Is he giving up?

[Lief]

Hi all,

 

I'm in a long distance relationship for a few months now. We met each other in a country where we're both not from. We have been together since then and lived practically next to each other for 6 months. For jobs we both moved to another country in July. Both not in our home country as well.

I always told him that it would become difficult but he was begging me to stay and saying that we could work out a LDR. I gave my all to him from then as I thought he meant what he said.

 

It is difficult planning trips as he is traveling a lot for work and has crazy working hours. But so far we have seen each other each month, last time when I left after visiting him, I felt more distance. Less texting, less phonecalls and less skyping. I confronted him with this and he said that he finds it difficult to be in this LDR also the distance makes him feel unsure about his feelings for me.

 

It seems he is focusing a lot on how difficult it is to maintain a LDR as I like to give this a more positive approach. I love him and I'm working on being with him. But for the moment both our futures are unsure.

 

All the other visits I was there it was really nice and we spend some real nice quality time together. I don't know if this coldness is just because he hasn't seen me for a while or that he wants to break up.

 

In three weeks I will visit him again. In the mean time I'm not sure if I should wait for him to contact me and give him some space or if I should contact him daily or so.

Edited November 2, 2012 by Lief

[ses]

Doubts can be corrosive to any relationship if you let them go unresolved. I would continue to talk to him. If he remains distant then I would give him some space to think things over. Continue to accentuate the positives, and your commitment to him and the relationship. The distance is definitely an issue, but if you two love each other, then you should be willing to work through your problems together as a couple. You can reassure your boyfriend that it won't be easy, but that each relationship has its own unique struggles. Let us know how it goes!

Edited November 2, 2012 by ses
More information

[Lief]

Thank you for your advice.

Wednesday is the last time I spoke to him, I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone and he said no and that he would call the next day. He didn't. I tried to call him yesterday and he didn't answer. I'm not sure to try to call him again or leave it up to him to get in contact with me.

[justwhoiam]

I asked him if he wanted me to leave him alone and he said no and that he would call the next day. He didn't. I tried to call him yesterday and he didn't answer.

Don't call. If he wanted to call you, he would have done so. Definitely leave him alone, disappear for a while and see if he gets back to you. If he doesn't, he was not really interested in you. Provided he has enough contacts to get in touch with you (email, phone number, skype contact, facebook name, etc.)

 

If he contacts you, then it's time for you to ask a few questions.

[Lief]

Don't call. If he wanted to call you, he would have done so. Definitely leave him alone, disappear for a while and see if he gets back to you. If he doesn't, he was not really interested in you. P.

 

I know this might be the best option. I'm just wondering why he is doing this. We're both adults and he is even 9 years older than me. We have been in a steady relationship. If he wants to break up, I would reckon he would just do so instead of staying out of touch. Especially as I already booked my ticket to see him in two weeks.

[justwhoiam]

Maybe he's just freaking out, maybe he has too much going on at the moment... just assumptions. Make sure to remind him you'll be there on day X at ... o'clock (that also includes wire, if necessary). Leave all the talk for when you'll see him in person.