m4vis Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Okay so here is a very, very short version of my story. a year and a half ago I met a girl, we became close friends. she had a boyfriend who was a douchebag. She started being attracted to me and expressed romantic interest in me, which I had not considered because she was so out of my league and had a boyfriend. Our friendship then evolves into some intimate non physical emotional affair. One day she decides she doesn't like me like that anymore, I just had qualities she was missing in her relationship. I become upset and broken, she goes back to her relationship like nothing happened. I get bitter and cut off contact with her. A year later, I date a new girl. me and new girl have an awesome relationship where we never fight, connect emotionally, physically, mentally ect. everything is peachy until she decides her past issues need to be dealt with by a counselor and she can't date anyone until she is "fixed." we spend some more months acting like we are together doing the same thing but not officially. All of a sudden she becomes shady and distant. I find out she has a boyfriend now. I become an absolute wreck. I cut off contact with her and spend my days in the most pathetic cry-sleep-cry-eat-cry-sleep routine in the recorded history of man. One day, find out that the first girl is no longer with her boyfriend and has been single for some time now. When I find this out, I instantly am filled with glamorous mind pictures of me asking her out, us dating for real blah blah blah and forget all about the new girl. Then I realize I have no Idea what the hell is wrong with me, seeing as I had been completely emotionally crippled only hours before, crying my eyes out to a friend (I even said I felt like my internal organs felt like they were being boiled in hot wax). So in the span of a few hours, I went from being completely heartbroken and "in love" with one girl, and the secon I find out some girl I haven't spoken to in a year is single I completely stop caring about new girl. and I don't normally relationship hop or use one girl to get over another, I even told my friend I never wanted to see another vagina ever again (I kind of knew that was a lie when I said it though). I feel like this would make some sense if I was manic depressive or schizophrenic or something but I'm pretty sure I'm not (I just saw a psychologist a few weeks ago for something unrelated, and she looked for both of those conditions). So is this normal? wth is wrong with me?
kamani Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Continue to see the psychologist, he may decide!
Author m4vis Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 Actually I am bringing this up to her when I see her again in a couple of weeks.
TopCat22 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 I'm no expert, but it sounds to me like you are seeking some sort of validation. are you/were you actually in love with either of these girls or is it that you loved the feeling of being needed/wanted? I suspect that because of the way the previous girl treated you, that you are almost trying to prove to yourself that you can have her. I've heard this happens a lot when people are rejected: you only want it back because you can't have it and therefore feel powerless. I'd keep seeing the counsellor and work through this.
KatZee Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Honestly I think it's fairly normal. You got screwed over not once, but now twice. I do think you sound depressed, and I don't think you no longer care about the ex girlfriend but now you are living in a fantasy land and think you can mask that pain with another person. It's not reality. I bet if you got in touch with that other girl, most likely whatever daydreams you're having of her wouldn't really come true. You're definitely rebounding instead of being single to work on the feelings you have, and most guys do this, so you're not abnormal or anything. It's just not the best route to go.
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