youaretheone Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) This never happened to me before. I am still surprised, happy and also in a difficult situation at the same time. I am 23. I met this girl (19 years old) at a party. She is a mutual friend of my old flatmates. We had some chat, I really enjoyed talking to her and I am attracted to her at the same time. A few days after the party, I organized a night out with same group of friends and invited her as well. That night, we continued talking, held hands, hugged, increased physical contact. I said goodbye to see her later at a party tomorrow. A few minutes ago, I received a Facebook message from her. Literally, she poured out her heart to me. She says she couldn't get me out of her head since the night out and she can't stop thinking of me. She says she wanted to tell me this on that night but she was too shy for it. She also adds that she's seen I like video games, she loves them so maybe we are soulmates! She is looking forward to see me the next day at the party. She also added a heart sign at the end of the message and says "I actually don't believe I really sent this message.". This message is really special to me because it's someone innocently opening their heart to me with very beautiful feelings (most of it being infatuation but yet still very courageous of her). I am the guy who likes to take things slow and get to know other person before being that forward with them. I also take that she is less experienced in the dating scene than me because of the soulmate thing and age difference. Honestly, I am not a believer of soulmates, it's too wishy washy: There is no "the one" for me. She sounds like me at her age, when I was a guy inexperienced in dating and hardly approached women. I am also interested in this girl but I want to take things slow because it's too early for me to draw hearts or make exclusivity. I won't reply to her message now because tomorrow I want to talk to her face to face. What is the best way to talk about this without scaring her away? I was planning to tell her that I reciprocate her interest but I would like to get to know her better first before getting serious. If you have any advice, please share. Edited November 2, 2012 by youaretheone
Ninjainpajamas Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 You're going to have to really communicate with her, she's still rather young, inexperienced and very idealistic, vulnerable to her emotions. Just be careful not to hurt her too badly by diving into this and telling her all the things she wants to hear, she's going to make that very easy for you to do so try and manage the pace of things, but realize she's already looking to get her head in the clouds regardless so your words aren't going to have much of an affect and your actions will always be interpreted as something more, even if you do not intend to lead her on down that emotional road...women can do it all by themselves. IMO 19 is a big difference from 23, you've already got some experience under your belt, although nothing major still far and away from where she stands right now. She'll probably go along with whatever you say and want, it's pretty much up to you, you have the responsibility of someones emotions in your hands...you're going to find out how well you can handle that responsibility, but communication is going to be very important and tell her where you are emotionally because she'll be afraid to ask. It's good that you have respect and appreciation for her gestures and emotions..it's when you don't care and stop caring is when you'll know you're just like the rest of the other guys just in it for what they want, which you will be tested on as you get older. Word of advice though; don't do anything out of guilt or obligation, be honest...it takes a lot more courage to do that which is why most men don't do it, but you'll respect yourself and others will respect you more for it in the end.
River Rain Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 I was planning to tell her that I reciprocate her interest but I would like to get to know her better first before getting serious. This is exactly what you need to say. Maybe with some paraphrasing, but just be direct with her.
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