I feel paranoid that he's giving up on the relationship...

[chloesara]

So about a month and a half a go I moved to Uni, leaving my boyfriend of nearly 2 years behind. To begin with, I thought that it was all okay, we talked frequently and nothing felt like it had changed. I figured that because I was coming home every other weekend, it would be fine.

Lately, however, he's gotten quite distant. I know that this is his way of coping with the distance but I confronted him about it and he said that he was finding it hard which has left me feeling really scared that he's going to give up and break up with me.

 

He is the same age but a year behind me and so still doing his A levels at college and has a lot of work to do and so he has hardly any time for me. For example, this weekend I am going home and i will be going to his house but he says, "I have loads of work to do so you probably can't sleep over". I know this is reasonable, but it makes me panic.

I feel like he is losing interest or just simply giving up on me.

 

Our anniversary is on the 23rd of November and whenever I ask him what we should do for it, he always just says, "I dunno." This makes me feel like he's doubting whether we'll even get to our anniversary.

I'm probably looking into things way too much but I'm panicking and I have no idea what to do about it! I feel like talking to him about it will just convince him to call it quits.

 

How do you make a long distance relationship (that isn't even that long distance) work?!

[Aviator76]

Hi,

Far be it from me to give advice but i'll try. For years and years from late teens I worked away. Out of the country in fact. The love of my life gave up on me because she couldnt handle it. The letters arrived less frequently until one day, I called her from abroad and she said it was over. That was it. Over. Done.

 

I continued to work away and over the years I met some fabulous women who became girlfriends, but every single time, they didnt or couldnt, handle the separation. I'll say this now, and be very surprised if anyone disagrees, but it takes a very special man/woman to wait and remain faithful for a loved one who is away for many months. Believe me, I found out the hard way that long distance relationships often fail if the two people involved arent able to maintain it.

 

If your boyfriend is having trouble now, don't let it put you off studying etc. Its your first year of Uni. Come on, life is a ball at Uni the first year. So many new experiences, nights out, and it wont be long until you start enjoying your life more and maybe not concentrating so much time on someone who doesnt seem to be willing to give you 100% of his time when he can.

 

good luck.

[justwhoiam]

Tell him that if his feelings have changed, you should break up. See his reaction. Let him go.