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Things I've learned about dating in the last few months

ThaWholigan

By ThaWholigan
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threebyfate Established Member

threebyfate

Posted
Posted
Hawaki sorry but you are blatantly lying here. "Many" times you have seen very tall highly attractive men with "obese" and ugly girls? And you have never seen a woman with a less attractive man? Sorry but just cause its a forum doesn't mean you can say stupid things and get away with it.

 

http://www.sofeminine.co.uk/shim.gif

 

http://buylovely.com/files/funzug/imgs/celebrities/stylish_celeb_couples_05.jpg

  • Like 1
KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

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I'm actually shocked at how un-understanding (is that a word? Haha) some guys can be re: how it is for a woman in the dating world.

 

First off, I totally appreciate how hard it is to initiate talking to a woman etc. I totally see how hard it could be for some guys who aren't naturally smooth with the ladies.

 

But I've seen someone in this thread who adamently states it's easier for women to get laid turn around and admit he could get laid too if he lowered his standards.

 

You don't think a woman going out and getting laid is often lowering her standards? A lot of times women who do that really crave intimacy, companionship, anything, and this is how she can get it.

 

Do you know, I place NO value on sex with a stranger. None. If I were single and I wanted to get off, I'd get myself off. I'm not going to pick up some random guy, risk getting raped or murdered, and end up feeling completely used just to get some action. Yes, I could walk to the nearest pub and have my pick of horny drunks. Well, that's the same as a man having his pick of women he finds repulsive. Big privilege, right?

 

I get how hard it is for men. What I don't get is how unsympathetic some dudes are being re: what it's like for a woman. We're all just trying to be happy on the same planet. We aren't enemies! I find those who think we are the enemy are the unhappy ones. Chicken and egg scenario?

 

Oh, and on a lighter note, if it's all so in women's favour, how come we're the ones 'losing value' after 30 or whatever? Hahaha! I say 'lighter' because I think that's comical. I'm 39 and haven't turned into a troll yet, haha! But yeah, if you believe that's true, how could you think it's easier for women?

 

:D

 

I think those who are sympathetic to others in general are more popular in general.

  • Like 5
yamanbt Member

yamanbt

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Posted

Thomas, I'm sorry to hear that story, brother. This is an example of the crap we're talking about. What 44 year old woman do you know who couldn't get a man to touch her ever in life, and would have to pay for her first ever sexual encounter in her 40s? Not even the most hideous one.

 

Also, let's stop bull*****ting on this thread about the casual vs. commitment thing. There are countless guys who are aiming for relationships with ladies, but are pushed away in favor of the playboy who appeals to the superficial sensibilities of those women. Therefore, if anything, it is the opposite. "Nice guy" types look to have relationships with women, only to be ignored in favor of the player. Then the woman bitches and cries when she gets played. I don't want to hear this "I didn't know he was a jerk until he showed his true colors" bull*****. If a guy conducts himself like a player, it's pretty f*cking obvious, but that type of guy appeals to your superficial sensibilities. That is the reason why you constantly end up in the same situation.

 

I have this debate with my girlfriend all the time. I am a good looking guy, despite being overweight and short. Although I am not mister swaggerific, I am not a Star Wars convention-attending basement dweller either. I am an accomplished vocalist, and I am college-educated with a good job. However, the dating game has been hell on me. By that, I don't mean "bad dates and bad sex", I mean dating and/or sexual opportunities were few and far between.

Monm82 Established Member

Monm82

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As I've said before: Women have way more dating options than men.

 

Actual relationships: Closer, but women still have more options.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
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As I've said before: Women have way more dating options than men.

 

Actual relationships: Closer, but women still have more options.

What is the point of having options you don't want? Are women obliged to take them because they have them?

 

Don't get me wrong, I understand why guys say this completely, but the grass is not greener on the other side.

  • Like 3
KraftDinner Established Member

KraftDinner

Posted
Posted
Thomas, I'm sorry to hear that story, brother. This is an example of the crap we're talking about. What 44 year old woman do you know who couldn't get a man to touch her ever in life, and would have to pay for her first ever sexual encounter in her 40s? Not even the most hideous one.

 

Also, let's stop bull*****ting on this thread about the casual vs. commitment thing. There are countless guys who are aiming for relationships with ladies, but are pushed away in favor of the playboy who appeals to the superficial sensibilities of those women. Therefore, if anything, it is the opposite. "Nice guy" types look to have relationships with women, only to be ignored in favor of the player. Then the woman bitches and cries when she gets played. I don't want to hear this "I didn't know he was a jerk until he showed his true colors" bull*****. If a guy conducts himself like a player, it's pretty f*cking obvious, but that type of guy appeals to your superficial sensibilities. That is the reason why you constantly end up in the same situation.

 

I have this debate with my girlfriend all the time. I am a good looking guy, despite being overweight and short. Although I am not mister swaggerific, I am not a Star Wars convention-attending basement dweller either. I am an accomplished vocalist, and I am college-educated with a good job. However, the dating game has been hell on me. By that, I don't mean "bad dates and bad sex", I mean dating and/or sexual opportunities were few and far between.

 

I mean no disrespect, but maybe you aren't as good-looking as you think.

mortensorchid Established Member

mortensorchid

Posted
Posted

The "type" is certainly true. I got for Frankenstein's monster ugly man or I go for a pretty boy. In the past that is, I'm trying to refocus my needs and wants so that I will not overlook something good or bad about others.

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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
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Posted
The "type" is certainly true. I got for Frankenstein's monster ugly man or I go for a pretty boy. In the past that is, I'm trying to refocus my needs and wants so that I will not overlook something good or bad about others.

You can't change your type really. You just have to find a happy medium. I've noticed the kinds of girls who are attracted to me are similar in nature aswell, so I'm seeing who my "type" really is.

SmileFace Established Member

SmileFace

Posted
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@Thawho

 

I was reading the 8 types and even if I don't like to admit I fell into one of those preselected boxes. Which sadly enough is pretty depressing since I would love to change from that. Anywho

 

You stated something about 3 question - does that have to do with that as well?

ScreamingTrees Established Member

ScreamingTrees

Posted
Posted
Exactly, I didn't screw up. Guys screw up all the time. I reckon that guys on average who go outside encounter at least a dozen girls a year who were attracted to them and they screwed it up somehow. It's not their fault, but they do screw up.

 

I actually speculate that girls could indeed be attracted to you right now, but you don't have any clue whatsoever and end up screwing it up. Again, not your fault IMO, not at all. You just don't know.

.

 

So, do you mean in terms of assessing the interest level of others, or just screwing up in the interactions with people you realize ARE possibly interested?

 

I would never realize a girl's interested unless she made it pretty clear or we spent time together.. I could never get a vague vibe of attraction off of a girl. I do seem to get those feelings a lot, but I assume it's just wishful thinking. I mostly just try to force myself to think that this or that random girl that I'm around is liking what she sees, just to make myself feel better regardless of how she probably really feels.

Hawakai Established Member

Hawakai

Posted
Posted
Hawaki sorry but you are blatantly lying here. "Many" times you have seen very tall highly attractive men with "obese" and ugly girls? And you have never seen a woman with a less attractive man? Sorry but just cause its a forum doesn't mean you can say stupid things and get away with it.

I don't remember ever having met you for you to have such freedom to insult me. Get down from your pony of ''I know it all'' or you'll be reported for harassment. I don't know where you are from and I don't know your social class(well....) but I've been to many Countries and I've seen many more people than you'll ever see, and I stand strong by my statement that I've never seen women genuinely interested in men who were ugly.

 

Being with a man for money is not ''being.'' Its nothing more than gold-digging.

 

:rolleyes:

Hawakai Established Member

Hawakai

Posted
Posted

 

Yeah, but Beyonce was love-struck for him. His immense wealth, social status and power in the music industry had nothing to do with her decision to marry him. Sometimes it happens, when you see an ugly guy hitting it off with a below average/average/hot woman - and it ends up in marriage even more so! - and you just know that its true, everlasting love.

 

But Hawakai! She's was rich before meeting him!

 

When JP Morgan began to earn millions, he stopped his every activity. He was already satisfied with his bank account.

Revolver Established Member

Revolver

Posted
Posted

Lol Jay Z is rich. That doesn't count(and I'm a big fan)

fortyninethousand322 Established Member

fortyninethousand322

Posted
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Lol Jay Z is rich. That doesn't count(and I'm a big fan)

 

Speaking of which, anyone have a picture of any of the Rothschilds' wives?

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted

 

I get how hard it is for men. What I don't get is how unsympathetic some dudes are being re: what it's like for a woman.

 

If they were able to relate to women better they wouldn't be so unlucky in love. However, they don't get this because they are not able to relate...

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
You can't change your type really. You just have to find a happy medium. I've noticed the kinds of girls who are attracted to me are similar in nature aswell, so I'm seeing who my "type" really is.

 

It's not true for me. Different types of men are attracted to me (I'm talking lasting attraction, not a drunken conversation) in terms of looks, personality, level of assertiveness, ethnicity, background. They would be difficult to see as similar in any way.

somedude81 Established Member

somedude81

Posted
Posted
What is the point of having options you don't want? Are women obliged to take them because they have them?

 

Don't get me wrong, I understand why guys say this completely, but the grass is not greener on the other side.

Of course the grass is greener, it's beautifully trimmed and is sparkling with morning dew, and look, it's a deer!

 

When somebody has options, there is a greater possibility of something you want being in those options, than if one didn't have any options.

 

Going back to the ridiculous claim that men have it easier to get into a relationship than women.

 

Just consider this. In a two month period Bob could go on dates with four different women.. In that same time period Suzy could go on dates with eight different men.

 

Who do you think has better odds of finding somebody they are compatible with?

Hawakai Established Member

Hawakai

Posted
Posted (edited)
If they were able to relate to women better they wouldn't be so unlucky in love. However, they don't get this because they are not able to relate...

 

 

Yesterday I was doing some group work with a girl who had greasy hair, didn't know how to blend the colours of her clothes, and had trouble keeping her mouth quiet(she'd complain to anyone near her).

 

She was telling me how she couldn't find a decent guy. She showed me her text messages inbox. it was filled with dozens and dozen of text messages. That day alone she had received dozens of messages from guys eager to take her out.

 

I asked her why was she having such a hard time finding someone at least good enough for now when its obvious guys are sexually attracted to her, and if they are willing to waste money on her, the guys at least see some potential in her for a relationship - or at least find her sexually appealing which is an ego booster in any case.

 

She told me she had some issues she needed to take care before. Suspecting what it was about, I asked her if she had a picture of the last guy she had been in a relationship with. She complied. And... the guy was a French male model. I know because I watch the Fashion channel and I had seen that dude before :lmao:.

 

Men cannot relate to women because most of the guys who have trouble dating aren't swimming in invitations from average women. Most of the guys who don't hit the gym(many guys have health problems or are ectomorphs) and spend hundreds upon hundreds on clothes do not have much of a choice on whom they can attract, and I've seen way too many times, very attractive guys having to settle for below average girls as the women in their league looks wise expected to be dined and wined at the hottest spots.

 

Some of you think all a guy has to do is to go out with the women he's not attracted to. That's due to projection. You lot resort to dating the men you ain't attracted to while waiting for the men you actually want to sleep with/be in a relationship with to either become single again, or to notice your existence, and that makes you completely blind to the fact that most guys cannot even go down because the below average girls can easily have sex with above average men.

 

Emilia, I'm sure you can relate to the South African miners who were murdered by the govt. because they said no to their exploitation at the hands of the Elite.

What is the point of having options you don't want? Are women obliged to take them because they have them?

lets say you hate beans and all you have to eat is a can of beans. Are you going to starve yourself or are you going to eat some beans? Women might not have their #1 choice but at least they can have sex and male attention whenever and wherever they want it. Same can't be said for most guys. Got it? Edited by Hawakai
  • Like 1
dasein Established Member

dasein

Posted
Posted (edited)

1. The fallacy female posters endlessly engage in in these threads is that dating success = relationship success. Dating success is the... ability to get dates, sex and attention from the opposite sex (or whatever sex one is seeking), and women generally have it objectively much much easier in this respect in modern Western culture than men do. It's just a given reality that is easy to measure objectively. The existence of this thread and many like it, the existence of the PUA industry, where men ponder and puzzle endlessly how to get ANY date and the attraction of ANY woman offer strong evidence for the truth of this proposition. Commensurate female concerns here, women who complain they can't get any date, any sex, or any attraction, other than a few outliers, just don't exist.

 

2. Moving to -relationship- success, the next stage AFTER getting dates, sex, attraction, more subjective factors come into play, and the definition of success is dependent on what the individual in question is seeking. People should stop conveniently "blending" the two (1 and 2) for the purpose of straw manning and endless back and forth.

 

The inability of women to admit any advantage in any area of life over men stems from a broad cultural need by modern women to feel victimized, put down or even oppressed by men. Any suggestion that women do in fact have certain advantages over men is verboten, so endlessly resisted. Transparent here as everywhere.

Edited by dasein
  • Like 5
Hawakai Established Member

Hawakai

Posted
Posted
1. The fallacy female posters endlessly engage in in these threads is that dating success = relationship success. Dating success is the... ability to get dates, sex and attention from the opposite sex (or whatever sex one is seeking), and women generally have it objectively much much easier in this respect in modern Western culture than men do. It's just a given reality that is easy to measure objectively. The existence of this thread and many like it, the existence of the PUA industry, where men ponder and puzzle endlessly how to get ANY date and the attraction of ANY woman offer strong evidence for the truth of this proposition. Commensurate female concerns here, women who complain they can't get any date, any sex, or any attraction, other than a few outliers, just don't exist.

 

2. Moving to -relationship- success, the next stage AFTER getting dates, sex, attraction, more subjective factors come into play, and the definition of success is dependent on what the individual in question is seeking. People should stop conveniently "blending" the two (1 and 2) for the purpose of straw manning and endless back and forth.

 

The inability of women to admit any advantage in any area of life over men stems from a broad cultural need by modern women to feel victimized, put down or even oppressed by men. Any suggestion that women do in fact have certain advantages over men is verboten, so endlessly resisted. Transparent here as everywhere.

 

And women abhor the PUA community. I don't understand why someone secure in their knowledge that women are attracted to many different types of men would spend so much energy putting down something that is, in their words, fantasy.

 

The irony in all of this is that PUAistry is not about getting laid with as many women as possible.. its about finding that one woman who is attracted to the average and below average man. Worst.. many of the headfigures of PUA(Roissy/Roosh V) can only get laid with the most average of women, regardless of how much skill they have.

 

Online dating sucks for men. Pua doesn't work that well. Muscle-building baring steroids doesn't work like women think it does(just pump that iron all day and you'll grow), and by becoming well-educated and by earning high income you're just setting yourself up for gold-diggers.

 

Only the men who are naturally good-looking have success with women. The rest of the men are all in a race to pick the left-overs. But I'm sure women have it just as bad.

  • Like 1
verhrzn Established Member

verhrzn

Posted
Posted

Maybe this is a separate thread, but why exactly are so many guys convinced women are some "Other," and can't possibly have as hard a time dating? I've been on this forum for nearly two years, and people still insist my experiences somehow don't count. Why is that?

  • Like 2
Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
Yesterday I was doing some group work with a girl who had greasy hair, didn't know how to blend the colours of her clothes, and had trouble keeping her mouth quiet(she'd complain to anyone near her).

 

 

None of these things mean she wasn't hot ;) only that you didn't like her.

 

That pretty much puts the rest of your post moot

Emilia Established Member

Emilia

Posted
Posted
1. The fallacy female posters endlessly engage in in these threads is that dating success = relationship success. Dating success is the... ability to get dates, sex and attention from the opposite sex (or whatever sex one is seeking), and women generally have it objectively much much easier in this respect in modern Western culture than men do. It's just a given reality that is easy to measure objectively. The existence of this thread and many like it, the existence of the PUA industry, where men ponder and puzzle endlessly how to get ANY date and the attraction of ANY woman offer strong evidence for the truth of this proposition. Commensurate female concerns here, women who complain they can't get any date, any sex, or any attraction, other than a few outliers, just don't exist.

 

2. Moving to -relationship- success, the next stage AFTER getting dates, sex, attraction, more subjective factors come into play, and the definition of success is dependent on what the individual in question is seeking. People should stop conveniently "blending" the two (1 and 2) for the purpose of straw manning and endless back and forth.

 

The inability of women to admit any advantage in any area of life over men stems from a broad cultural need by modern women to feel victimized, put down or even oppressed by men. Any suggestion that women do in fact have certain advantages over men is verboten, so endlessly resisted. Transparent here as everywhere.

 

This poster is a very good example of bitterness stemming from inability to relate to the opposite sex.

  • Like 1
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ThaWholigan Established Member

ThaWholigan

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Maybe this is a separate thread, but why exactly are so many guys convinced women are some "Other," and can't possibly have as hard a time dating? I've been on this forum for nearly two years, and people still insist my experiences somehow don't count. Why is that?

It's grass is greener basically. I have nothing to say because I'm not trying to convince anybody, my only stance is that I disagree that women have it easier. Maybe in this regard I think like a woman, because I would rather not have a bunch of options I don't want.

 

I also find it funny to see the comparisons of sex to food aswell. I won't die without sex, and actually once I had found a way to be fulfilled without sex was the moment I started to get sex :laugh:. So to me, I don't absolutely need sex and I won't go crazy without it. I went nearly 24 years without it, I can do just fine.

 

It just seems like a desire to complain.

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