flowercat Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 so i was engaged and he has just rencenlty broke it off with me because he cant get over the fact that i was not a virgin when i met him. we have been going out for 3 years we have each caused problems in our relationship, me being to pushy or too controling. i have realized my mistakes and have told him, he is glad that i realize my mistakes, and he says that maybe in the future we can try and fix those mistakes but this is only half our problem cause he cant get over me being with someone else before him. i think this break up has been for the best though because it has made us realize our problems we need to fix he gets really upset about me being with someone else before i met him, he says it disgusts him, and he thinks i don't deserve to be his only one if i wasn't his only one... it makes him not want to touch me or look at me, he just gets very angry fast, it was a problem after the first year or so but it has never bloon up this much to cause breaking up, he has always delt with it. i barley did anything with this ex that i lost my virginity too we probably had sex only two times with a condom, the only good thing i got out of it was learning to be myself with other people. he says he cant get over it, the fact that someone else touched me. and he has given me hope that we will get back together because he said that maybe we can put our other fixed problems into effect if we end up getting back together. i know hes still madly in love with me and i with him. but he also says he doesn't know what he wants in his life right now and only time will tell. is there a chance that he will get over this? or should i just stop waiting?, he said it might take him a few months i'm so lost right now....
River Rain Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Wow, he sounds controlling. Is this a cultural or religious thing? Because if my bf acted disgusted that I'd had sex before him, I'd cut him loose in a second.
Author flowercat Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 hes not controlling i was the controlling one and i've realized that now which was half our problem and sometimes he blames it on how hes grown up. he didn't get first time sex with virgin. he says if he experimented more before he met me we wouldn't have this problem
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Run away from this guy. He seems like a nightmare. Unless you are from a different culture that completely forbids sex before marriage, this guy's expectations are completely unreasonable.
puzzled1 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Wow, I actually know someone like this. Believe me, you do not want a part of that. You didn't sleep with someone while you guys were together!! It kind of sounds like a cultural thing??
Author flowercat Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 we just have so many good things going for us its hard to let it go. had to cancel the wedding and everything though. its not a religious thing we don't believe in no sex before marriage its just stupid because its like, why did he propose to me if he couldn't keep this problem under wraps
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 If it's not a religious or cultural thing this guy did you a favor. He's way too wound up for words.
Author flowercat Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 i just wish there was something i could say to him to make him view this differently
ReadMyThread Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 You need to NEVER talk to this kid again. Yeah I said "kid". That' exactly what he is. Look, if he can't over the fact that you weren't a virgin before you two got together NOW, he NEVER will. lol. He sounds immature. This shouldn't even be a problem to him. YOU WERE WITH HIM! Not your ex so why would he even think about your past partners? lol. You were with him because he is the one who makes you happy and he needs to realize that and forget about your past. Who cares about your past. Time is now. It sounds like he will never get that out of his head though so it will be tough. I'd say never talk to this person again and you deserve someone who isn't going to be like this and think about you and your past partners. There are plenty of guys out there that will do so.
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