smiled and usally then they just came up to me and started talking. So basicly when I was 19 years old and had my first REAL heartbreak, I was going out every night and hooking up with girls like described above to ease the pain. I wasnt lookin for anything serious, cause all I wanted was my ex. Now im 21, still the same looking (kinda better imo, more muscle) but for some reason, I dont get that much attention/eye contact anymore when i go out... What could this be? I really REALLY want a serious relationship right now, can it be that girls see that or something and might think its needy? Or could it be a confidence thing? (wich I also allways wondered, girls say they are attracted to confidence, but HOW can they SEE if someone is confident? Can they actually see that?) I still look basicly the same, the only diffrence from when i was 19 is; my hair is slightly diffrend and I got more muscles.
dasein Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 It's a when it rains it pours thing. People are attuned to what is going on in the area, even if they aren't actively watching it. When women in wherever see or perceive other women attracted to you and accepting you, it arouses competitive instincts and raises your social value. The next time they see you, they may give more attention. This raises social value further. The effect snowballs until you have more than you want. Until the snowball starts rolling, you feel like something has changed, when the only thing that has changed is that women in the vicinity haven't seen the powerful social value of acceptance by other women yet or enough. If nothing else has changed in your appearance and charm, the snowball will roll again.
robaday Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 haha, im going thu exactly same thing bro and im 32! Contrast to you is that i was useless when i was your age, in fact until i was 24. Then 1 year relationship then heartbreak like you. A year of being celibate, then slept with 40 odd women in 2 years. Just got outta a 3 year relationship and have struggled to pick myself back up again. Last time we broke up for 3 months and i dated a lot of women in the interim. This time, one date in 3 months. But when your on that roll nothing can take you off!! think its two things - 1 women see that your popular with women. 2 you notice more women around you (more options) when your confident, whereas when your not you dont notice women looking at you. Once went out and took home four girls in five nights. Then went 3 months without even so much as a kiss.......what your going through is normal and nothing to do with age
GET_TO_DA_CHOPPA Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 So, you need a girl to get a girl? Huh. Why didn't I ever think of doing this?
robaday Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 haha.....it is flawed logic. No, its basically when you reach a stage in yourself when you dont need one......they notice you.....counter-intuitive. After that year of being celibate after being heartbroken, id gone from being severely depressed to actually really not giving a crap (i dont mean being cruel or not looking after myself, i mean when talking to women) its when you can say crude jokes, tease them, not kiss their bums or anything to a woman, just show them your not fazed by their beauty or anything.
GET_TO_DA_CHOPPA Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 haha.....it is flawed logic. No, its basically when you reach a stage in yourself when you dont need one......they notice you.....counter-intuitive. I've never "needed" someone else. I don't think anyone seems to notice that, then again, maybe I don't notice them either.
dasein Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 So, you need a girl to get a girl? Huh. Why didn't I ever think of doing this? You don't need a girl to get a girl, but OP asks why he had a bounty in the past and nada now. Social value and perceived social value among women in one's vicinity is a likely answer. The difference between walking into a bar or party with an attractive female friend and walking in alone is night and day.
GET_TO_DA_CHOPPA Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 You don't need a girl to get a girl, but OP asks why he had a bounty in the past and nada now. Social value and perceived social value among women in one's vicinity is a likely answer. The difference between walking into a bar or party with an attractive female friend and walking in alone is night and day. I guess so. Just seems silly if a girl would be less attracted to a guy because he's alone in a bar, if he's an attractive guy regardless of the circumstances.
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