Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Ha ha...brutal honesty rules, it's the only way to go. Enjoy the butterflies cautiously? Is that even possible? I have butterflies when I think of New Guy, but there is no reason for me to believe he could still be interested, I still think about him though and it gives me happy. I'm not a multi-dater at all. I just prefer to focus on one guy at a time. I mean, in the getting to know you stage, I don't mind chatting with other guys, but once any type of romantic suggestion is on the table, I zone in on that one Oh, the random hug thing? I'm TOTALLY stealing that line and putting it on my dating profile, lol...that's awesome! I'm a hugger! i do get butterflies when i think of this guy, but i feel like they shouldn't be there. oh well, i'm trying to keep my spirits up. :3 i'm not actually a multi-dater like i implied. i just mean that in the very beginning i don't see anything wrong with talking to different guys if the opportunities present themselves. but once i get attached, which happens quite soon for me, i stick with one. lol, i'm a hugger too! i love hugs. and cuddling.
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 i do get butterflies when i think of this guy, but i feel like they shouldn't be there. oh well, i'm trying to keep my spirits up. :3 i'm not actually a multi-dater like i implied. i just mean that in the very beginning i don't see anything wrong with talking to different guys if the opportunities present themselves. but once i get attached, which happens quite soon for me, i stick with one. lol, i'm a hugger too! i love hugs. and cuddling. Yeah, at the beginning, which is where I'm at right now, I'm chatting with a few different guys. So far the only one that interests me is New Guy, but I'll keep chatting away until I (hopefully) hear from him. I get attached quickly too, and I don't think you should deny your butterflies for Random Hugger because that just shows you really like him, nothing wrong with that. You're prepared in case he never responds, it's kind of the way it goes sometimes. You know, I haven't dated in nearly 20 years, I'm finding it exciting, yet challenging to get over the little rejections. I just keep reminding myself that there is someone out there for me, and I'll find him...but I need to keep looking and starting fresh when things don't pan out.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Yeah, at the beginning, which is where I'm at right now, I'm chatting with a few different guys. So far the only one that interests me is New Guy, but I'll keep chatting away until I (hopefully) hear from him. I get attached quickly too, and I don't think you should deny your butterflies for Random Hugger because that just shows you really like him, nothing wrong with that. You're prepared in case he never responds, it's kind of the way it goes sometimes. You know, I haven't dated in nearly 20 years, I'm finding it exciting, yet challenging to get over the little rejections. I just keep reminding myself that there is someone out there for me, and I'll find him...but I need to keep looking and starting fresh when things don't pan out. i also like to keep myself occupied by talking to other people. in a way it seems misleading, because it's almost as if i'm not interested in them, only using them to pass the time while waiting for that text from random hugger. but you'd be surprised at how things turn out sometimes. i am sure we will both hear from our guys sooner or later. at least, one can hope. i would say if it's meant to be, he'll contact you. but i like being in control, so usually i'm doing the contacting. my last real relationship was 2 years ago, almost 3 now. i am definitely ready to find a guy to call mine, so we'll see what happens here.
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 i also like to keep myself occupied by talking to other people. in a way it seems misleading, because it's almost as if i'm not interested in them, only using them to pass the time while waiting for that text from random hugger. but you'd be surprised at how things turn out sometimes. i am sure we will both hear from our guys sooner or later. at least, one can hope. i would say if it's meant to be, he'll contact you. but i like being in control, so usually i'm doing the contacting. my last real relationship was 2 years ago, almost 3 now. i am definitely ready to find a guy to call mine, so we'll see what happens here. Well, if you look at it this way, you're chatting with new guys, maybe not interested at the moment, because your heart is hoping for random hugger, but if that doesn't work out, you might see potential in some of the guys you're chatting with now. That's how I'm looking at it and I'm keeping it very friendly because I don't want to lead anyone on. New Guy did tell me a week or so ago that his life is terribly hectic, and I don't think that was just an excuse. I know he works like crazy, he volunteers and also is very active in martial arts...swoon......and he's cute, sigh. Patience and distraction is working for me today! Oh and a glass of Chardonnay or two with dinner
NateC Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 It depends on the person if they like texting or not. Personally I like it because I can still have a conversation with someone while at work or busy doing other things. Nothing beats personal face-to-face interaction, but with a heavy schedule it can be difficult sometimes. That said, I've started talking with a girl a few weeks ago that I met online and my cell phone bill said I used over 4000 messages that month. Unlimited is nice for that. 1
River Rain Posted November 4, 2012 Posted November 4, 2012 That said, I've started talking with a girl a few weeks ago that I met online and my cell phone bill said I used over 4000 messages that month. Unlimited is nice for that. Oh that's great. I hope it goes well with her.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 Well, if you look at it this way, you're chatting with new guys, maybe not interested at the moment, because your heart is hoping for random hugger, but if that doesn't work out, you might see potential in some of the guys you're chatting with now. That's how I'm looking at it and I'm keeping it very friendly because I don't want to lead anyone on. New Guy did tell me a week or so ago that his life is terribly hectic, and I don't think that was just an excuse. I know he works like crazy, he volunteers and also is very active in martial arts...swoon......and he's cute, sigh. Patience and distraction is working for me today! Oh and a glass of Chardonnay or two with dinner that is a very good way to look at things! there actually is another guy i'm slightly interested in. but since my heart seems to want random hugger at the moment, i'm trying to let things take their course. the only stipulation about this other guy is that he is 34...i'm 21. i think age is just a number, but i always told myself that 10 years older is the limit for me. but he seems like he could be an exception. back to random hugger: i found out earlier from our mutual friend that emotionally he can be like a 17 year-old. this is disappointing/discouraging. but it even further explains his lack of communication. on one hand, i don't think i'd want to be with someone like that. but on the other hand, i still do want the chance to find out for myself. am i putting way too much effort in here? or am i just a decent person? :/ patience and distraction are virtues, and i'm glad they're working for you! same for me today. i've been in a good mood all day.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 4, 2012 Author Posted November 4, 2012 It depends on the person if they like texting or not. Personally I like it because I can still have a conversation with someone while at work or busy doing other things. Nothing beats personal face-to-face interaction, but with a heavy schedule it can be difficult sometimes. That said, I've started talking with a girl a few weeks ago that I met online and my cell phone bill said I used over 4000 messages that month. Unlimited is nice for that. that is exactly why i like it as well. and that's awesome man, good luck.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 that is a very good way to look at things! there actually is another guy i'm slightly interested in. but since my heart seems to want random hugger at the moment, i'm trying to let things take their course. the only stipulation about this other guy is that he is 34...i'm 21. i think age is just a number, but i always told myself that 10 years older is the limit for me. but he seems like he could be an exception. back to random hugger: i found out earlier from our mutual friend that emotionally he can be like a 17 year-old. this is disappointing/discouraging. but it even further explains his lack of communication. on one hand, i don't think i'd want to be with someone like that. but on the other hand, i still do want the chance to find out for myself. am i putting way too much effort in here? or am i just a decent person? :/ patience and distraction are virtues, and i'm glad they're working for you! same for me today. i've been in a good mood all day. 34 for a 21 year old isn't that old. Last month I was on OKCupid and I got interest from a 23 year old, I'm 44. He really wanted to hook up and was persistent! It was all about sex for him, but I also met a 28 year old too who wanted to get into a long-term situation with me. I didn't object due to his age, it was just the compatibility wasn't there. But yes, keep talking with men, you never know who could be the one to rock your socks off Hmmm...random hugger can act like a 17-year old...but that's just hearsay...like you said earlier, just find out on your own! He may have been that way with other guys, but not necessarily that way with someone new...but you still have to wait to see if he responds first, don't overthink it too much, you'll drive yourself loony.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 34 for a 21 year old isn't that old. Last month I was on OKCupid and I got interest from a 23 year old, I'm 44. He really wanted to hook up and was persistent! It was all about sex for him, but I also met a 28 year old too who wanted to get into a long-term situation with me. I didn't object due to his age, it was just the compatibility wasn't there. But yes, keep talking with men, you never know who could be the one to rock your socks off Hmmm...random hugger can act like a 17-year old...but that's just hearsay...like you said earlier, just find out on your own! He may have been that way with other guys, but not necessarily that way with someone new...but you still have to wait to see if he responds first, don't overthink it too much, you'll drive yourself loony. see, i am so past hooking up. i've done it in the past, don't regret it; who knows, i might do it in the future. but it leaves me feeling empty and not too great. compatibility definitely is a must, obviously, and you're right- you never know who will come and sweep you off your feet! yes, you are absolutely right. i plan to find out for myself. i've been told lately that after just one date, it's still too soon to go on. so hopefully there will be more sometime soon. i can't imagine being dropped just like that. and don't you worry- i already drive myself loony. random, but are you french-canadian? do you speak french?
irc333 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I'm a texting hater. I just find the whole thing a little sterile. Sure I've texted before, but it kind of creates a false sense of expectation, that I personally don't like at all. Maybe I'm old school, but I'm more into real conversation, over the telephone or even better, in person. I think it was a dealbreaker for a woman I met online. It was a shame, she lived rather locally to me, too. We were emailing back and forth, and I asked her for her phone #, she said, "I prefer to text than talk on the phone, I'm a mulitasker." And I said I wasn't much for conversations when it comes to texting, too impersonal. Even if i did, it takes me for ever to even text a sentence. lol Never heard back from her again. I found it odd, because she was in her mid 40's.
irc333 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I'm a texting hater. I just find the whole thing a little sterile. Sure I've texted before, but it kind of creates a false sense of expectation, that I personally don't like at all. Maybe I'm old school, but I'm more into real conversation, over the telephone or even better, in person. I think it was a dealbreaker for a woman I met online. It was a shame, she lived rather locally to me, too. We were emailing back and forth, and I asked her for her phone #, she said, "I prefer to text than talk on the phone, I'm a mulitasker." And I said I wasn't much for conversations when it comes to texting, too impersonal. Even if i did, it takes me for ever to even text a sentence. lol Never heard back from her again. I found it odd, because she was in her mid 40's.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I think it was a dealbreaker for a woman I met online. It was a shame, she lived rather locally to me, too. We were emailing back and forth, and I asked her for her phone #, she said, "I prefer to text than talk on the phone, I'm a mulitasker." And I said I wasn't much for conversations when it comes to texting, too impersonal. Even if i did, it takes me for ever to even text a sentence. lol Never heard back from her again. I found it odd, because she was in her mid 40's. That's such a turnoff...she has to multi-task you into her life? I would have lost interest immediately, I need to feel a little more important than that.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 see, i am so past hooking up. i've done it in the past, don't regret it; who knows, i might do it in the future. but it leaves me feeling empty and not too great. compatibility definitely is a must, obviously, and you're right- you never know who will come and sweep you off your feet! yes, you are absolutely right. i plan to find out for myself. i've been told lately that after just one date, it's still too soon to go on. so hopefully there will be more sometime soon. i can't imagine being dropped just like that. and don't you worry- i already drive myself loony. random, but are you french-canadian? do you speak french? Born in Montreal, I'm English, but perfectly bilingual, you have to be to live in this province! Having a second language is always a good thing though. I'm so past hooking up too, though it was flattering, it would have left me feeling empty too. It's hard to be dropped...I think that rejection is the worst feeling.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Born in Montreal, I'm English, but perfectly bilingual, you have to be to live in this province! Having a second language is always a good thing though. I'm so past hooking up too, though it was flattering, it would have left me feeling empty too. It's hard to be dropped...I think that rejection is the worst feeling. ah, i speak a little french! i would like to become bilingual in it, and spanish. when i eventually have kids, i would like to raise them in a bilingual household. personally, i am a very hardheaded, stubborn individual. i NEED a reason or the logic and if there isn't one, i get frustrated because it doesn't make sense. and then there's no closure, and then i go crazy.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 ah, i speak a little french! i would like to become bilingual in it, and spanish. when i eventually have kids, i would like to raise them in a bilingual household. personally, i am a very hardheaded, stubborn individual. i NEED a reason or the logic and if there isn't one, i get frustrated because it doesn't make sense. and then there's no closure, and then i go crazy. I took some Spanish at university back in the day, but kind of lost it all. I found it's very similar to French actually. I'd like to learn Italian too at some point. I even tried to learn Gaelic!! Wow...that was a challenge and I admit I gave it up! I have Scottish ancestry so I figured I should learn the language of my people, lol...not in this lifetime, ha ha...plus it's like...how would I practice? Who fluently speaks Scottish Gaelic these days? I think having a second and third language is such a great thing to have, it really opens up all sorts of opportunities work-wise. Plus I love to learn, so for me it would be about the knowledge. I'm a "why?" person too, maybe not as hardheaded as you, lol...but I need to see the logic in things too or I go crazy. But sometimes I have to just give it up if there seems to be no sensible answer.
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 I took some Spanish at university back in the day, but kind of lost it all. I found it's very similar to French actually. I'd like to learn Italian too at some point. I even tried to learn Gaelic!! Wow...that was a challenge and I admit I gave it up! I have Scottish ancestry so I figured I should learn the language of my people, lol...not in this lifetime, ha ha...plus it's like...how would I practice? Who fluently speaks Scottish Gaelic these days? I think having a second and third language is such a great thing to have, it really opens up all sorts of opportunities work-wise. Plus I love to learn, so for me it would be about the knowledge. I'm a "why?" person too, maybe not as hardheaded as you, lol...but I need to see the logic in things too or I go crazy. But sometimes I have to just give it up if there seems to be no sensible answer. i just love language in general. i was never fluent in spanish, but i took it for 7 years from elementary school through high school. i think it's awesome that you were learning gaelic! i have a friend who is irish and used to carry around an irish gaelic dictionary with him. lol, i'm not as hardheaded as i made myself seem. i've recently learned to accept things more.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 i just love language in general. i was never fluent in spanish, but i took it for 7 years from elementary school through high school. i think it's awesome that you were learning gaelic! i have a friend who is irish and used to carry around an irish gaelic dictionary with him. lol, i'm not as hardheaded as i made myself seem. i've recently learned to accept things more. I just have to get my act together and get some of those lessons on CDRom or something to that effect. It's the pronunciation I find terribly difficult. But I guess with everything it's all about practice. Learning to accept that what we cannot change...difficult but a very important lesson to learn. I keep reminding myself of that. Oh guess what, I just got asked out on a date, little ol' me. I'll call him Newer Guy, lol...I've been chatting with a guy since yesterday, it's just been friendly then boom, he asks. Problem is we live pretty far away from each other, but it's where I'm relocating in the spring. I told him honestly that it might be tough with the distance for now, but that I see it in our future and would he like to keep getting to know each other. Was that cheesy? I'm so green when it comes to dating!
Divasu Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Yes, I agree. But as I mentioned above, I am trying to set up a second date with this guy so that we can have physical contact. But I can't do that if he won't respond to me. Which I guess should be my answer as to whether or not he's worth it. Oh, gotcha. Just say something like "hi, I'd like to take you out if you're free next <insert day>, if not no biggie". If he doesn't answer or you get voicemail, just leave it on there. Anything else and you're way in over your head after ONE date. Give it a few before you declare your undying love. Good luck-a-roo!
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Good luck-a-roo! ^^ this made me smile. I'm going to add that to my current vocabulary
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Oh, gotcha. Just say something like "hi, I'd like to take you out if you're free next <insert day>, if not no biggie". If he doesn't answer or you get voicemail, just leave it on there. Anything else and you're way in over your head after ONE date. Give it a few before you declare your undying love. Good luck-a-roo! i am distancing myself for now. giving him space, hoping he'll contact me over the next week without me prompting it. but if not, i might just do that. one thing i definitely have to learn is to take things one day at a time. i'm very picky when it comes to dating, and so when i find someone who fits the bill (like random hugger), i get a little overzealous. and it's not like things gradually faded over time. we were talking regularly up until last friday, and then boom, it abruptly stopped. we chatted briefly halloween night, and nothing since then. "good luck-a-roo" made me smile too. hahaha, thanks.
Divasu Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 ^^ this made me smile. I'm going to add that to my current vocabulary That will cost you one sawbuck. 1
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 That will cost you one sawbuck. LOL...I only have two fins, but that should cover it
Author jefermelesyeux Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 I just have to get my act together and get some of those lessons on CDRom or something to that effect. It's the pronunciation I find terribly difficult. But I guess with everything it's all about practice. Learning to accept that what we cannot change...difficult but a very important lesson to learn. I keep reminding myself of that. Oh guess what, I just got asked out on a date, little ol' me. I'll call him Newer Guy, lol...I've been chatting with a guy since yesterday, it's just been friendly then boom, he asks. Problem is we live pretty far away from each other, but it's where I'm relocating in the spring. I told him honestly that it might be tough with the distance for now, but that I see it in our future and would he like to keep getting to know each other. Was that cheesy? I'm so green when it comes to dating! you know, there's a company called pimsleur which releases cd sets for language learning. i have one for norwegian that i got a few years ago. i agree that learning to accept the unchangeable can be very difficult, but once learned, very valuable. that is awesome, congratulations! lol, i think it's a good thing that you're limited to talking for right now. because honestly, that gives you a reason not to jump into anything physical too soon and you can focus on getting to know each other better before being able to meet in the springtime.
River Rain Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 i am distancing myself for now. giving him space, hoping he'll contact me over the next week without me prompting it. but if not, i might just do that. one thing i definitely have to learn is to take things one day at a time. i'm very picky when it comes to dating, and so when i find someone who fits the bill (like random hugger), i get a little overzealous. and it's not like things gradually faded over time. we were talking regularly up until last friday, and then boom, it abruptly stopped. we chatted briefly halloween night, and nothing since then. "good luck-a-roo" made me smile too. hahaha, thanks. I know the feeling, that overzealousness...and the abrupt end to the regular talking is puzzling, and to be honest, it probably stings a little too. 1
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