Sun Devil Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 So far this year, I have had 40 girls reject me and that was after I had established a connection of some kind. I have talked to a lot more girls. I only been on 3 dates, but nothing formed. How many girls did you guys ask out before you found a girlfriend?
tman666 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It's different for everyone. Some people are more successful with a "shotgun" approach to dating while others do better a more precision approach. Why is the urgency behind finding a girlfriend right away? Why not focus on making friends of both sexes, expanding your social circle, and building your social capital?
CarrieT Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 So far this year, I have had 40 girls reject me and that was after I had established a connection of some kind. I have talked to a lot more girls. I only been on 3 dates, but nothing formed. How many girls did you guys ask out before you found a girlfriend? I'm an intelligent *built* and sexually adventurous woman. And I went on 50+ dates with guys (and talked to HUNDREDS online) before I found The One. Only three dates? You have a long way to go, Little Grasshopper. 1
SmileFace Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 When someone finds the equation for this please let me know. Thanks!
Ross MwcFan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I'm an intelligent *built* and sexually adventurous woman. And I went on 50+ dates with guys (and talked to HUNDREDS online) before I found The One. Only three dates? You have a long way to go, Little Grasshopper. He's not talking about finding 'The One', he's talking about just at least having a girlfriend.
SmileFace Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 He's not talking about finding 'The One', he's talking about just at least having a girlfriend. There still isn't any set amount of girls. There is no answer to his question. I don't care if he was looking for the next quick **** - her answer is still valid.
Ross MwcFan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It's different for everyone. Some people are more successful with a "shotgun" approach to dating while others do better a more precision approach. Why is the urgency behind finding a girlfriend right away? Why not focus on making friends of both sexes, expanding your social circle, and building your social capital? Any healthy adult who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before, is going to feel some sort of urgency, they're going to at least want one sometime this year. 1
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Any healthy adult who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before, is going to feel some sort of urgency, they're going to at least want one sometime this year. That "urgency" is going to cause him problems, as it usually does. OP, there is no number, you have to keep being rejected until you find someone who likes you. It will be difficult, but it's better to do that and keep going.
triphopper414 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You have only been on three dates, that is different than being on dates with 40 different girls. What kinds of connections did you feel like you were establishing? Social? Intellectual? Physical? I am in the same spot as you only with men. Dating is always a crapshoot and you just have to keep on trying even if you are disappointed. I know it is hard to accept things especially when you like someone. It is very rare that someone great will fall in your lap. Just keep on working at it and I am sure you will find someone.
todreaminblue Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 So far this year, I have had 40 girls reject me and that was after I had established a connection of some kind. I have talked to a lot more girls. I only been on 3 dates, but nothing formed. How many girls did you guys ask out before you found a girlfriend? 40 girls in 11 months how did you form a connection? what were the names of the girls who rejected you?
Ross MwcFan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 That "urgency" is going to cause him problems, as it usually does. OP, there is no number, you have to keep being rejected until you find someone who likes you. It will be difficult, but it's better to do that and keep going. And don't you think giving up porn and masturbation will make getting a girlfriend feel even more urgent for him? 1
CarrieT Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 He's not talking about finding 'The One', he's talking about just at least having a girlfriend. When you get a GF (or BF), you believe they are "the one." I stand by my statement.
somedude81 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I'm an intelligent *built* and sexually adventurous woman. And I went on 50+ dates with guys (and talked to HUNDREDS online) before I found The One. Only three dates? You have a long way to go, Little Grasshopper. And how many rejections did you have to go through to get those dates? He asked out 40 girls and got 3 dates. That's a success ratio of 0.075% In order for him to get 50 dates, he'd need to ask out 666 girls. 40 girls in 11 months how did you form a connection? Yeah that does seem like a very large number of women to form a connection with. Though the next question is, what does he call a connection? 1
Ross MwcFan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 When you get a GF (or BF), you believe they are "the one." I stand by my statement. I thought the one was supposed to be like a soul mate or at least someone you're in love with.
tman666 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Any healthy adult who has never had a girlfriend/boyfriend before, is going to feel some sort of urgency, they're going to at least want one sometime this year. Of course, and I don't mean to belittle such a situation. However, in my experience, it's a Catch-22 since that same sense of urgency can really derail someone's ability to find a meaningful relationship. Hence the reason that I tend to give the same advice to people (mostly guys, it seems) in Sun Devil's situation: work first on improving your social network, increase your education, increase your physical fitness level, improve social skills, find new hobbies, join clubs that support your interests, travel to gain worldly perspective, etc. In other words, go back to the drawing board, and work on increasing one's "assets" that will help them become more attractive on the dating market. That's part of the reason that the whole PUA thing confuses me. In my experience, if you need a magic formula to keep a date moving forward, the prospect of that interaction evolving into a meaningful long term relationship is probably nil. If one gives in to the sense of urgency, they are basically putting the pursuit of self improvement on the backburner and running with what they currently have, which may not be enough. In addition, it seems that people tend to be more attracted to others who sit more on the "goal-oriented" and "driven" side of the spectrum. 2
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Of course, and I don't mean to belittle such a situation. However, in my experience, it's a Catch-22 since that same sense of urgency can really derail someone's ability to find a meaningful relationship. Hence the reason that I tend to give the same advice to people (mostly guys, it seems) in Sun Devil's situation: work first on improving your social network, increase your education, increase your physical fitness level, improve social skills, find new hobbies, join clubs that support your interests, travel to gain worldly perspective, etc. In other words, go back to the drawing board, and work on increasing one's "assets" that will help them become more attractive on the dating market. That's part of the reason that the whole PUA thing confuses me. In my experience, if you need a magic formula to keep a date moving forward, the prospect of that interaction evolving into a meaningful long term relationship is probably nil. If one gives in to the sense of urgency, they are basically putting the pursuit of self improvement on the backburner and running with what they currently have, which may not be enough. In addition, it seems that people tend to be more attracted to others who sit more on the "goal-oriented" and "driven" side of the spectrum. I actually have done almost a complete 180 regarding PUA, I'm gonna make a thread about it later.
tman666 Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I actually have done almost a complete 180 regarding PUA, I'm gonna make a thread about it later. Do it, man. Share them field notes.
CarrieT Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I thought the one was supposed to be like a soul mate or at least someone you're in love with. I don't believe in soul mates - if I get to a point of calling someone a boyfriend, I am in love with them and, at the time, at least believe they are quite possibly (and hopefully) the last person I will be in love with. Doesn't always work out, but I have entered each relationship with the devotion of making it last. 1
hinatticus Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 You have a long way to go, Little Grasshopper. Was that a shot at his height?
Feelin Frisky Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 How does a guy even get rejected by 40 chicks in a year? Something is wrong with the formula--like do you ask out biker chicks while wearing a bow tie? Ya-know-wha-I'm-sayin'?
CarrieT Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Was that a shot at his height? Not at all - it was a cultural reference implying student and teacher. Or have you never watched Kung Fu?
suladas Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 40? Ouch, but somehow I doubt it's been that many. I've met 4 since my BU in july and i'm like f**k this is annoying meeting so many duds. Well, only 3 have been duds so far the 4th is this weekend and hoping for better.
ThaWholigan Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Do it, man. Share them field notes. Done Say it ain't so! I never heard anything about this sort of things till I came to LS out of boredom/curiosity. Hell of an idea, and I could see where it works but... I dont think you can teach Charisma or Wit.. And it seems they just use a Max Tucker arshole approach... Which will only get you laid if you're good and present most of the package. There is nothing sincere, or at least I haven't seen anything. I think it would do you good Wholigan.. I mean, they do have some good points/notes but nothing I would base a strategy off of. Pull out the good move on, I'd say. Especially since you strike me as a pretty sincere/considerate dude. I can't say I haven't learned some stuff from PUA though. Tao Of Badass was a good read, even though the psychological stuff that he talked about was a little TGTBT. He did have a bit of a point about pre-selection, but even then, I don't think that matters all that much in the end.
AD1980 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 How does a guy even get rejected by 40 chicks in a year? Something is wrong with the formula--like do you ask out biker chicks while wearing a bow tie? Ya-know-wha-I'm-sayin'? If you do all cold approaches and arent attractive at all its not really that hard.. 1
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