TPARSONS Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 This is my first time on this website. I am hoping someone out there is going through the same thing I am going through. So here goes: I met my current boyfriend 8 months ago. 6 weeks into the relationship things were going great until something tragic happened. Something physically happened to him, and since then he has completely changed into someone different. He is very angry at what happened. The past 6 months have been very difficult for me. He loves me, and I love him. When we first got together we talked about marraige. Now it isn't even something on his mind. He knows he has changed since the accident, but doesn't think he will go back to his oldself. His entire family has noticed a change too. The night of the accident he was going to tell me he loved me for the first time, but didn't get the chance to. I told him first in the hospital, and he then told me. Since then, things have gone down hill. I need advice on what to do. He keeps himself so busy, he has no time for me. Please help.
HokeyReligions Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 Accidents and health crisis do change people. Sometimes its a very long road to recovery. Mental and emotional scars don't heal as fast as the physical body heals. Is he in counseling to help him deal with the accident? If not, he should be. Is there a counselor you can talk with as well, to help you understand what may be going on in his mind and heart right now? Try to find someone there that you can talk with. His self-esteem and self-confidence and self-worth may be damaged and may never be the same again, but that doesn't mean they can't heal and be even better. But it takes time. You might want to search for some web sites that deal with healing after an accident. One of my sites (link below) is a grief site, but there is some information there on dealing with trauma and you might find others who can provide links to sites that are more relevant to your situation. Talking to a counselor is, I think, your best bet right now. http://www.beyondindigo.com/
Author TPARSONS Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 I totally agree with you. I think he does need to see a counsler and I could use one too. I have never been with someone that has gone through what he is going through. His accident has physically changed him, and he has had to make certain adjustments with everyday life. It's hard because I know he means well. He would never intentionally hurt me or anyone else that he cares about. But I think he is so angry at what happened, he can't help it. Or doesn't really know that he is hurting the people he loves. Since the accident, he has starting drinking, hanging out with friends, partying all the time. He does not have time for me anymore. I know it's because he is trying to keep his mind off of what happened. I was there, and witnessed the accident, and part of me thinks he avoids me because it reminds him of it. ???? I am trying to be there for him the best I can. I love him, and want to help him. I will try to suggest a counsler and hope he gives it a shot. Thank you for the advice.
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