River Rain Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 It's not anger. I haven't said a cross word to her. It's simply "this is what I expect and I will not budge from it". Being the "biggest prick in the world" stems from anger don't you think?
Author puzzled1 Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 It's not anger. I haven't said a cross word to her. It's simply "this is what I expect and I will not budge from it". That is exactly what I was doing, but then I couldn't control it anymore I have a picture built inside my head of her, right now she isn't living that way (or so my mind thinks) and that was bothering me. I now cannot see a damn thing she has going on now and that will set my mind free I think.
Author puzzled1 Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 Being the "biggest prick in the world" stems from anger don't you think? I want to act like biggest prick in the world (in my head) when I wanna open my heart up to her. I used to be an angry person when I was younger, I have changed and been able to control my emotions (as far as anger goes) I mean I cannot force anyone to love me as much as I love them. Thats the beauty of life right?
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 Being the "biggest prick in the world" stems from anger don't you think? Not at all.
Simon Phoenix Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 That is exactly what I was doing, but then I couldn't control it anymore I have a picture built inside my head of her, right now she isn't living that way (or so my mind thinks) and that was bothering me. I now cannot see a damn thing she has going on now and that will set my mind free I think. Yeah, you have to get her off the pedestal. We all idealize our exes at some point after the break -- I know I did. But they aren't perfect. One of the biggest helping tools from me was having mutual friends (or in my case, a relative of hers) tell me that she basically did me a favor. I was in a short relationship with my last ex and her brother-in-law (my best friend) told me a few weeks ago (without my prompting) that she makes horrible choices with men (obviously, she broke up with me ) and that I was better off, that I could do better. And he's close to her. Then I had another mutual friend tell me the same thing (also without prompting, I was not wanting to talk about my ex at all), that she had issues (including a previous relationship that saw her boyfriend beat her -- which sucks horribly but also calls into question her screening process) and that if she knew what was good for her, that she'd be on her hands and knees crawling back to me. So why some of that was probably said to make me feel better, it also empowered me and knocked her off that pedestal.
Author puzzled1 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Yeah, you have to get her off the pedestal. We all idealize our exes at some point after the break -- I know I did. But they aren't perfect. One of the biggest helping tools from me was having mutual friends (or in my case, a relative of hers) tell me that she basically did me a favor. I was in a short relationship with my last ex and her brother-in-law (my best friend) told me a few weeks ago (without my prompting) that she makes horrible choices with men (obviously, she broke up with me ) and that I was better off, that I could do better. And he's close to her. Then I had another mutual friend tell me the same thing (also without prompting, I was not wanting to talk about my ex at all), that she had issues (including a previous relationship that saw her boyfriend beat her -- which sucks horribly but also calls into question her screening process) and that if she knew what was good for her, that she'd be on her hands and knees crawling back to me. So why some of that was probably said to make me feel better, it also empowered me and knocked her off that pedestal. The thing is, I know I was the better one in this relationship, I know I put everything I had into it, and when I look back, she just used me. She has some medical issues which some are physical and some are mental. I was there the whole time by her showing her the support she deserves. What do I get at the end? "I feel as we are more of best friends than lovers" WTF? You want me to seduce you every minute I spend time with you? I think she has the G.I.G.S and wants to keep me around. I don't want to be around her but I cannot stop thinking about her, I need to focus on other things in life. (All day today, I did not leave my bed, (probably why I messaged her) On days like today, I need to still leave my house and go do something (I just don't know what??) My brother just changed his fb password so now i really cannot see anything in her life. (Bittersweet). I thought I had accepted the fact that its over but my mind wants to open some things that are already closed
Chi townD Posted November 3, 2012 Posted November 3, 2012 Well, you're not the first person to break NC and you won't be the last. All you did was give her and ego boost with all those sappy BS crap responses. She doesn't deserve your responses. Next time she texts, IGNORE IT!!!! She states that she thinks about you everyday. Think about that text, then think about the pic you saw of her smiling sitting on some dudes lap with his hands all over her. Do you honestly think that she's thinking about you then? 2
Author puzzled1 Posted November 3, 2012 Author Posted November 3, 2012 Well, you're not the first person to break NC and you won't be the last. All you did was give her and ego boost with all those sappy BS crap responses. She doesn't deserve your responses. Next time she texts, IGNORE IT!!!! She states that she thinks about you everyday. Think about that text, then think about the pic you saw of her smiling sitting on some dudes lap with his hands all over her. Do you honestly think that she's thinking about you then? Appreciate it man! That is what I needed. Brain starting to kick away the heart mode! One of my friend is telling me that they need volunteers for hurricane Sandy! I am looking into that because I think its the perfect time to give back to the community and keep busy! I feel good helping others in need.
Author puzzled1 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Update: On saturday, I spent my whole day with friends, went to a car meet and then had lunch, and then we went to the gun range and shot some cool stuff. When I was on my way home (10pm) she calls me.... I didnt pick up because I was not ready to talk to her. She then texted me. She said " I am sorry I shouldn't have called. I dont know what I am doing, I don't know anything. I just got overwhelmed all the sudden and missed my best friend so much. I am scared, I am so scared that the "love" I am searching for pales in comparison to ours, I am ****ing messed up in the head and I don't know how to fix it" I did not respond again. Tell me what I need to know LS!!!
flitzanu Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 Update: On saturday, I spent my whole day with friends, went to a car meet and then had lunch, and then we went to the gun range and shot some cool stuff. When I was on my way home (10pm) she calls me.... I didnt pick up because I was not ready to talk to her. She then texted me. She said " I am sorry I shouldn't have called. I dont know what I am doing, I don't know anything. I just got overwhelmed all the sudden and missed my best friend so much. I am scared, I am so scared that the "love" I am searching for pales in comparison to ours, I am ****ing messed up in the head and I don't know how to fix it" I did not respond again. Tell me what I need to know LS!!! none of that text says "i want to work on our relationship and get back together".
Chi townD Posted November 5, 2012 Posted November 5, 2012 She then texted me. She said " I am sorry I shouldn't have called. I dont know what I am doing, I don't know anything. I just got overwhelmed all the sudden and missed my best friend so much. I am scared, I am so scared that the "love" I am searching for pales in comparison to ours, I am ****ing messed up in the head and I don't know how to fix it" Translation: " Poor me, I want attention and I'm not getting it from my best friend. I may be searching for love in all the wrong places, but I'm having a kick ass time doing it! But, at the end of the day when the boy toy goes home. I find that I miss my best friend. I wish he would text me and give me an ego boost. I wish he would tell me that he doesn't hate me. I wish he would tell me.......ANYTHING! Because the guilt is really getting to me!" That text is selfishly motivated to put you on a guilt trip. If you don't believe me; I counted 11 times she said "I" in that text. And a big fat 0 on the amount of "You"s.
Author puzzled1 Posted November 5, 2012 Author Posted November 5, 2012 Thanks guys! Knew I could count on ya!! Ive just been so sad lately and depressed. Having some problems with family, school and this puts everything on top. My way of "getting away" was getting on my motorcycle and just go riding. Well about 2 weeks ago in the middle of my "break" I got in a wreck and ever since then I have been scared and paranoid. Well today was the 1st day I got my ass back up on it and rode it for a few miles.... baby steps!!
Author puzzled1 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 Hey guys!! After another week and a half of NC from her, she texted me today and asked "Are you done with me for good?" I said "Her Name, you have shattered my heart. I don't think there will ever be an "us" anymore. I have a couple of your belongings that I will return to you and we have to go our separate ways. I don't want to give you false hope because speaking from personal experience- its heartbreaking." Now I feel like ****
LostOne1 Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Hey guys!! After another week and a half of NC from her, she texted me today and asked "Are you done with me for good?" I said "Her Name, you have shattered my heart. I don't think there will ever be an "us" anymore. I have a couple of your belongings that I will return to you and we have to go our separate ways. I don't want to give you false hope because speaking from personal experience- its heartbreaking." Now I feel like **** you did and said what you had too... no use feeling like **** man. Be proud you were honest and stood up for yourself!
Tree_Salmon Posted November 14, 2012 Posted November 14, 2012 Hey guys!! After another week and a half of NC from her, she texted me today and asked "Are you done with me for good?" I said "Her Name, you have shattered my heart. I don't think there will ever be an "us" anymore. I have a couple of your belongings that I will return to you and we have to go our separate ways. I don't want to give you false hope because speaking from personal experience- its heartbreaking." Now I feel like **** this is perfect. don't regret this. let her think on it. watch her beg you in the coming weeks. move on.
Author puzzled1 Posted November 14, 2012 Author Posted November 14, 2012 Thanks guys!! It honestly sucks but I am keeping any self respect I have left to myself and not giving in anymore. This is how the rest of the conversation went Her- Anything I have bought you is yours to keep... I am truly sorry I broke your heart and I wish I could take it back! Me- Ill be fine, thanks for your concern. I have your mom's staple gun along with a couple of random things I wish to give back to you. Her- Okay yeah, she probably wants that back. I just don't even know what to say. These last few weeks have been terrible. Me- I cannot argue with you there. When do you want it back? Her- Probably next week sometime, or Sunday? Have you been okay? Me- Just let me know ahead of time as I have been pretty busy lately. Yes Ive been fine, hope you are doing well. Her- Okay I will no problem. Just know I miss you and think of you everyday, and again I'm sorry. I just cant say that enough. I haven't said anything back to her, as I don't see a need to.
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