Things I've learned about dating in the last few months

[verhrzn]

The more logical scenario to me seems to be the one where one will accept the invitations, have the dude pay for the date, and sleep with the guys they consider to be attractive(the 20% left).

 

Except they are messaging the guy. So are you claiming that the girls are pursuing ugly guys just to get a free meal? Wow. How's that whole 'respect for women' going for you?

 

 

The women know the Enuch is not going to jump their bones and the men don't regard the enuch as a man.

 

Except that doesn't happen in the book. Absolutely no women confide in him. He deals almost entirely with the male characters (especially since aside from one female character, all the people in power are male.) So it's a bizarre claim to make.

[Hawakai]

Except they are messaging the guy. So are you claiming that the girls are pursuing ugly guys just to get a free meal? Wow. How's that whole 'respect for women' going for you?

 

 

Google it. Plenty of women use dating as a way to keep their food expenses down. Many guys also throw out gifts and trips. My respect for women is working out fine. I get all the sex I want for a very cheap price. Relationships are a bore and they require investment of time, emotions and money. I'm not interested in that.

[AD1980]

While its unfair to diminish either plight and i know women have their hardships BUT ill say i would gladly change places with some of the womens plight on here..

 

Yes for most of us our ultimate goal is to find the love of our life and have a family but at least most women on here have been in relationships and im sure even though they failed there were goodtimes were you felt loved emotionally physically etc

 

Id gladly take that over the situation im in where ive never even been on a first date and have been invisible to women for 32 years and feel like nobody is attracted to me..and never felt the touch and warmth of a women..never been givin that emotional and physical initimacy humans crave..

 

Im behind the 8 ball a lot more then women who have relationship experience

Edited November 5, 2012 by AD1980

[HopelessRomantic76]

It's important you added the looks do matter part becasue im tired of men thinking that we dont care about looks at all and that they can win us over with personality if we arent initially attracted to you physically

 

We are sexual creatures just like men and if we cant picture making out with you without vomiting i dont care if you're the nicest guy in the world with the best personality i cant get involved with you romantically

Edited November 6, 2012 by HopelessRomantic76

[Imajerk17]

Are you kidding me? I am VERY happy I am a guy.

 

We get to ask out whomever we want and feel good about it. Hell women "out of our league" (whatever that means) will go out with us because they won't ask out guys who are better-looking and the better-looking guys didn't ask them out. We are less hindered by not being good-looking--if we weren't blessed with looks, we can make it up with personality. And if we want sex, all we have to do is make a move.

 

This dating game is so rigged in favor of men it isn't even funny.

[ThaWholigan]

Are you kidding me? I am VERY happy I am a guy.

 

We get to ask out whomever we want and feel good about it. Hell women "out of our league" (whatever that means) will go out with us because they won't ask out guys who are better-looking and the better-looking guys didn't ask them out. We are less hindered by not being good-looking--if we weren't blessed with looks, we can make it up with personality. And if we want sex, all we have to do is make a move.

 

This dating game is so rigged in favor of men it isn't even funny.

Perception is everything

[PJKino]

I must be blind because i dont see the diverse taste in men women have and how each one has a different top 20%

 

My good looking friend has rarely if ever been rejected where all ive been is rejected. Each women in my social circle has either admitted a crush on him or that hes good looking even the married women

[fortyninethousand322]

Are you kidding me? I am VERY happy I am a guy.

 

We get to ask out whomever we want and feel good about it. Hell women "out of our league" (whatever that means) will go out with us because they won't ask out guys who are better-looking and the better-looking guys didn't ask them out. We are less hindered by not being good-looking--if we weren't blessed with looks, we can make it up with personality. And if we want sex, all we have to do is make a move.

 

This dating game is so rigged in favor of men it isn't even funny.

 

It's rigged in favor of some men. Such as yourself. And probably the OP. But some men have a distinct disadvantage.

 

To ignore this is to ignore reality.

[somedude81]

Are you kidding me? I am VERY happy I am a guy.

 

We get to ask out whomever we want and feel good about it. Hell women "out of our league" (whatever that means) will go out with us because they won't ask out guys who are better-looking and the better-looking guys didn't ask them out. We are less hindered by not being good-looking--if we weren't blessed with looks, we can make it up with personality. And if we want sex, all we have to do is make a move.

 

This dating game is so rigged in favor of men it isn't even funny.

It's very easy to be happy to be a guy when things are working out for you. For some guys, everything just line up. For others, it just doesn't happen.

 

And of course looks not mattering is complete nonsense. Yes personality can make up for a lack of looks, but you better have a kick ass personality. If a guy isn't blessed with looks or a great personality, everything is down to luck.

 

A girl doesn't need to be good looking or to have a nice personality, or to even stay in shape and she will still have men after her.

 

I also know that without a shadow of a doubt, if I were a woman with nothing of my personality changed, relative attractiveness unchanged and even being in the same physical condition, I'd be married.

 

Dating game rigged in favor of men? Hardly. The dating game favors some men. A small percentage of men have it easier then the average woman.

[verhrzn]

It's very easy to be happy to be a guy when things are working out for you. For some guys, everything just line up. For others, it just doesn't happen.

 

And of course looks not mattering is complete nonsense. Yes personality can make up for a lack of looks, but you better have a kick ass personality. If a guy isn't blessed with looks or a great personality, everything is down to luck.

 

A girl doesn't need to be good looking or to have a nice personality, or to even stay in shape and she will still have men after her.

 

I also know that without a shadow of a doubt, if I were a woman with nothing of my personality changed, relative attractiveness unchanged and even being in the same physical condition, I'd be married.

 

Dating game rigged in favor of men? Hardly. The dating game favors some men. A small percentage of men have it easier then the average woman.

 

You have this amazing ability to make me want to slap you.

 

Why, WHY, are you so blind? I am exactly like you. I don't have any guys chasing me. I know plenty of other girls who don't either.

 

What is it going to take to shove some, even just a tiny amount, of empathy through your skull? Did it ever occur to you dating MIGHT get easier if you decided to see women as individuals, with problems and challenges, just like you?

[somedude81]

You have this amazing ability to make me want to slap you.

 

Why, WHY, are you so blind? I am exactly like you. I don't have any guys chasing me. I know plenty of other girls who don't either.

 

What is it going to take to shove some, even just a tiny amount, of empathy through your skull? Did it ever occur to you dating MIGHT get easier if you decided to see women as individuals, with problems and challenges, just like you?

Being totally frank here, you may think you are very much like me, but your personality is much more abrasive than mine. That is your problem.

[verhrzn]

Being totally frank here, you may think you are very much like me, but your personality is much more abrasive than mine. That is your problem.

 

Yeah, because claiming that "fat girls aren't people" in dating, is the act of a nice guy.

 

Put it another way: my abrasiveness is your arrogance. We are the same; both of us struggling with dating. The only difference is, I have attempted to be empathetic and improve myself. What have you done except whine?

 

And abrasive or not, you miss my point. What's it going to take to cram in some empathy into your head? You admit yourself some girls (fat girls) have it difficult in dating. So why is there such a huge disconnect when you claim ONLY men have troubles? It's bizarre.

[ThaWholigan]

Being totally frank here, you may think you are very much like me, but your personality is much more abrasive than mine. That is your problem.

I reckon if she was a man she would clean up

[verhrzn]

I reckon if she was a man she would clean up

 

Hehe, yeah, I've said it before myself. I've stopped approaching guys in the last few years, but that was less out of fear of rejection or awkwardness and more because it seemed to really piss the guys off.

 

I remember this summer at Con, I stopped a guy dressed as Flynn Ryder. The same lady who did the leotard for my costume had done his and told me about him. So I walk right up to him and say," Love your costume! ____ did it, right? She did mine as well!"

 

All he does is glare at me, kind of twitch his mouth, and say," Yeah." So I said good-bye and flounced off.

 

I didn't have him backed in a corner (crowded hallway), I was friendly and polite, and yet he got all glare-y, cause how dare the ugly fat girl talk to him. Never fails to strike me as funny, how guys complain about how girls never approach them, and then get uppity and surly when a girl (who they don't want) does.

 

I am also fairly attractive to lesbians. Seems straight guys are the only type I can't attract.

[ThaWholigan]

Hehe, yeah, I've said it before myself. I've stopped approaching guys in the last few years, but that was less out of fear of rejection or awkwardness and more because it seemed to really piss the guys off.

 

I remember this summer at Con, I stopped a guy dressed as Flynn Ryder. The same lady who did the leotard for my costume had done his and told me about him. So I walk right up to him and say," Love your costume! ____ did it, right? She did mine as well!"

 

All he does is glare at me, kind of twitch his mouth, and say," Yeah." So I said good-bye and flounced off.

 

I didn't have him backed in a corner (crowded hallway), I was friendly and polite, and yet he got all glare-y, cause how dare the ugly fat girl talk to him. Never fails to strike me as funny, how guys complain about how girls never approach them, and then get uppity and surly when a girl (who they don't want) does.

 

I am also fairly attractive to lesbians. Seems straight guys are the only type I can't attract.

Yeah, I reacted like that guy once with an attractive girl . So it might not be because you were "ugly and fat".

 

Funnily enough, Somedude might actually fare better if he was a girl. But not that much. I suspect he'd be a little like ImperfectionIsBeauty.

[SteveC80]

While struggling guys dont want to hear someone like me who does very well with women complain beleive me i get to see the ugly side of women where im at also..

 

Ive seen how extremely shallow they can be ive seen hundreds of married women throw themslves at me and its soured me on women as a whole..

 

Everyone has their own plight..

 

I will agree that average looking women have many more options then average looking men and can shoot out of their league more which inflates their ego and where they stand on the social food chain..

[verhrzn]

Yeah, I reacted like that guy once with an attractive girl . So it might not be because you were "ugly and fat".

 

Funnily enough, Somedude might actually fare better if he was a girl. But not that much. I suspect he'd be a little like ImperfectionIsBeauty.

 

Why in the world would you react that way to an attractive girl?? That makes absolutely no sense.

 

In what way do you think SD would be like Imperfection?

[somedude81]

Yeah, because claiming that "fat girls aren't people" in dating, is the act of a nice guy.

Trying to twist my words.

Put it another way: my abrasiveness is your arrogance. We are the same; both of us struggling with dating. The only difference is, I have attempted to be empathetic and improve myself. What have you done except whine?

My arrogance?

 

That's funny. If was arrogant, I wouldn't have any problems with women since my main issue is thinking that I'm not good enough.

And abrasive or not, you miss my point. What's it going to take to cram in some empathy into your head? You admit yourself some girls (fat girls) have it difficult in dating. So why is there such a huge disconnect when you claim ONLY men have troubles? It's bizarre.

It's never going to happen.

 

I'll always believe that women have it much easier then men do, even the overweight ones. I simply can't remember the last time I heard of a woman who had hit 25 without ever having a boyfriend.

 

I reckon if she was a man she would clean up

And I think she'd do terrible. At least as bad as I've had it.

Funnily enough, Somedude might actually fare better if he was a girl. But not that much. I suspect he'd be a little like ImperfectionIsBeauty.

A little better?

 

If being in a happy marriage counts as a little better, then sure.

 

As for ImperfectionIsBeauty, she's just young and doesn't know what she wants. That is the only reason for her struggle, if she's struggling at all.

[ThaWholigan]

While struggling guys dont want to hear someone like me who does very well with women complain beleive me i get to see the ugly side of women where im at also..

 

Ive seen how extremely shallow they can be ive seen hundreds of married women throw themslves at me and its soured me on women as a whole..

 

I have seen a lot of shallow women as well as insatiable women in relationships too. That doesn't sour me on all of them.

 

Everyone has their own plight..

 

I will agree that average looking women have many more options then average looking men and can shoot out of their league more which inflates their ego and where they stand on the social food chain..

 

I have seen many average looking men shoot out of their league too. It's never as black and white as you guys make it seem. I mean, you guys have your reality and I won't denigrate that, but be open to the idea that in other places it's actually different.

 

Why in the world would you react that way to an attractive girl?? That makes absolutely no sense.

 

Because once upon a time I was an awkward young man with autism who didn't always do well in social situations . I can recall the thought process - "Why is this girl even talking to me??"

 

A thought process I have been trying (and succeeding) to abandon.

 

In what way do you think SD would be like Imperfection?

 

Imperfection is almost desperate to have a BF. SD is desperate for a GF. They are both down about their perceived inability to have one. The only difference between the two of them is that IiB actually has sex.

 

SD would probably call that a crucial difference since "she is able to get sex and I can't even get that". Not if you want a BF it doesn't.

[verhrzn]

Because once upon a time I was an awkward young man with autism who didn't always do well in social situations . I can recall the thought process - "Why is this girl even talking to me??"

 

A thought process I have been trying (and succeeding) to abandon.

 

But... why would you be angry about that?

 

 

Imperfection is almost desperate to have a BF. SD is desperate for a GF. They are both down about their perceived inability to have one. The only difference between the two of them is that IiB actually has sex.

 

SD would probably call that a crucial difference since "she is able to get sex and I can't even get that". Not if you want a BF it doesn't.

 

But SD admits he can get sex if he lowers his standards. That's what so hair-tearingly frustrating about his posts.... he can get a gf/a sex buddy, but he feels he is "above" the girls who could potentially be interested in him. Which is exactly the thing he claims girls do to him! It's like Rubric Cube: Pathetic Dating Edition.

 

Curious... don't ya think I'm more SD's counterpart than Imperfection? Desperate for a bf and all that.

[ThaWholigan]

That's funny. If was arrogant, I wouldn't have any problems with women since my main issue is thinking that I'm not good enough.

 

Probably. I always call my brother an arrogant cocky bastard, same height as you, does well with women.

 

It's never going to happen.

 

I'll always believe that women have it much easier then men do, even the overweight ones. I simply can't remember the last time I heard of a woman who had hit 25 without ever having a boyfriend.

 

That belief is not going to help you, it's better if you ignore it.

 

And I think she'd do terrible. At least as bad as I've had it.

 

I disagree. She has more balls, she actually approaches and asks people out. She might be introverted, but she's more willing to be social, even if she is, as you put it, "abrasive". Verhrzn would thrive in an environment that is actually more encouraging.

 

A little better?

 

If being in a happy marriage counts as a little better, then sure.

 

As for ImperfectionIsBeauty, she's just young and doesn't know what she wants. That is the only reason for her struggle, if she's struggling at all.

 

She's struggling because she doesn't have what she wants. She wants a BF and a family. She's young and immature, sure, but she does know what she wants. Like you, she needs to learn a few/a lot of things if she wants to get what she wants.

[ThaWholigan]

But... why would you be angry about that?

 

I wasn't angry, just awkward .

 

But SD admits he can get sex if he lowers his standards. That's what so hair-tearingly frustrating about his posts.... he can get a gf/a sex buddy, but he feels he is "above" the girls who could potentially be interested in him. Which is exactly the thing he claims girls do to him! It's like Rubric Cube: Pathetic Dating Edition.

 

I agree, he could do that. But he won't. But when it comes to girls he likes, he has no idea how to initiate or anything like that. If anything, Somedude would be better of doing OLD at this point.

 

Curious... don't ya think I'm more SD's counterpart than Imperfection? Desperate for a bf and all that.

 

You have more balls than he does. More fire. If you had more belief in yourself you would be a force and a half.

[verhrzn]

Tell ya what, SD.... I'll dress up as a guy and go hit on chicks (and I'm 5'0", so let's see just how bad short men have it) and you dress up as a woman and hit on guys..... and let's see who has a better time/is more successful.

 

Actually, this would be a blast. Hitting on women seems like a ton of fun... they're slippery and playful with their tone and conversation topics, and if you can catch em up, always willing to give you a laugh. Guys just seem to have two modes of flirting: "Wanna bang" or "wanna degrade."

 

I wasn't angry, just awkward .

 

Dude was full-out glaring. Like, royally pissed off. Do not see how that could be awkward. You're gonna have to really color in the lines for me on this one.

[ThaWholigan]

Tell ya what, SD.... I'll dress up as a guy and go hit on chicks (and I'm 5'0", so let's see just how bad short men have it) and you dress up as a woman and hit on guys..... and let's see who has a better time/is more successful.

 

Actually, this would be a blast. Hitting on women seems like a ton of fun... they're slippery and playful with their tone and conversation topics, and if you can catch em up, always willing to give you a laugh. Guys just seem to have two modes of flirting: "Wanna bang" or "wanna degrade."

 

 

 

Dude was full-out glaring. Like, royally pissed off. Do not see how that could be awkward. You're gonna have to really color in the lines for me on this one.

I don't know to be honest. Guys can just be really awkward. I don't know why that guy could be angry. I was just shocked that this girl came to talk to me, so I reacted in a surprised manner.

[somedude81]

But SD admits he can get sex if he lowers his standards. That's what so hair-tearingly frustrating about his posts.

Have you stopped to think about where I'm actually able to find sex when I lower my standards?

 

... he can get a gf/a sex buddy,

I can? I didn't know that!

 

Seriously, no, I've never had a GF or a sex buddy. I've never had sex with a woman more than once, I've never had sex in my own bed, never with a girl I've actually liked and I've never spent the night with somebody.

 

but he feels he is "above" the girls who could potentially be interested in him.

Where the hell are you getting the idea that I think I'm above anybody?

 

It's been nearly 10 years since I knew somebody was interested in me.

 

And yes, as desperate and lonely as I am, I'd rather be alone than be with somebody I have no attraction to. It would be an absolutely horrible relationship for me and her.