Divasu Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 i am distancing myself for now. giving him space, hoping he'll contact me over the next week without me prompting it. but if not, i might just do that. one thing i definitely have to learn is to take things one day at a time. i'm very picky when it comes to dating, and so when i find someone who fits the bill (like random hugger), i get a little overzealous. and it's not like things gradually faded over time. we were talking regularly up until last friday, and then boom, it abruptly stopped. we chatted briefly halloween night, and nothing since then. "good luck-a-roo" made me smile too. hahaha, thanks. Are you just sending random texts regarding aliens in order to break the ice or did you actually ask him out? Forget about this "prompting" nonsense. If you like him, grab him by the balls and get yours! 1
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 I know the feeling, that overzealousness...and the abrupt end to the regular talking is puzzling, and to be honest, it probably stings a little too. it does sting a little. but that's just how i operate. not everyone likes to talk all the time, forever, like i do. so i just have to remind myself that everybody is different.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Are you just sending random texts regarding aliens in order to break the ice or did you actually ask him out? Forget about this "prompting" nonsense. If you like him, grab him by the balls and get yours! LOL, the texts i'm sending are greetings. the most recent one said "hey there. how's your weekend going?"
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 you know, there's a company called pimsleur which releases cd sets for language learning. i have one for norwegian that i got a few years ago. i agree that learning to accept the unchangeable can be very difficult, but once learned, very valuable. that is awesome, congratulations! lol, i think it's a good thing that you're limited to talking for right now. because honestly, that gives you a reason not to jump into anything physical too soon and you can focus on getting to know each other better before being able to meet in the springtime. Yeah he just wrote back and said I'd be worth the wait, gush... I don't want to treat this as a rebound for sure. He seems like a very nice guy. Are you of Norwegian descent? Thanks for that info, I just found the website!
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Yeah he just wrote back and said I'd be worth the wait, gush... I don't want to treat this as a rebound for sure. He seems like a very nice guy. Are you of Norwegian descent? Thanks for that info, I just found the website! awww, so sweet! i guess we'll see what happens then. no problem! i'm not of norwegian ancestry, no, but one of my favorite musical artists is, and that's what prompted me to learn.
Divasu Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 LOL, the texts i'm sending are greetings. the most recent one said "hey there. how's your weekend going?" Are you Hallmark? You not answer my question. Did you actually ask him out? I say because if you did and he hasn't been responding since then it sounds like it's dead in the water (at least for now for whatever reason). IF you haven't asked him out and your just keeping in touch through text, I'll be honest, it'll eventually fade out. Like I said, texting doesn't hold much weight without a deeper connection holding it together. But like I said, you had one date.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 it does sting a little. but that's just how i operate. not everyone likes to talk all the time, forever, like i do. so i just have to remind myself that everybody is different. I'm a chatty cathy that's for sure. I saw an episode of The Office once, and two of the characters were in different cities, and had those blue tooth thingies on so that they could be in touch with each other throughout the whole work day, and I thought, wow, what a great idea! But I could see how some guys would think that was a case of crazy, lol... 1
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 awww, so sweet! i guess we'll see what happens then. no problem! i'm not of norwegian ancestry, no, but one of my favorite musical artists is, and that's what prompted me to learn. Which artist? Yeah, I'm glad Newer Guy isn't into rushing things. I was a little afraid of the pending rejection if he wanted to move ahead quicker. But we're only a 2 hour drive from each other...if things go well, I live in spa-country...lots of places with outdoor hot tubs, would be a nice first date in the snowy winter!
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Are you Hallmark? You not answer my question. Did you actually ask him out? I say because if you did and he hasn't been responding since then it sounds like it's dead in the water (at least for now for whatever reason). IF you haven't asked him out and your just keeping in touch through text, I'll be honest, it'll eventually fade out. Like I said, texting doesn't hold much weight without a deeper connection holding it together. But like I said, you had one date. yes, yes i am hallmark. just kidding. no, i haven't actually asked him out. my theory was that i didn't want to ask him on another date unless he answered my hello text, because then at least we'd be in the middle of conversation. do you think i should just ask him?
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Which artist? Yeah, I'm glad Newer Guy isn't into rushing things. I was a little afraid of the pending rejection if he wanted to move ahead quicker. But we're only a 2 hour drive from each other...if things go well, I live in spa-country...lots of places with outdoor hot tubs, would be a nice first date in the snowy winter! her name is maria mena. have you heard of her? that's great! distance can sometimes be a factor but i think if both people are willing to put in effort, it can definitely work out for the better.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 her name is maria mena. have you heard of her? that's great! distance can sometimes be a factor but i think if both people are willing to put in effort, it can definitely work out for the better. No I've never heard of her, but omg, I just watched her video for Just Hold Me and I'm like close to tears...is she singing about me and my ex? Yeesh. She has a nice voice. That's the whole thing with LDR's, it's the effort. My last one didn't work because he didn't put in the effort. I'm near Montreal, and he lived near Vancouver, and it was all about the communication, sadly he didn't try. But there are lots of fish in the proverbial sea right? I think that I want to find a guy much closer this time around though, or at least living near Ottawa, which is where I'm moving next spring for school.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 No I've never heard of her, but omg, I just watched her video for Just Hold Me and I'm like close to tears...is she singing about me and my ex? Yeesh. She has a nice voice. That's the whole thing with LDR's, it's the effort. My last one didn't work because he didn't put in the effort. I'm near Montreal, and he lived near Vancouver, and it was all about the communication, sadly he didn't try. But there are lots of fish in the proverbial sea right? I think that I want to find a guy much closer this time around though, or at least living near Ottawa, which is where I'm moving next spring for school. i love that song! omg, she is my absolute favorite. my last LDR didn't work out either, for the same reason. and i'm also the kind of person who needs to see his partner, so even if effort to keep things afloat is put forth by both sides, if we're not seeing each other, i don't think it'll work. indeed there are lots of fish in this proverbial sea!
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 i love that song! omg, she is my absolute favorite. my last LDR didn't work out either, for the same reason. and i'm also the kind of person who needs to see his partner, so even if effort to keep things afloat is put forth by both sides, if we're not seeing each other, i don't think it'll work. indeed there are lots of fish in this proverbial sea! It's the longing that got to me the most. Like you, I wanted so badly to see him, but knowing I couldn't just wrecked my spirit most days, so yeah, LDR's...not something I want to try again if at all possible. So what are you going to do? Ask random hugger out officially or what? Take that risk? Scary stuff!
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 It's the longing that got to me the most. Like you, I wanted so badly to see him, but knowing I couldn't just wrecked my spirit most days, so yeah, LDR's...not something I want to try again if at all possible. So what are you going to do? Ask random hugger out officially or what? Take that risk? Scary stuff! i too am dissuaded from trying an LDR again...just not our thing. i don't know, i am tempted to shoot him a text right now and just be like "yo, is your ass still interested in another date? if yes, let's go!" haha, i wouldn't put it quite like that though. but on the other hand i feel slightly annoying for having texted him and getting no response. what do you think?
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 i too am dissuaded from trying an LDR again...just not our thing. i don't know, i am tempted to shoot him a text right now and just be like "yo, is your ass still interested in another date? if yes, let's go!" haha, i wouldn't put it quite like that though. but on the other hand i feel slightly annoying for having texted him and getting no response. what do you think? Honestly, I'd just do it. I mean...you're in limbo at the moment, it doesn't look pushy at all. He didn't answer the last one...so that could make it risky, but my philosophy is just to ask for what you want, but be prepared not to get it. Are you prepared for that? If so, yes, ask his ass if he wants to see you again The LDR's...I'm in limbo also. See, I have to live here until April...I don't want to meet a guy here since I'm leaving, and if I go onto the dating sites to meet someone in Ottawa, I can't really commit until 6 months from now...unless I agree to the LDR...it's a conundrum and brings on lots of loneliness. I feel kind of like I have no choice but to go for a LDR at this point if I even want to meet anyone. I don't want to sit around alone for the next half year...but I know how challenging the LDR can be and what my limitations are...venting a little, but it's kind of frustrating at the same time.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Honestly, I'd just do it. I mean...you're in limbo at the moment, it doesn't look pushy at all. He didn't answer the last one...so that could make it risky, but my philosophy is just to ask for what you want, but be prepared not to get it. Are you prepared for that? If so, yes, ask his ass if he wants to see you again The LDR's...I'm in limbo also. See, I have to live here until April...I don't want to meet a guy here since I'm leaving, and if I go onto the dating sites to meet someone in Ottawa, I can't really commit until 6 months from now...unless I agree to the LDR...it's a conundrum and brings on lots of loneliness. I feel kind of like I have no choice but to go for a LDR at this point if I even want to meet anyone. I don't want to sit around alone for the next half year...but I know how challenging the LDR can be and what my limitations are...venting a little, but it's kind of frustrating at the same time. i think i am more prepared not to get it than i am to get it. when things were going well with random hugger i always thought it was too good to be true. so far, this is proving me right. maybe i'll just go with something simple like "are you still interested in seeing me again?" and leave it at that. hmm, yeah, that seems like quite the conundrum. i was in a similar situation last fall when i moved upstate. i ended up moving back home, lol, but still. you can never be too sure what to do in these situations. :/
Divasu Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 yes, yes i am hallmark. just kidding. no, i haven't actually asked him out. my theory was that i didn't want to ask him on another date unless he answered my hello text, because then at least we'd be in the middle of conversation. do you think i should just ask him? Well I am not sure what you are waiting for but like I said, it's hard to advance a relationship in general based solely on text message banter. There are people who are very much into it and base their thoughts and feelings on text correspondence, you hear it all the time (two people corresponding for months online and falling in love). I personally don't believe that is possible, but no theory is 100% factual when it comes to matters of the heart. I've never fallen in love that way, there must be human one-on-one interaction accompanied/in addition to non-inperson communication. But I am probably a bit more older than you and texting was not as "depended upon" as it is today. If you want to just keep things light and casual, just keep texting and go from there. It really boils down to what you're looking for. So you have three options - you guys can remain texting buddies, pen pals, whichever OR try to advance things by suggesting getting together (like I've mentioned numberous times thus far) or forget about him altogether. You can't force anybody to do something through "prompting", if you want something, ask for it or put the words in motion and lead through action. Save the daily contact and tons of texting for when you're actually in a relationship and by then you most likely won't worry whether or not it takes someone a couple hours to respond or whichever, because your interaction won't merely be based on texting but something a bit deeper and evolved. 1
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 i think i am more prepared not to get it than i am to get it. when things were going well with random hugger i always thought it was too good to be true. so far, this is proving me right. maybe i'll just go with something simple like "are you still interested in seeing me again?" and leave it at that. hmm, yeah, that seems like quite the conundrum. i was in a similar situation last fall when i moved upstate. i ended up moving back home, lol, but still. you can never be too sure what to do in these situations. :/ That's me overthinking again, I just have to take things as they come. I mean Newer Guy seems okay with waiting a little while, so why am I worried? Yeah, nip it in the bud, just ask him. See what he says, I think that's a good question to ask. And if the answer is silence, then you know the hearsay is right and he is a closet 17-year old boy (no offence to teens out there, lol), just in context of what we were talking about.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 That's me overthinking again, I just have to take things as they come. I mean Newer Guy seems okay with waiting a little while, so why am I worried? Yeah, nip it in the bud, just ask him. See what he says, I think that's a good question to ask. And if the answer is silence, then you know the hearsay is right and he is a closet 17-year old boy (no offence to teens out there, lol), just in context of what we were talking about. Everything with newer guy will work out if it's meant to, right? Well, I did it. And it paid off! He said sure thing. a teeny part of me feels like he just said yes to be nice. But then I snap out of it and think, who does that?
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Everything with newer guy will work out if it's meant to, right? Well, I did it. And it paid off! He said sure thing. a teeny part of me feels like he just said yes to be nice. But then I snap out of it and think, who does that? *clapping hands* Good! And look at all the worry you had about it...dating can be hell sometimes! Yes, snap out of it, he said yes, so don't try to create scenarios that don't exist!!! Newer guy just sent me this: "Well I was just being honest.You are nice,beautiful,honest and simple just like me.As long as you don't mind I am a little younger then its all good." :) Makes me feel good.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 *clapping hands* Good! And look at all the worry you had about it...dating can be hell sometimes! Yes, snap out of it, he said yes, so don't try to create scenarios that don't exist!!! Newer guy just sent me this: "Well I was just being honest.You are nice,beautiful,honest and simple just like me.As long as you don't mind I am a little younger then its all good." :) Makes me feel good. I'm so excited! I'm like a giddy little schoolgirl. Lol awww, he is putting you first and taking your feelings into consideration. That is awesome.
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 I'm so excited! I'm like a giddy little schoolgirl. Lol awww, he is putting you first and taking your feelings into consideration. That is awesome. Lol, you're so cute. See, look at what this thread has brought us? You got a second date with random hugger, and I found a newer guy who is willing to wait a while to meet me...gotta love the internet forum community, lol...
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 Lol, you're so cute. See, look at what this thread has brought us? You got a second date with random hugger, and I found a newer guy who is willing to wait a while to meet me...gotta love the internet forum community, lol... Lol, I love this place. And it brought us together. How cool is that? did you ever heart back from new guy?
River Rain Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Lol, I love this place. And it brought us together. How cool is that? did you ever heart back from new guy? No, never heard back...but in a way I didn't expect to because I may have pushed him away a little bit. But he's not very technically inclined...he's the one with no cell phone, and he only checks his email once or twice a week, so he told me. I figure if I don't hear from him by the weekend, I probably won't. But it's okay, I blew my chance possibly with him and I accept that, though it still sucks! Yes, it did bring us together, very cool. I'm glad we were able to talk each other through some stuff the last few days, I love this forum. I originally joined back at the beginning of October when the ex first dumped me, and the people here are awesome for the most part. There are always the trolls and really nasty-bitter people, but overall, I've felt very welcomed and got lots of good advice here, so I love to give it back.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 No, never heard back...but in a way I didn't expect to because I may have pushed him away a little bit. But he's not very technically inclined...he's the one with no cell phone, and he only checks his email once or twice a week, so he told me. I figure if I don't hear from him by the weekend, I probably won't. But it's okay, I blew my chance possibly with him and I accept that, though it still sucks! Yes, it did bring us together, very cool. I'm glad we were able to talk each other through some stuff the last few days, I love this forum. I originally joined back at the beginning of October when the ex first dumped me, and the people here are awesome for the most part. There are always the trolls and really nasty-bitter people, but overall, I've felt very welcomed and got lots of good advice here, so I love to give it back. i don't know how you survive in this world today without a cell phone. unless you're elderly, you have no excuse. and even then, the older generation is starting to use cell phones! yeah, i can imagine it still sucks. but when one door closes, another opens, and this particular one opened up to newer guy. we're very similar in that we both joined loveshack in times of heartache...you obviously on a more dire level than me, but still. so far i haven't had any encounters with any trolls or bitter asshats, but i'm sure i'll enjoy it when i do. haha
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