autigrgrad Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 I posted about 1 week ago asking advice regarding me(newly separated) and a man I have met(my chiropractor) who is 10 years older than I am and never been married. This man is somewhat invloved with a woman his age (45) and has been for the past 9 months. I don't really know how involved they are when they only see each other 1-2 times a month. A week ago Saturday I called him to let him know I was free if he didn't have any plans. Well he called back(6:30pm) and said that he thought he had a date. I said what do you mean you think you have a date haven't you asked her out yet. He said that he was supposed to have called her 2 hours before. He asked me if I was mad at him and I said no. I was just dissapointed. He told me that I had a lot on my plate right now(with my pending divorce) and that I needed to date different people and not settle for the first person I meet. I told him that I would not be calling him again. I was hurt to say the least. Well the phone rang at 11:30 that night and it was him. I asked him if he was drunk and he said no. He had been drinking though. We talked for about 30 minutes and I told him I was free on Monday night. He said to call him. I called during lunch time on Monday but we didn't set anything up. I actually needed to come in and see him because my back was killing me. I made an appointment and saw him at 5:00pm. He had to leave early so before he left he came over and whispered in my ear to call him when I left. I called about 20 minutes later. He said that he had an errand to run so I should call him back between 7-7:30pm. I called and asked if he wanted me to come over and he asked me if I wanted to come over. He said that he was making chicken and rice so to come over. He also said that he didn't want to hurt me or lead me on. He also said that he was scared. What can he possibly be scared of? He said that he doesn't date married women. I told him that I was separated and the divorce will be final by the middle of Sept. I went over we ate and sat on the couch and messed around for a little while(no sex). His cell phone rang and he said that it was a friend that he used to date but they were only good friends now. I didn't ask any questions. He told her he would call her back. He had told me that he was having a hard time sleeping and that he had been trying to go to sleep around 9-10. So about 10 minutes after the phone call, he asked if I would mind if he got ready for bed. I said no because I had to call my son anyway. He walked me to my car, kissed me good bye, told me to be careful and that was it. It is now a week later and I have not heard anything from him. I am not planning on calling but unfortunately I do think about him quite often. I am just wondering what he is thinking and if he is at all interested in me. At one point before we got together, he said for me to call him after I got divorced. So my plan is to call him after I get the court date and let him know and then the ball is in his court to call if he is interested. I probably won't be calling him for at least 2 more weeks. To the men: Is it OK for a woman to do the calling? Any advice would be great. I know I should just stay away but that is easier said than done. Thanks.
The_Analyzer Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 I don't really think in this day and age its wrong for a woman to call a man sometimes. However, I noticed in your post, it seemed he always wanted you to call him. I find that a little strange. Looks to me if he was truly interested he would call you. In my opinon, I think I would back off on the calling and see what happens. If he wants to go out with you let him come to you. Just my 2 cents. Good luck.
Author autigrgrad Posted August 2, 2004 Author Posted August 2, 2004 "However, I noticed in your post, it seemed he always wanted you to call him. I find that a little strange. Looks to me if he was truly interested he would call you." He seems to be very paranoid about my soon to be ex seeing his phone number come across the phone. He always jokes that my phone may be bugged. When I called him the first time and he returned my call, he told me to make sure I erased his number from my cell phone. He has returned one of my calls at home but he called from his office and then when he called late at night he called my house. The late night call was something I did not expect. If I were to call him now, he would return my call. He says that he will always call me back. I think I will just wait and see if he calls. Unfortunately, the waiting is the hardest part. Thanks for your advice.
kmax Posted August 2, 2004 Posted August 2, 2004 Sorry to say this, but when he tells you to call him back or he will call you back, it sounds like he's with another women, just like when he was with you and told that women that he would called when you were with him, the same thing he tells you when you call him. To me he sounds like a player, if that's what you want right now go for it. And when he said he needed to get ready for bed, after the call from that other women, I think two things, one he wanted to call her back without you their or he was going to call her and meet with her. Think on that.
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