NavyAirTraffic Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Ok, I need help. Yesterday my ex texted me almost 70 times in a 6 hour period. I tried to get her to stop texting me but she wouldn't leave me alone. I told her to stop texting me, I ignored, I said I was seeing something else but she wouldn't stop. She admitted cheating on me, the night before the day she left me (if that makes sense?), she said she met and kissed/made out with the guy she ultimately left me for. I don't believe she only kissed him but she came home that night shortly after the bar closed, so I don't really know. Well after hours, and I mean hours of her texting, calling, she even showed up at my house (I made her leave immediately) I asked her; "you won't stop contacting me, you haven't stopped for weeks even though you're with someone else. You never say you want me back. I just don't understand, why can't just leave me alone?" She responded "you're perfect, it was a huge mistake leaving you, I can't stop thinking of you, I want you back". She then told me she broke it off with the guy a couple days earlier. I don't know if I want her back. I've made some vast progress over that last couple of weeks. I've met 2 amazing women that I would love to get to know, or at least explore. I still love my ex very much but the trust is very much broken on my end. She says she sees me as a husband, someone she can be with forever but "I" just don't know. My question.... I think it's unfair that she go from me to him, then right back to me. I feel like she should be single for a while (give her some clear perspective), I shouldn't just give in. LS what do you think, what would you do, what do you think I should do??? I'm going to bed.
mammasita Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 Yes, she should be single for awhile. Make her REALLY work if she truly wants you back. That way, you know if she's serious or not.
Mint Sauce Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 I didn't follow the entire story, but my 2 cent: if this is the first time something like this happens between the two of you, I'd consider giving it a 2nd chance. However, her actions will have to prove how serious she is about you. Assuming you were in a LTR, living together, I'd request that she get a place on her own first instead of moving straight back in. And she'd have to agree on some counseling to find out what made her take this course of action. Even if the counseling isn't really necessary, this would be a way for her to show dedication to make it work, and to avoid this happening again. If this all sounds like too much hassle, move on. 1
River Rain Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 It's a tough decision. I got back together with the ex last weekend. I'm already having doubts to his sincerity about changing. I'm already having trust issues because he's lagging on the contact again. I wanted it to work, and he seemed genuine, not desperate. Saw me as his life partner too. I was getting to know a guy I liked too. I was healing well and getting over him. Hawaii50 told me something along the lines that people (well, he said men) will say anything when they're desperate. Do you think this is the case with her? She's desperate and lonely? She could also have lifted the blinders off and realized she missed out on the best thing that ever happened to her. Unfortunately, to find out the truth, you'll have to take a risk with your heart again, risk trusting her again. Are you ready for that yet? 1
veggirl Posted November 1, 2012 Posted November 1, 2012 (edited) Don't do it, at least not for quite a while. She is making an emotional, irrational plea because she is scared. The dust has not settled. Once it does, she will likely be gone again. Once she gets what she "wants" (you), will she still want it? Tread very lightly. She needs to be alone for a good while. Oh, I just read your backstory. Don't tread lightly---RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!! She just wants someone to take care of her. You are her fallback. She wants your $ and she wants a man for her kid. Edited November 1, 2012 by veggirl 1
Frank13 Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 This is simple. If you want her to leave you alone, tell her you agree and want to get back together with her. Once she gets this ego stoke she will disappear. People want what they can't have. That's all this is about.
thembones Posted November 2, 2012 Posted November 2, 2012 I don't know man, that is a tough one. Cheating, even if just kissing, would be really hard for me to take them back. I guess it is all about what you really want. If you think it is worth trying, then do it. 70 texts in in a week is fking crazy, let alone 6 hours. She might be psycho. I would suggest doing whatever you are going to do sooner than later. Best of luck.
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 Firstly thank you for taking the time to read/comment, I appreciate it. I never said I want her back, was just looking for clear minded advice from people I respect on LS. Well I wanted some time to think about it, I even met her for lunch yesterday, but I keep going back to the fact that she is broken/damaged. I couldn't look at her the same, she said all the right things but I just pictured his cock in her mouth while she was saying it. No, this is dead. I'd only use her for sex until someone better came along and I can't even do that, now that she's been with someone else.
Author NavyAirTraffic Posted November 2, 2012 Author Posted November 2, 2012 (edited) Why did you meet her for lunch? So you could picture someone else's cock in her mouth? Pleeeeeease tell me she bought at least. Why is it that the people who wave the NC flag the most adamantly seem to have the hardest time following their own advice? You baffle me NT. What is NC for? Isn't it for healing? Is it bad that I saw her and I want less to do with her, more confirmation that it is over? I tell people to go NC when their ex leaves, when they want nothing to do with them, when contact will do no good. I suggest it to people trying to get an unavailable/dead ex back, there is no point to that. When contacting your ex will only lead to MORE pain/suffering. I didn't do that, I didn't want her back. It was for me, I met her for me, "you can look but don't touch". I feel better because of it. Most dumpees still emotionally attached will become devastated by breaking contact. This is because the circumstances are different. The dumpee is the chaser during those meetings, not the case in mine. I think you need to read the reason for NC again monicaelise. I: don't want my ex back, I don't have an urge to contact her, breaking NC didn't set me back. I no longer fall under those categories. TaraMaiden NC Edited November 2, 2012 by NavyAirTraffic
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