Lou21 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Ok guys and girls i really do need some help here i am certianly starting to go out of my mind. So ive been dating this guy for 4 months now, we knew eachother before as we worked in a gym together but we got back in contact around july! Its amazing how well we get along were on the same wave length and everyone who sees us together always says how wicked we are together. We got talking when he come back from kavos and then he went Ibiza for 4 days with the lad and keep in mind he called me every day he was there and texting me aswel. (he even brought back a key ring) HE WAS ON A LADS HOLIDAY! right then he won my heart. On sept 25th he went away in the RAF i am incredibly proud of him and i am a very supportive girl as my brother served 7 years in the infantry ANYWAY. 3 weeks into trainning everything was fine he was saying the usual stuff, called me every night for 3 weeks. BUT BAM! from for the next 2 weeks he was acting different, the way he texted was different, he would skip a day or two before he rang me. i pulled him up about it and he said trainning was hard thats all. week 5 he come home on a friday had 2 texts from him that night and that was it. and all i did was see him for an hour before he went back to camp. he didnt even try anything with me :/ before he went i said about us being in a relationship but he said ' I dont wanna be a bag of **** and say yes but then i have to break up with you because i cant handle the distance' BUT were doing everything a couple would do in our situation! HELP!!! this is killing me
cerridwen Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) It's not your imagination. He is likely distancing himself for the very reason he gave: LDRs suck and he doubts his ability to have one. That's honest. They blow. My advice is be mature about it and part on good terms. Clearly, you both have affection for one another and good memories. He also sounds like a nice guy who was upfront about his feelings and refrained from misleading you by being sexual during your last encounter. How refreshing to read! Right now, even if a relationship is a no-go, that doesn't diminish what you had or what it might be if you ever cross paths again. Life is lonnnnnng. So, let him have the distance he's asking for through his actions. Be gracious, be kind. And be happy it happened. I know it hurts but it was 4 months of good times, yeah? You both sound like lovely people. Edited November 2, 2012 by cerridwen 5
Author Lou21 Posted November 6, 2012 Author Posted November 6, 2012 It's not your imagination. He is likely distancing himself for the very reason he gave: LDRs suck and he doubts his ability to have one. That's honest. They blow. My advice is be mature about it and part on good terms. Clearly, you both have affection for one another and good memories. He also sounds like a nice guy who was upfront about his feelings and refrained from misleading you by being sexual during your last encounter. How refreshing to read! Right now, even if a relationship is a no-go, that doesn't diminish what you had or what it might be if you ever cross paths again. Life is lonnnnnng. So, let him have the distance he's asking for through his actions. Be gracious, be kind. And be happy it happened. I know it hurts but it was 4 months of good times, yeah? You both sound like lovely people. Thats what i want to do, i want to part on good terms but everytime i unlock my phone and get his messages up to go and text him (cant call because his in the military) my gutt goes into knotts and i can't bring myself to say what i know i need to do because the thought of not hearing from him or seeing him again kills me! I have fallen so deep for him and i hate myself for it! you and many people have said the same thing, its clear we both adore eachother but its clear i need to do the right thing. The only thing that i dont get which i think is hurting the most, he goes online on fbook every 5-10 mins of an evening but then he wont go online onto whatsap to read my message and he will leave it a few hours before he replys! Every day feels like its getting worse! the less i hear from him the more it hurts! i hate that i feel like i have no control
umirano Posted November 6, 2012 Posted November 6, 2012 Communicating he does not want the relationship anymore by not reading your messages or not replying to them sucks. It is not the preferable way to tell you to back off. It is actually cowardly. Like no one is a bit pregnant, no one is a bit of a boyfriend / girlfriend. Call him out on this. I am sure despite the training, there is a time when they are allowed to make phone calls. Or better even, ask him to meet you, when he's on leave. Talk to him and let him know you are feeling he is distancing himself from you, and ask him straight out whether he wants out. If he confirms that, then you know, and you know what to do and I will be sorry for you. If he denies he wants out, let him know that you are hurting. If he cares for you, he will make sure you suffer less. all the best
Author Lou21 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Posted November 7, 2012 Communicating he does not want the relationship anymore by not reading your messages or not replying to them sucks. It is not the preferable way to tell you to back off. It is actually cowardly. Like no one is a bit pregnant, no one is a bit of a boyfriend / girlfriend. Call him out on this. I am sure despite the training, there is a time when they are allowed to make phone calls. Or better even, ask him to meet you, when he's on leave. Talk to him and let him know you are feeling he is distancing himself from you, and ask him straight out whether he wants out. If he confirms that, then you know, and you know what to do and I will be sorry for you. If he denies he wants out, let him know that you are hurting. If he cares for you, he will make sure you suffer less. all the best He never striked me to be the one to be like this his always been the type of guy to be up front and say it how it is. I pluked up the courage yesterday and emailed him and said how i felt. and asked him if anything has chanegd between us, if not interested anymore bla bla bla. and said if i dont hear from u after this email ill understand and i wish u all the best. well i didnt hear from him but then i couldnt help but to text him saying ' Take it you made your choice. i understand i just thought you would want to try and sort this out' He replied: ' Lou im not being a dick trust me, ive had so much stuff to do tonight its unreal and to be hoenst im not 100 percent what to write back' i told him i was sorry and i know he gets busy but he needs to understand how it looks and how it feels my end and he was like ' Yeah i do i just dont know what to write back' and then he said he was off to sleep and his sorry to leave me in the lurch but he will talk to me tomorrow (today) hadnt heard anything this morning! What does he mean he dont know what to say? it was pretty self explanitary all he had to do was say ' Yes louise things have changed, i dont want to be in contact with you no more bla bla bla' so again im being stringed along and wondering .. assuming! i will have it out with him today if i have too i will bullet point it to see what is exactly going through his head! Thank you so much for the support, anything else i can do? it hurts!
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