Ascendingspark Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I understand the why, it's the how that has really baffled me on how some people treat others. 10 months, and this is what I get? Ok, she want to break up, shows up after I get home from work do it in person, without a single clue on my part what is about to go down. I go to give her a hug, and she flinch's away as if I am some contagious disease. Suddenly I know somethings wrong, and I start to listen to this half ass story how we aren't a together forever couple, I wont bend over backwards for her, I'm never around during the weekdays, the list goes on filling me with self doubt. I of course would like to talk this out, find out what we can fix, what I can do to make it better, because I would drop anything to help or make her feel better. She doesn't want to talk and needs time alone, etc. Already she has un-freinded all Facebook ties with anyone of mine she knows. I felt set up and stupid by this point. I text a couple times, trying to defend myself, working almost 60 hours a week, why didn't she ever talk or ask. How just 5 days ago she sat with my parents and planned a thanksgiving dinner with both our families. She finally doesnt want to talk about it and turns off her phone. I hear nothing until Sunday when I wake up early. I decided I would looked on Facebook, she rarely posts much anyway. What I see is smiley face with another guy posted up on Saturday. I see a comment from hr friend, "nothing a few drinks wont cure." I guess that's my supposed to be my way to cope? So I text her, telling her I thought she was a better person then that. I get the reply- " All I know is I didn't want to hurt you and I know that I did. " From what I have been told she met this guy jogging and within 4 days, as she calls it, its "love". I see now who she is, and how shallow her world must really be. I thought we had things in common, both married to alcoholic ex's, getting ourselves back in shape, and dating slow and getting it right this time. She was a year ahead of me on getting in shape, and I guess she finally realized how good she looked and found someone hopefully as shallow as she is. I realized today why she lied in my face, she would have had to face the facts how horrible her actions are and explain it. I don't think she has a care in the world about my feelings or anyone's really. I feel like telling her how I feel, and wishing someone would tell just tell how low her actions are, but I tell myself she wont care anyway. I'm probably letting her off the hook too easy, but I feel like it would be a waste of time. I know I have my flaws, but to put that much self doubt in someone when its all BS, just so you can have what you think is a better looking guy. I know this will make me stronger, and I'll move on. I've lost 60 pounds this year and now I'm hitting the gym. I just hope I can still be the same person I am now and not so shallow when I hit my goals for being healthier.
ReadMyThread Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I understand the why, it's the how that has really baffled me on how some people treat others. 10 months, and this is what I get? Ok, she want to break up, shows up after I get home from work do it in person, without a single clue on my part what is about to go down. I go to give her a hug, and she flinch's away as if I am some contagious disease. Suddenly I know somethings wrong, and I start to listen to this half ass story how we aren't a together forever couple, I wont bend over backwards for her, I'm never around during the weekdays, the list goes on filling me with self doubt. I of course would like to talk this out, find out what we can fix, what I can do to make it better, because I would drop anything to help or make her feel better. She doesn't want to talk and needs time alone, etc. Already she has un-freinded all Facebook ties with anyone of mine she knows. I felt set up and stupid by this point. I text a couple times, trying to defend myself, working almost 60 hours a week, why didn't she ever talk or ask. How just 5 days ago she sat with my parents and planned a thanksgiving dinner with both our families. She finally doesnt want to talk about it and turns off her phone. I hear nothing until Sunday when I wake up early. I decided I would looked on Facebook, she rarely posts much anyway. What I see is smiley face with another guy posted up on Saturday. I see a comment from hr friend, "nothing a few drinks wont cure." I guess that's my supposed to be my way to cope? So I text her, telling her I thought she was a better person then that. I get the reply- " All I know is I didn't want to hurt you and I know that I did. " From what I have been told she met this guy jogging and within 4 days, as she calls it, its "love". I see now who she is, and how shallow her world must really be. I thought we had things in common, both married to alcoholic ex's, getting ourselves back in shape, and dating slow and getting it right this time. She was a year ahead of me on getting in shape, and I guess she finally realized how good she looked and found someone hopefully as shallow as she is. I realized today why she lied in my face, she would have had to face the facts how horrible her actions are and explain it. I don't think she has a care in the world about my feelings or anyone's really. I feel like telling her how I feel, and wishing someone would tell just tell how low her actions are, but I tell myself she wont care anyway. I'm probably letting her off the hook too easy, but I feel like it would be a waste of time. I know I have my flaws, but to put that much self doubt in someone when its all BS, just so you can have what you think is a better looking guy. I know this will make me stronger, and I'll move on. I've lost 60 pounds this year and now I'm hitting the gym. I just hope I can still be the same person I am now and not so shallow when I hit my goals for being healthier. You and me both man. I also found out a week later she left me for someone else. How? She TOLD ME! lol. Seen I was hanging out with another girl AFTER she left me and got jealous I guess and then finally told me the truth about how she left me for another person. Oh and she also said that I probably cheated on her with that girl I was hanging out with after the break-up lol. And now she is the one telling me to please talk to her. lol. For what?
ReadMyThread Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I understand the why, it's the how that has really baffled me on how some people treat others. 10 months, and this is what I get? Ok, she want to break up, shows up after I get home from work do it in person, without a single clue on my part what is about to go down. I go to give her a hug, and she flinch's away as if I am some contagious disease. Suddenly I know somethings wrong, and I start to listen to this half ass story how we aren't a together forever couple, I wont bend over backwards for her, I'm never around during the weekdays, the list goes on filling me with self doubt. I of course would like to talk this out, find out what we can fix, what I can do to make it better, because I would drop anything to help or make her feel better. She doesn't want to talk and needs time alone, etc. Already she has un-freinded all Facebook ties with anyone of mine she knows. I felt set up and stupid by this point. I text a couple times, trying to defend myself, working almost 60 hours a week, why didn't she ever talk or ask. How just 5 days ago she sat with my parents and planned a thanksgiving dinner with both our families. She finally doesnt want to talk about it and turns off her phone. I hear nothing until Sunday when I wake up early. I decided I would looked on Facebook, she rarely posts much anyway. What I see is smiley face with another guy posted up on Saturday. I see a comment from hr friend, "nothing a few drinks wont cure." I guess that's my supposed to be my way to cope? So I text her, telling her I thought she was a better person then that. I get the reply- " All I know is I didn't want to hurt you and I know that I did. " From what I have been told she met this guy jogging and within 4 days, as she calls it, its "love". I see now who she is, and how shallow her world must really be. I thought we had things in common, both married to alcoholic ex's, getting ourselves back in shape, and dating slow and getting it right this time. She was a year ahead of me on getting in shape, and I guess she finally realized how good she looked and found someone hopefully as shallow as she is. I realized today why she lied in my face, she would have had to face the facts how horrible her actions are and explain it. I don't think she has a care in the world about my feelings or anyone's really. I feel like telling her how I feel, and wishing someone would tell just tell how low her actions are, but I tell myself she wont care anyway. I'm probably letting her off the hook too easy, but I feel like it would be a waste of time. I know I have my flaws, but to put that much self doubt in someone when its all BS, just so you can have what you think is a better looking guy. I know this will make me stronger, and I'll move on. I've lost 60 pounds this year and now I'm hitting the gym. I just hope I can still be the same person I am now and not so shallow when I hit my goals for being healthier. Sorry I didn't mean kind of steal your thread and put it on to me lol I just want you to know that there are other people in the same exact situation you are in. I dated her for 9 months and it happened and you dated her for 10 months and it happened lol. Crazy. I guess they just get bored and think there is better out there. I think she will come back to you man. I mean, you should want that but I know she will. You sound like a good due and took care of her. But yeah all you should do is move on and never take her back when she does try to come back. She will. They always come back lol. Focus on yourself and when she comes back you use that as an ego boost to get over her lol. That's where I am currently.
Author Ascendingspark Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 I just didn't think she could be so cruel, but She also wasn't as mature as I thought. She is pretty messed up, to think she is in love, after knowing the guy less then a week. This is the first time I have felt physical pain from something like this with some insomnia and loss of appetite to go with it. I have a feeling this guy wont stick around long, he doesn't look like the type who will look past her flaws. In the unlikely event she comes back, I am pretty sure I wont. I'll just think of her FB picture and how happy she was the next day, while I was wondering what the hell I did. Just hard to go from having that person there everyday to absolutely nothing.
ReadMyThread Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 I just didn't think she could be so cruel, but She also wasn't as mature as I thought. She is pretty messed up, to think she is in love, after knowing the guy less then a week. This is the first time I have felt physical pain from something like this with some insomnia and loss of appetite to go with it. I have a feeling this guy wont stick around long, he doesn't look like the type who will look past her flaws. In the unlikely event she comes back, I am pretty sure I wont. I'll just think of her FB picture and how happy she was the next day, while I was wondering what the hell I did. Just hard to go from having that person there everyday to absolutely nothing. Oh believe me I KNOW! lol. I've been doing it for 2 months now and now she keeps messaging me over and over. Text messaging me, facebook messaging me. She will come back, but sadly, only for the wrong reasons man. The only time she will come back is if/when this guy leaves her. Then she will just be coming back because she is lonely and she will leave you again for her next guy. I mean there COUUUUULD be a slight chance that SHE dumps HIM because she realizes you are better than HIM but I don't know about that happening because when a relationship starts EVERYTHING is on cloud 9 so only time will tell I guess. That's all I keep telling myself. "Only time will tell."
ParadeRain Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Oh believe me I KNOW! lol. I've been doing it for 2 months now and now she keeps messaging me over and over. Text messaging me, facebook messaging me. She will come back, but sadly, only for the wrong reasons man. The only time she will come back is if/when this guy leaves her. Then she will just be coming back because she is lonely and she will leave you again for her next guy. I mean there COUUUUULD be a slight chance that SHE dumps HIM because she realizes you are better than HIM but I don't know about that happening because when a relationship starts EVERYTHING is on cloud 9 so only time will tell I guess. That's all I keep telling myself. "Only time will tell." Dave you're 50/50 on helping yourself man. You seem to have the delusion of her realizing she's made a mistake, dumping him and coming back to you... But the damage is already done man, she left him for you, you got to remember that!
Author Ascendingspark Posted November 11, 2012 Author Posted November 11, 2012 My second week was a roller coaster of ups and downs but I have to say Saturday was a huge surprise. I was just finished at the gym and looked at my phone and found a FB friend request from a past co worker I haven't seen in long time. It was a beautiful girl I occasionally got to talk to at the end of my shift, and always made my rather tired face smile. I enjoyed the chats and thought she was really cool, but I never really pursued it because of it being at work. I left that job rather abruptly and I thought that was the end of that. So we ended up chatting most of the morning and eventually decided to hang out. We spent the rest of the day finding out we actually have a lot in common and really clicked. She actually had the same blind sided break up I had not long ago as well. It was a good day and showed me that those dumb feelings and doubts are over. I don't know if it will grow into something, I sort of hope so, but I am still rather guarded about my feelings. Anyway I hope who ever reads this hangs in for some hope of their own, sometimes things do get better.
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