fortyninethousand322 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Maybe this is a separate thread, but why exactly are so many guys convinced women are some "Other," and can't possibly have as hard a time dating? I've been on this forum for nearly two years, and people still insist my experiences somehow don't count. Why is that? 1. You are an anomaly. You'd also likely have issues whether you were a man or a woman. 2. Women are somewhat of an "other". Men and women largely deal with different situations and encounter different problems. Sometimes worse problems, sometimes not. Largely this depends on each individual but on average I'd say men and women have a hard time relating to each other becuae, well, they can't because it's impossible.
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 1. The fallacy female posters endlessly engage in in these threads is that dating success = relationship success. Dating success is the... ability to get dates, sex and attention from the opposite sex (or whatever sex one is seeking), and women generally have it objectively much much easier in this respect in modern Western culture than men do. It's just a given reality that is easy to measure objectively. The existence of this thread and many like it, the existence of the PUA industry, where men ponder and puzzle endlessly how to get ANY date and the attraction of ANY woman offer strong evidence for the truth of this proposition. Commensurate female concerns here, women who complain they can't get any date, any sex, or any attraction, other than a few outliers, just don't exist. 2. Moving to -relationship- success, the next stage AFTER getting dates, sex, attraction, more subjective factors come into play, and the definition of success is dependent on what the individual in question is seeking. People should stop conveniently "blending" the two (1 and 2) for the purpose of straw manning and endless back and forth. The inability of women to admit any advantage in any area of life over men stems from a broad cultural need by modern women to feel victimized, put down or even oppressed by men. Any suggestion that women do in fact have certain advantages over men is verboten, so endlessly resisted. Transparent here as everywhere. In your opinion, do you honestly believe that women feel this is an advantage and play it down? I don't think they actually see it as an advantage at all.
Hawakai Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 This poster is a very good example of bitterness stemming from inability to relate to the opposite sex. Since your emotional intelligence is so developed(why are you not working for Dr. Phil) can you please explain to us why the bad boys and the Players clean-up, and the rest of the guys have such a hard time ''connecting'' with just one woman? Lets see how it goes, the complains from the men and women. Man: ''This girl looked at me while she was waiting for the exit door of the bus to open; does she like me?'' Woman'' I gave oral sex to this random guy and now I'm wondering if he has feelings for me when he bootycalls me at 3 am while calling me ''Wendy.'' I'm Jennifer.'' bitter is often used as a last-effort strategy to make invalid the truth in what the poster said. Do you relate to how physically crushing it is to carry cement 10 floors? Then how can you relate to how men have it in the dating world? Reply to me truthfully. Why do women have it as equally bad?
somedude81 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Maybe this is a separate thread, but why exactly are so many guys convinced women are some "Other," and can't possibly have as hard a time dating? I've been on this forum for nearly two years, and people still insist my experiences somehow don't count. Why is that? Because as bad as you think you have it, it doesn't compare to how bad the guys have it. I also find it funny to see the comparisons of sex to food aswell. I won't die without sex, and actually once I had found a way to be fulfilled without sex was the moment I started to get sex . So to me, I don't absolutely need sex and I won't go crazy without it. I went nearly 24 years without it, I can do just fine. It just seems like a desire to complain. IMO it's easier to be fulfilled without sex for a long time when you're a virgin. You basically didn't know what you were missing. Now go a few years without any sort of sexual actions and see how well you can cope. Of course, the best case scenario is that you wouldn't have to.
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Here we go with the bad boys again. 1
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 1. You are an anomaly. You'd also likely have issues whether you were a man or a woman. If I'd have this issues regardless of being a man or a woman, than it means women DON'T automatically have an advantage.... It means you can still have dating problems, even if you are biologically a woman. And how can you possibly say I'm an anomaly? I am an anomaly only in that I am loud.... there are lots and lots of women on even just this site talking about their lack of options (Anela, Iris, Titania come to mind off the top of my head.) The only thing that differs about me is I'm ANGRY and vocal about it. So it's not that I'm an anomaly, it's that you guys don't seem to be paying attention to women who are not in-your-face obvious about their dating difficulties. (Or you hand-wave them away as "not counting.")
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Because as bad as you think you have it, it doesn't compare to how bad the guys have it. IMO it's easier to be fulfilled without sex for a long time when you're a virgin. You basically didn't know what you were missing. Now go a few years without any sort of sexual actions and see how well you can cope. Of course, the best case scenario is that you wouldn't have to. I would do it just to prove to you I could
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Because as bad as you think you have it, it doesn't compare to how bad the guys have it. And yet another "**** you" to Somedude. Until you've been an ugly girl, you can't possibly make that assessment. I never claim some guys don't have it hard. But to claim that NO women have it as hard as men is absolutely, freaking ridiculous. Until you've had my life, SD, kindly step off on man-splaining to me how "difficult" I've had it compared to men.
Hawakai Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 In your opinion, do you honestly believe that women feel this is an advantage and play it down? I don't think they actually see it as an advantage at all. Here's a little advice that might help you out. What people say is of no importance. Unless their actions match the words coming out of their lips, many are going to act like victims. Like Hillary Clinton say that when a soldier dies, who suffers the most is the wife. And the children. Really? You don't need to be the Einstein of sociality to see that Pornography, strip-teasers, craiglist sex ads, and whatever exist because its much harder for men to find sex, or a relationship at all. In your opinion, do you honestly believe that women feel this is an advantage and play it down? I don't think they actually see it as an advantage at all. Do you think that rich people become rich by playing fair?
Hawakai Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Here we go with the bad boys again. When NASA engineers begin to have far more success with women I'll start talking about that. Happy?
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 If I'd have this issues regardless of being a man or a woman, than it means women DON'T automatically have an advantage.... It means you can still have dating problems, even if you are biologically a woman. And how can you possibly say I'm an anomaly? I am an anomaly only in that I am loud.... there are lots and lots of women on even just this site talking about their lack of options (Anela, Iris, Titania come to mind off the top of my head.) The only thing that differs about me is I'm ANGRY and vocal about it. So it's not that I'm an anomaly, it's that you guys don't seem to be paying attention to women who are not in-your-face obvious about their dating difficulties. (Or you hand-wave them away as "not counting.") I didn't say you were an anomaly on this board, I said you were an anomaly. LS is hardly representative of the real world. Lest you think most men are like me, SD81, et al. Yes, women can still have dating problems, however on the whole those problems are different than faced by men "on average". For example, I'm sure most men do not have to deal with stalkers/online creepers nearly as much as women do. Does that count as a "dating problem"? I'd say it does. And that's just one example of how things are different between the sexes. Whether that makes it better or worse for one gender or the other largely depends on your own circumstances and perspective.
Anela Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Of course the grass is greener, it's beautifully trimmed and is sparkling with morning dew, and look, it's a deer! When somebody has options, there is a greater possibility of something you want being in those options, than if one didn't have any options. Going back to the ridiculous claim that men have it easier to get into a relationship than women. Just consider this. In a two month period Bob could go on dates with four different women.. In that same time period Suzy could go on dates with eight different men. Who do you think has better odds of finding somebody they are compatible with? Well then, why not just go with the fact that neither gender has it easier based on gender alone? Getting so many dates doesn't guarantee that you will find a relationship. Getting a date doesn't guarantee that sex will happen - or if sex does happen, it doesn't mean that it will be great. Good-looking people might get more dates, but if they're dead boring, then they won't get much more than that. I have various things that I expect to be rejected for; based on people's definitions of what a loser is, I fit several of them- but I also know that I'm a pretty decent person overall. I'm surprised when someone likes me, but there have been mornings when I've woken up in that very relaxed state, and thought about how easy some things should be/should have been, and how difficult they can become when insecurities hit, and it's like they're sitting right there between you and someone you really like. Really, I could kick myself over and over. And yet I still have them - some are amplified, and others are diminished. I get tired of hearing about how it's supposedly much easier for me, because I can walk into a bar and get some guy - any guy - to go to bed with me. Picture that guy in Deliverance, assessing the attractiveness of Jon Voight, "He's got a real preety mouth" and you might feel the way I do, when it comes to that idea. As long as he has a penis, then he's acceptable? then the same should go for the women that aren't even considered by men here. As long as she has a vagina (and is of age, consenting...) then she should be acceptable. Even if I walked out of there with the guy I considered the hottest guy there, it doesn't mean anything - he's ready to use me, but not see me as much more than a one-night stand. What's so great about that?
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Here's a little advice that might help you out. What people say is of no importance. Unless their actions match the words coming out of their lips, many are going to act like victims. Aren't you guys doing the same thing? When NASA engineers begin to have far more success with women I'll start talking about that. Happy? You guys who believe all that bad boy stuff make me laugh . Masculine men get laid. I don't know a single man in my life who doesn't get laid a lot, except possibly 2-3 people. I was the one out of all the guys who NEVER got laid until recently. And I didn't bitch about it on the internet or blame girls dating bad boys or any of that stuff. I pity the guys who think like that to be honest, and not even on an insulting level, but simply because it must be so imprisoning to think that way. I feel liberated because that sh*t doesn't bother me, nor does it exist in my reality.
Hawakai Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 None of these things mean she wasn't hot only that you didn't like her. That pretty much puts the rest of your post moot Yeah, she was hot. Buckle teeth, skinny, bad skin, very short, and very aggressive. Dunno how she wasn't working for Playboy. It rains a lot in England. That pretty much means that when its sunny in another Country, it just can't be. The rest of your post is moot. Seriously..
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Like Hillary Clinton say that when a soldier dies, who suffers the most is the wife. And the children. Really? You don't need to be the Einstein of sociality to see that Pornography, strip-teasers, craiglist sex ads, and whatever exist because its much harder for men to find sex, or a relationship at all. Or they exist because women have been socially programmed for hundreds/thousands of years to suppress their sexual desire, and labeled whores/sluts/fallen women if they engage in sex outside marriage/a monogamous relationship. And the consequences of sex lie entirely on the woman... women get pregnant, women contract STDs at a higher rate, women are physically smaller than men and thus in a stranger-for-sex situation gone wrong, are harmed more easily... Before the Industrial Revolution, it was women who were portrayed as the great seducers, the ones who couldn't control themselves in regards to sex and had to have their fathers/husbands constantly watch over them to prevent them from sinning. For all you know, without the shame that comes attached to female sexuality in this society, women would be posting ads just as much. Furthermore, several of those men posting ads ARE in relationships and having regular sex, they just want more of it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 One thing I will add: I have met far more men like SD81 (or me or others similar) than I have met women with dating issues like that. A big part of that is because men are easy...
Author ThaWholigan Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 One thing I will add: I have met far more men like SD81 (or me or others similar) than I have met women with dating issues like that. A big part of that is because men are easy... I have met a grand total of 6 people with those issues. Half of them were women.
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 One thing I will add: I have met far more men like SD81 (or me or others similar) than I have met women with dating issues like that. A big part of that is because men are easy... But you also admit that you're not friends with many women. I have met lots of people of BOTH genders with dating problems.... some guys who can't get girls to leave them alone, and some girls who can't get guys to pay attention to them.
Hawakai Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Aren't you guys doing the same thing? When something is wrong in a situation the proper course of action is to discuss what is wrong so to make the solution appear. When one comments that the dude living above him turns the music on at 6 am, he's not complaining out of ''bitterness.'' Its a nature response to having your sleep pattern disturbed. I pity the guys who think like that to be honest, and not even on an insulting level, but simply because it must be so imprisoning to think that way. I'm waiting for you to put that belief system in a woman-made thread on whoever it was that screwed her over. Or do you reserve your cutesey shaming language for men? I feel liberated because that sh*t doesn't bother me, nor does it exist in my reality. Yeah, I'm sure it doesn't bother you at all. Maybe when you start interacting with men instead of having 5 thousand posts on a chick forum you might start to think differently.
dasein Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 This poster is a very good example of bitterness stemming from inability to relate to the opposite sex. And when the dating/relationship fallacy bone is exposed and pulled away, a logical argument is made that in any way threatens the "victimhood" bone or suggests women may have some advantages over men... do not pass go, do not collect $200, straight to personal insults (amusingly inaccurate ones), snapping and growling to protect that bone at all costs. Grrrrr. Arfarf.
Anela Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Sometimes, when I see all the talk of getting sex and needing sex, on this board, I hear that voice from that one commercial, and picture that dog shooting around saying: "BaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBacon..BACON!!!!!" 1
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 And when the dating/relationship fallacy bone is exposed and pulled away, a logical argument is made that in any way threatens the "victimhood" bone or suggests women may have some advantages over men... do not pass go, do not collect $200, straight to personal insults (amusingly inaccurate ones), snapping and growling to protect that bone at all costs. Grrrrr. Arfarf. All right, let's try a new tactic. Women (since we're apparently a cult collective) finally admit they have an advantage over men in dating. Now what? How does that help you? In a world where this hypothetical admission occurred, what would be the result? Do you somehow see dating getting easier for men? Do you see women opening up their legs for any "nice guy" because they've finally admitted their biological parts make dating easier? Why are you so insistent on women admitting this? What does it earn you?
dasein Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Sometimes, when I see all the talk of getting sex and needing sex, on this board, I hear that voice from that one commercial, and picture that dog shooting around saying: "BaconBaconBaconBaconBaconBacon..BACON!!!!!" Interestingly enough, that's the exact image I see on this forum when any poster dares to question the female victimhood orthdoxy.
somedude81 Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 I would do it just to prove to you I could ROFL! Abstinence challenge 2012! No sex till 2020! You lose if you have sex, go insane or kill somebody that includes yourself. And abstain! (I'd definitely lose ) And yet another "**** you" to Somedude. Until you've been an ugly girl, you can't possibly make that assessment. I never claim some guys don't have it hard. But to claim that NO women have it as hard as men is absolutely, freaking ridiculous. Until you've had my life, SD, kindly step off on man-splaining to me how "difficult" I've had it compared to men. Until you've been an ugly girl? Honey, I'm a short man. Not being able to get any guys at all, for dating for sex, is just not a problem women have to go through. That includes you.
verhrzn Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Until you've been an ugly girl? Honey, I'm a short man. Not being able to get any guys at all, for dating for sex, is just not a problem women have to go through. That includes you. Yeah because no short men ever get laid. You admitted yourself you get sex when you lower your standards. Same for women-we CAN get sex when we lower our standards. So, thus far, how the **** are men and women different?? As for dating, I certainly can't get any guys. I am only dating now because I pursued relentlessly and did everything possible to make myself attractive, something you refuse to try ("Friends? Why bother having friends?" "I only want hobbies that will help me meet girls!") So just gimme a mother****ing break.
Recommended Posts