notsosuperman Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Break-up, 6 weeks ago. I had been in some kind of realtionship with a girl I really loved, and probably still do. We were really good friends before, and decided to take the step further. She was the one to suggest this, and I agreed, because I felt the same way. When we started going out, she started to say, that she was not ready for a relationship yet and feeling committed again (she had been in 2 other long relationships). She told me how much she loved me though, and didn't want to live without me, so she wanted to let the time show what should happen. I told her I would give her the time that she needed, and she was very glad that I felt this way and not pushing her. Anyways, she was the first girl I ever kissed and had intimate contact with, I am 18 years old by the way. If we were hanging out in the park sometime after school, I was ofcourse nervous, this was before we started going out, but had something going on. She knew I never kissed someone before, and when I got home, and she got home, she texted me "I wish you would have kissed me". And one day when I was at her her home, I did that. About a month later she ended it, told me that she just couldn't or wanted to do this anymore, and she hated that she had to do this, she said she hated to see me crying - she felt so bad, she said she hated to ruin my first relationship, because I am who I am. She told me she would always love me and always be there for me. She told me I did nothing wrong.. I got so incredible sad, even though we weren't together for a very long time 1½ month (known each other since march - great connection). I went no contact straight away. She contacted me after 6 days, to hear how I was and that she missed me, which today is a month ago. We go to the same school, so I see her almost every day.. I have deleted her phone number and deleted her from facebook.. Don't know if she is mad about the facebook thing, but I needed to do this for myself.. It hurts me everytime I think of her and our moments and that I can't "have" her anymore. All this was so new to me, and I loved it... It hurts me to think that she is already over me and not caring about me - haven't heard from her in a month. I really want some contact with her, but I won't write to her.. That would not help me - but still I want her to write to me, soon.. Don't know why i think like this, I just dont feel like I should be the one to contact her. Anyways, a lot of times I am really good at being happy and having fun, so I am not totally obsessed with her. I don't want it to sound like I want her back - that is not what I am putting my mind up for, because she told me, that she could and would never go back to me. She wouldn't do that to me or herself.. I just can't stand the thought of her not caring about me anymore, or not missing me.. I feel so unwanted and not good enough for anything.. I was in love with this girl and the thought that I can't have her, hurts me.. It seems like some parts of me cannot accept the fact, that I cannot be with her.. I have accepted the "break-up" though, and I am not dying to have contact with her, I just don't want to feel like I meant nothing.. I guess I will just continue to be NC - set a new goal 2 months! If any of you guys, have some comforting words, been/is in same situation, kick some reality into my brain that I probably don't want to hear but have to - then please, post it! Would mean a lot to me. Thanks for reading!
puzzled1 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 You are 18 years old, there are a lot of things you need to experience. What she did is not a personal attack to you, its because she is not over whomever she was with prior and is bringing in baggage into the relationship you want to start. Make new friends, go out, and keep busy and all this will go away sooner than you expect. I remember when I was in your boat. That first initial connection is so comforting and loving that you don't want to let it go, but believe me- you will find someone that will feel the same as you do! Keep your head up and stay busy!
Recommended Posts