slackerkk Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 So this weekend the girlfriend (of 7 months or 11 of "dating") and I got into a big fight after while i was out drinking, ended up trying to meet up too much instead of just letting her hang out with her friends. Which led to having a talk 2 days later about what to do. She pretty much said that she hasn't been her self the last 2 months, not happy wants to do nothing but sit at home or see one of her girlfriends. Doesn't want sex which "is not like me at all" and just generally unhappy. Says she's not unhappy with me or unhappy in a relationship with me but that it's a general unhappiness. She is starting school in a month and getting her license finally so she is able to attend school (she's 23) so she has a lot on her plate at the time and is undergoing a ton of stress from these things coming up. As well as absolutely hating where she works, i could see it in the morning when i'd stay the night and would drive her the next day, as she got progressively more mad as we got closer to the job. She misses how she was for the first the entire first part of our relationship until recently, and she repeated it's not something that i have done or how it's related to me in any way. She said how she loves me to death but feels like with everything that is going on she isn't giving into it what I deserve or she wants to give. As the last couple months i've noticed her seeming depressed and unhappy, and almost like she was pulling away a little bit. While she seemed to pull away i went out of my character and would try to force conversations or when out in a similar area with our own friends, i would try and nag to meet up. This is not something i've ever done in any relationship and i think the fear of losing her moved me to this type of stupidity. We in a way mutually agreed to go on a break as we both care about each other a lot and have a deep love for each other. We both know how well we work together, we had all but 2 months of iffyness. We have barely fought only about 3 times in the whole 11 months and have had many great times together with very very few bad times. She needs this time to "improve myself" and i just hope it's not the end, as we both said to each other that is not what we want nor is this break really what we want. I told her how unhappy i was with the decision and she said she hates it just as much but thinks it's something she needs. Just need any kind of advice at all, the hardest thing is we work together so we see each other there like 3 days a week at work. At work we act like co workers and not as people in a relationship as we both believe it's best to be that way so others don't hate us or think we play favorites with things. I have a feeling iwth her school starting in a month that she wants to wait until it starts to decide what to do but that to me sounds like a long time. As i left her house we literally hugged for like 10 minutes and kissed a few times and she even said she loves me first (which she rarely rarely does as she's not the most affectionate person, hasn't been since day 1) Can see in her eyes/look as i was about to leave that she really does care and wants this to work out.
Tree_Salmon Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 So this weekend the girlfriend (of 7 months or 11 of "dating") and I got into a big fight after while i was out drinking, ended up trying to meet up too much instead of just letting her hang out with her friends. Which led to having a talk 2 days later about what to do. She pretty much said that she hasn't been her self the last 2 months, not happy wants to do nothing but sit at home or see one of her girlfriends. Doesn't want sex which "is not like me at all" and just generally unhappy. Says she's not unhappy with me or unhappy in a relationship with me but that it's a general unhappiness. She is starting school in a month and getting her license finally so she is able to attend school (she's 23) so she has a lot on her plate at the time and is undergoing a ton of stress from these things coming up. As well as absolutely hating where she works, i could see it in the morning when i'd stay the night and would drive her the next day, as she got progressively more mad as we got closer to the job. She misses how she was for the first the entire first part of our relationship until recently, and she repeated it's not something that i have done or how it's related to me in any way. She said how she loves me to death but feels like with everything that is going on she isn't giving into it what I deserve or she wants to give. As the last couple months i've noticed her seeming depressed and unhappy, and almost like she was pulling away a little bit. While she seemed to pull away i went out of my character and would try to force conversations or when out in a similar area with our own friends, i would try and nag to meet up. This is not something i've ever done in any relationship and i think the fear of losing her moved me to this type of stupidity. We in a way mutually agreed to go on a break as we both care about each other a lot and have a deep love for each other. We both know how well we work together, we had all but 2 months of iffyness. We have barely fought only about 3 times in the whole 11 months and have had many great times together with very very few bad times. She needs this time to "improve myself" and i just hope it's not the end, as we both said to each other that is not what we want nor is this break really what we want. I told her how unhappy i was with the decision and she said she hates it just as much but thinks it's something she needs. Just need any kind of advice at all, the hardest thing is we work together so we see each other there like 3 days a week at work. At work we act like co workers and not as people in a relationship as we both believe it's best to be that way so others don't hate us or think we play favorites with things. I have a feeling iwth her school starting in a month that she wants to wait until it starts to decide what to do but that to me sounds like a long time. As i left her house we literally hugged for like 10 minutes and kissed a few times and she even said she loves me first (which she rarely rarely does as she's not the most affectionate person, hasn't been since day 1) Can see in her eyes/look as i was about to leave that she really does care and wants this to work out. "breaks" are bulls**t and a very immature way of people dealing with their issues. If she wants a break this early in the relationship then its bad news#1. bad news #2 is this is going to be the start of a long drawn out breakup. take your pick. everything else you ask is irrelevant. if i were you id be glad it was only 7 months then id pick up and leave. but chances are you wont listen. 1
NavyAirTraffic Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 "breaks" are bulls**t and a very immature way of people dealing with their issues. If she wants a break this early in the relationship then its bad news#1. bad news #2 is this is going to be the start of a long drawn out breakup. take your pick. everything else you ask is irrelevant. if i were you id be glad it was only 7 months then id pick up and leave. but chances are you wont listen. Nasty stuff TS!! This is it. In love perspective-Would you need a break from someone you loved, someone you wanted to be with forever? Would you want to take the chance of losing them on this break? NO! Other side-Would you want a break from someone that you're really not that into? Maybe test the waters a little bit, see what the other fish are all about. Say, "I just need a break" just in case the waters are cold and the fish aren't biting? YES!
Tree_Salmon Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 First two years should be sunshine and sex. anything less than that is not worth your time. If you guys are having a break this friggin early, major problems. Take my word for it.
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